Suggestions..regarding Sil Issue

kshema · Jun 7, 2016

Hi all,
Last year I had arguments with my Sil whose is my DHs elder sister. She is very rude and said many things to me 3 4 times. I was very quite and dint say anything and behaved normal with them whenever they visit. In my 5 years of married life i never give reverse answer to her just because dont want to spoil our relation bcz I know she is very attitude aggressive lady. Last year she said something on face very rudely it hurts a lot to me and I stopped calling msging her. Aftr that she started sending Advice quotes to me. I was not able to tolerate and blasted whatever I kept from 7years. Now we are not talking And my Dh also knows about her and he stopped calling her like before. My Fil is not well because of this issues (mil is telling). What should I do? Shall I ask Sorry and talk to her. Sometimes I feel why should I bend. I can tell I never hurt her in any chances before. I mentioned every thing about this issue in my earlier post.Had fight with Sil.
Now we have birthday of our baby my fil is insisting us to go their home and invite them. They are staying far (10hrs journey). She told me that "I am nothing to her.. If you wish u talk to me otherwise leave" this sentence sits in my mind. How can I go to her home. What should i do..
Please suggest

chocolate · Jun 8, 2016

OP, Do not apologize. Tell your in laws your SIL insulted you repeatedly and you had to retort. If you apologize its downhill from there. SIL and your in laws will gang up and abuse. You apologize you are at fault, you don't you are at fault. Atleast by not apologizing you are maintaining your self respect. Your SIL is acting like a spoilt brat and wants to be indulged. Don't give in. Good Luck.

divyarnair · Jun 8, 2016

From my experience--Try to maintain peace in family because usually family turn out to be of great support during crisis. During initial years of my marraige I had problem with my SIL also . However over years I only came to know that she really loves my husband and takes care of family although she has some traits I dont like.May be I had been too immature in handling the relationshiip.She even helped me as bystander in hosptial when my husband was not there. So try to make peace when you have an opportunity. Otherwise there will be a distance within family and this will be passed on to kids also.

sunshine1970 · Jun 8, 2016

I would not apologize, I made that mistake once, and then they hold you responsible for everything, and they never really "forgive" you, they pretend to. Then they keep throwing in your face. i would just be polite when I see her around but don't go out of your way for her, or you will always have to do this, and be expected to be the one that has to "fix" the problem constantly.