Stressed because of Money Minded In-laws family = Need urgent Suggestion

Hi Friend,

I think your husband is more responsible.If your mother in law understands that her elder son's hard earn money is spent like this,she will surely support you.If not tell your husband in soft manner to speak to your BIL to share SIL marriage expenses so that he will also come to know about his brother whether responsible or selfish.
Be Positive things will turn one day Time will change everything.

Take care of your baby

 

oops... wrong post

 

Next time...tell your mil to ask your bil as he also has responsibilities towards his sisters. Or tell them you are saving for the delivery .Your in laws + bil will keep asking as long as you give without protest.

As for the ticket drama...
1)tell your in laws to inform well in advance as the tatkal tickets are costly.
2)If they object...just tell them the site is down,
3)our computer is down,
4)office has put restriction on personal use of computer,
5)send detailed instruction to bil on how to book,tell him it is embarrassing that he can't book tickets for his parents and himself...he better learn before his children start making fun of him.
6) Tatkal booking were not being down because of some investigation in to rail frauds.

Make excuses till they get the hint ...or just tell them you can do what you can do...beyond that it is hurting your household budget.

And stop taking out money from your savings for petty things. Saving are for future and big investments. Invest in FDs that can't be broken for 3-5 without losing interest.

If you can spare 20,000 for FDs per month...then you should try investing in a plot or a small flat.That can't be broken for buying gifts. You need to be firm.Now you are going to be a mom and your child's future is your first responsibility than buying tatkal tickets for people or gifts for sil.You got her married...the other brother can take care of gifts.

If they still want you to give gifts...tell in laws/bil to pay EMI on marriage loan.Sil was your in law's responsibility.Your husband should politely tell them it is either the EMIs or gifts and tickets every month.Besides why are they travelling so often? Tell them they are getting old and should travel less.

 

Since bil is earning as well, when everyone is sitting together just have a straight fwd talk about sharing the expenses. I know they will get upset and create a big scene but it will give you some peace of mind that you did open up. If I were you I would tell mil directly that both the brothers should share equal expenses. My husband and his elder brother share there parental expenses. Initially whenever my husbands elder brother who also lives abroad, went to India, he would call my husband oh I am running short of money can you please send me some more money and my husband always sent since like an ideal indian man he can never say no to family. I made it clear to mil that we do have our expenses whenever we plan our India trip we do it with in our budget so please tell him to stop asking money from DH it's not good. Yes we are ready to help if he returns it. I have been called a big mouth, a person who does not have respect for elders and what not. But I have made my point heard and money calls have stoped. Problem solved. When we had just gotten married whenever my mil needed money she only called my hubby she never called her elder son. I told my mil for that as well that one month we will send and another month bil should send money. A big drama happened. My husband was called joru ka gulam who doesn't know how to control his wife. My husband was upset on me as well for a short while but problem solved again. Things have to be fair for everyone.

 

can you give more clear picture of real spending instead of wage 10k to 20k.

In India I never saw people spending 10k on just bocking train tickets.

Does the money also includes house spending.

Can you please break down the money.Because sometimes,we women aggregate things more.There could be a problem but I wanted to understand the problem more clearly.

 

Invest all the extra cash in hand , never leave it lying around in ur bank or urself. this only forces u to spend !!

 

Agree..I guess 10K-20K every months is not the real number specially when you are booking train tickets. Does they travel every month (expecting since you BIL-Co sis work how they get leaves).

I may differ from every one but I do not see any issue on DH booking tickets for them. Honestly if your BIL Co-sis works m it's difficult to travel every month and 10-20 K is ticket cost for 4 then it means distance should be minimum 24 hrs for 2nd AC.

And there can be another side why your BIL doesn't book ticket- do they have internet connection in home (which is must for Tatkal). My elder brother doesn't have good internet at home, so whenever he need ticket me and my other brother try to book. We do this from US and he from India. Even I book ticket for my other brother (again because we get good speed here) and my SIL's family. for both of them travel time is 24 hrs and 50 hrs but I never saw total cost more than 10K (and it's once in 3-4 months)

 

Oh c'mon...that excuse can't be used in this age and time.He is on facebook.Every phone has facility for internet connection.He is just too cheap asking his brother to pay for his wife's and his travel.

 

Not every...none in my family have smart phone except me. Also booking tatkal in phone is dream come true. Again, I don't think if it cheap to ask your family to book ticket (but also depends on your relationship) given that definition of family not only DH, DW. For me it's my parents, siblings, my DH's parents and siblings.

 

Why should one person have to pay for everyone?The poor brother is already paying for his sister's marriage,which his parents should have catered for.Do you think it is fine for an employed couple to pile on with parents and always get free tickets? It would be fine if they at least payed for there ticket .

This only ends up spoiling relations.If one person feels exploited...then it is not fair.