Stunning English to laugh at....... u ll really enjoy.....

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by vivbass, Jan 30, 2007.

  1. vivbass

    vivbass Gold IL'ite

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    Hi all,
    In Tamilnadu, there is a well known person by name, Mr. Jeppier, Chairman of Sathyabama deemed university and some more self financing colleges, always speaks in English. Thatcollege s tudents have collected & published a book by name "Jappier's Spoken English"
    ...
    Njoy ...........with his..............English..............
    Now, here are some classic English sentences from the great
    "Jappier's Spoken English"

    # At the ground:

    -----------------

    All of you stand in a straight circle.
    There is no wind in the balloon.
    The girl with the mirror please comes her...{Means: girl with specs please come here).


    # To a boy, angrily:

    ---------------------

    I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk?


    # While punishing students:

    -----------------------

    You, rotate the ground four times...
    You, go and understand the tree...
    You three of you stand together separately.
    Why are you late - say YES or NO .....(?)

    # While addressing students about Dress Code: (he is very strict abt this )
    -----------------------
    Every body should wear dress to college

    Boys no proplum
    Girls are pig proplum . (pig=big)
    Girls should wear only slawar no nitee.
    Girls should not wear T sirt ,U shirt,V shirt.. but if you want to wear .... remove it when inside the campus and put it oout side the campus

    # Sir at his best:

    ---------------

    Sir had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance, he happened to see one of our boys at the theatre, though the boy did no t see them.
    So the next day at s school... (to that boy) - "Yesterday I saw you
    WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre"



    # Sir at his best inside the Class room:

    ----------------------------------------------

    Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
    Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.
    Cut an apple into two halves - I will take the bigger half.
    Shhh...Quiet, boys...the principal JUST PASSED AWAY in the corridor

    You, meet me behind the class. (Meaning AFTER the class..)
    This one is cool >> "Both of u three get out of the class."

    Close the doors of the windows please. I have winter in my nose today...
    Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver.....
    Take 5 cm wire of any length....


    Last but not the least some Jeppiar experiences
    ...

    Once Sir had come late to a college function, by the time he reached, the function had begun, so he went to the dais, and said, sorry I am late, because on the way my car hit 2 muttons (Meaning goats).


    At Sathyabama college day 2002:


    "This college strict u the worry no .... U get good marks, I the happy, tomorrow u get good job, jpr the happy, tomorrow u marry I the enjoy"


    At St. Josephs college of engineering fresh years day 2003:


    "No ragging this college. Anybody rag we arrest the police "


    VERY IMPORTANT : ok enjoy this English, but dont forget your English !!:mrgreen:
     
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  2. honey

    honey New IL'ite

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    ha ha ha ha ha nice english.
    i cant stop laughing :rotfl
     
  3. meenakrishnan

    meenakrishnan Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear Viji,
    :rotfl :rotfl :rotfl
    That was FUNTASTIC!!!!!!!
    Thank you for sharing
    Love
    Meena
     
  4. vivbass

    vivbass Gold IL'ite

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    thanx to honey & meena.
     
  5. mohana

    mohana Silver IL'ite

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    Hey Viji had a hearty laugh,thanks for posting.:rotfl :rotfl :rotfl :rotfl
     
  6. jayana

    jayana Senior IL'ite

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    Hi Viji.........that was stunningly hilarious....:mrgreen:

    Thanks for sharing..
    Jay
     
  7. honeybee

    honeybee Gold IL'ite

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    Hi viv
    That was absolutely hilarious:clap .Had a hearty laugh.
    I the Thankyou for piece this (Got a little influenced!):tongue

    Regards
    Honeybee
     
  8. BhargaviChakravarthy

    BhargaviChakravarthy Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi,

    I really enjoyed sooooooooooo much:clap :clap :clap
    hahahahahahaha
    hahahahahahahahahahaha
     
  9. slgayatri

    slgayatri Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi viji
    :) :p
    Enjoyed a lot after reading this post....:clap
    I am little bit busy, and in the middle of the work, I am getting head ache.
    I want to refresh and I opened this site. Then I saw this post.
    Now really I am feeling cool.
    Thanks for sharing.

    Gayathri.:wave
     
  10. tehzeeb

    tehzeeb New IL'ite

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    Hi ,
    I really enjoyed it. Jappiers English is really funny and I believe that its the students of that college who would be enjoying it the Most.

    bye.
     

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