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Stressed because of Money Minded In-laws family = Need urgent Suggestion

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Rimjhim1486, Aug 28, 2014.

  1. Rimjhim1486

    Rimjhim1486 Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear All,

    Hope you all are good.
    I wanted to post my this issue since very long but did not post it for some or the other reason.

    About my in laws family My husband is the elder son, then BIL, 2 Younger SIL and MIL/PIL. 1 SIL is married.
    Me and my husband both are working professional. My problem is I some what feel my BIL and MIL is very cleaver in terms of money. When ever my MIL/PIL and BIL and his wife travel any where they told my husband to book their tickets through IRCTC. My BIL is very well know with computer, FB etc. but he is not good in booking ticketss god knows how much lies in this.

    Every times my MIL tells my husband to book this ticket and that ticket they go here and there and that too only in 2nd AC. I always fight my husband as My husband already having loan for his sisters marriage/his own marriage and car Loan. I am pregnant so I also want to save some money for my delivery but my in-laws dont understand this. every time he book the ticket and I fight with him badly we ended up doing fights and nothing else. Nothing is going to be change and I am really pissed off with all this rubbish. My BIL and his wife is in government service so they are also earning good money.

    Please suggest how can I ignore this or How can i get out of this problem because every month my husband is spending 10k to 20k on all this. my health is getting effected because of this.

    Awaiting for your reply.
     
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  2. han412

    han412 Gold IL'ite

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    OP I don't think there is anything you can do here if your husband is not willing to listen to you. You have mentioned in your post that you have had several fights because of this.
    So now its upto you either you mull over this and spoil your health or think that God has given me everything or if not he will give me everything I want and ignore this.
    Alternately you can buy a property or something else and put his complete salary into paying EMI etc. You will be happy and husband will be stressed because of money matters also he wont have any extra money to buy tickets.
     
    Last edited: Aug 28, 2014
    1 person likes this.
  3. persecutedDIL

    persecutedDIL Gold IL'ite

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    How frequently do they travel ? Please don't grudge your money being spent on the PILs' genuine travel. What you can grudge is the money being spent by you and DH on the BIL and his wife. Learn internet ticket booking yourself and book tickets only for your PILs. If not, act like a dumb woman and ask your DH or your PILs - Why don't BIL and co-sis book the tickets ? Did they lose their job ? Ask this stupidly with concern a couple of times for your PILs or DH to register this.

    Also, this logic does not sound credible - that BIL is good with computers but can't book online on IRCTC.
     
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  4. Denni

    Denni Gold IL'ite

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    If your husband thinks its ok to spend 10-20k on his family....why don't you ask him to contribute 10-15k for his own family's savings? After all you are going have a baby and expenses will double up after this.

    Its his family and I think he know he is being used and taken advantage of, so why don't you play a smart game here and ask him to spare some money for your growing family. Soon he will come to a point where he need to choose and I hope his own family will comes first. His brother is married and his travel expenses with his wife are not your husbands responsibility. You and your baby are his responsibility.
     
    Last edited: Aug 28, 2014
  5. AnithaAnand18

    AnithaAnand18 Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi,

    Don't worry.This kind of problem is a common for all joint families.Being elder of the family,you cant blame your husband not to spend for his brother.First stop fighting with him and don't spoil your health.Plan for investments like home loan,reoccurring deposit and insurance.Every women have this problem (including me) and we cant make our husbands to understand due to emotional bond.keep on sharing your plans about your kid daily.
    Hope he will understand one day and have happy life with him,don't be stresssed
     
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  6. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Start a Systematic investment plan for 10,000 rs per month for your child .Tell your husband this has to be done.Show him how much higher education costs.Let your inlaws know you are making investments for your child's future.

    or Invest in a small property which will leave very little in hand .

    Your bil and his wife are shameless.They will not learn...next time tell them,while ils tickets are fine...they should pay you for the tickets.Or better still...just book your in- laws tickets onl;y and ask bil to give his credit card number.
     
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  7. Rimjhim1486

    Rimjhim1486 Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi Han,

    Thanks for your prompt reply.
    I tried for the property wala idea but my husband said his 1 SIL's marriage is pending so he has to save money for her and he doesnt have down payment to make for any property. I am really unable to avoid this situation even now I am in office and today also my husband has booked the ticket so I am sure will have a BIG time fight today it self for the same reason.
     
  8. padmaja909

    padmaja909 Platinum IL'ite

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    your BIL is taking advantage of your husband's softness. I think you should convince him to share the ticket expenses. Being the elder one doesnt mean only one should bear all burdens. The burdens of the family must be equally shared by all members for a happy family.
    ps: congratulations on your pregnancy and have a happy pregnancy and a safe delivery. take care of your health and enjoy your time.
     
  9. Rimjhim1486

    Rimjhim1486 Bronze IL'ite

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    Thanks so much Anitha,

    I am trying to avoid this situation because this is the only point on which we fight or else My husband and me dnt have any problem. He is very good, he loves me alot but when ever it comes to spending money and ticket booking every month I feel very bad for him that is why I fight with him. Many a times I tried to make him understand with Love but that time he said ok will take care but at the last he is unable to say NO to his parents.
    1 more thing I am ok if he books ticket in Non tatkal quota and in 3rd AC so this way the charges will lil reduce but my MIl is a BIG drama queen, when ever we booked it in advance on the travelling day she has Chakkar aana, Ji ghabarana and headache, stomach pain and all ....
     
  10. Rimjhim1486

    Rimjhim1486 Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi Yellow mango. Thanks

    I have started taking 20k from my husband before 2months and use to make fix deposit, but that time My MIL called and told him to buy some gifts for my SIL kids and for her family so he need money that time, I was also fine with that so I helped my husband with some money, then my husband has to pay the money to Jeevansathi for his younger sister.
    He didnt have money at the end of the month so he asked me for help and I cant say know to him bcz he doesnt spend a singal penny for his expenditure.
     

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