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Stressed All The Time

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by Barbie2013, Oct 27, 2020.

  1. Barbie2013

    Barbie2013 Silver IL'ite

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    Hi ,
    My kid is 4 months old. My parents were there with me till last month and also throughout my pregnancy period. They left to hometown 20 days back and since then I am managing household chores single handed. Due to c section I am having very severe backpain . Still I am being quite hard to myself and completing all the work . My husband is supportive but he got loads of work to do in office. I am almost in pain everyday not sure when I can recover. Due to stress and also due to postdelivery harmonal changes I am having severe hairloss. I want to communicate what's going in my mind to my dearones. But husband busy with work . I feel so lonely all the time . He spends a lot of time for me and kid inspite of having lot of work . Still I am expecting more quality time with him. I am feeling weak all the time and restless . Kid does not sleep till 2 am so I need to be up in the night and wake-up at 6 am . Please suggest how to handle kid in a better way and make him sleep little early atleast by 11pm so that everything falls in place
     
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  2. ProudIndian

    ProudIndian Gold IL'ite

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    Keep long breathing every moment. Think this is very temprory phase and your baby is growing very fast. This is tough time for all moms. Don’t expect much from anyone. See if you can hire help or get food from outside or anything which will lower your burden. Try to make babies routine good.only first year is difficult for all new mothers. Don’t do anything unnecessary like complicated cooking or cleaning. U can get help for cleaning even if u r in USA. Plan simple meals. When baby sleeps u also sleep. If u can’t sleep at least lie down and focus on breathing. Don’t think anything unnecessary. Our mind is like wild horse running unnecessarily and making us exhausted. Your physical tiredness will be less if u think less.
     
    Thyagarajan likes this.
  3. NOW

    NOW Bronze IL'ite

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    1. Eat easy breakfast items that do not require cooking, do bulk cooking in weekends with husband helping on chopping veggies or even better, buy food from someone near if they are selling fresh home made food.

    2. Make a list of all the household chores and tasks you are doing currently and make a decision to only top 3 things that are absolutely must. Do not do anything on daily basis except light cooking and/or dishes. use dishwasher if you have or disposable plates and cups for few weeks.

    2. Ask for your husband's help or hire someone from outside for vacuuming, mopping, cleaning etc.. If you cannot due to COVID then set expectations to do absolute minimum with husband's help.

    3. Do not fold laundry but maintain separate bins for everyone.

    4. SLEEP WHEN THE BABY SLEEPS ALL THE TIME. I cannot stress this enough.

    5. Go for walks 2 times a day at-least 20 mins at a time.

    6. Try to squeeze in 30 mins of time with husband when baby is sleeping.

    Do not think you are in pain and you are alone. Just think of this as a phase where you are testing your strength and limits. If you sleep at-least 8+ hours and go for walks you will feel better physically. Try to talk to friends and family who will encourage you and watch or read something that you like if you can. Even better watch youtube videos of new moms posting their daily routine and see how happy and proud they are to take care of themselves and their baby independently. If you have severe pain or signs of depression reach out to your doctor and do not neglect.

    Hugs to you and just remember you will look back and will feel proud and even blessed to experience this difficult phase in your life.
     
  4. abc00

    abc00 Gold IL'ite

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    @Barbie2013 chant hanuman chalisa for mental strength. Do not forget your prayers. One tip : Dont try to be happy....but be happy infact. I hope you understand this difference.
     
    Barbie2013 likes this.
  5. Caughtinbetween

    Caughtinbetween Gold IL'ite

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    @Barbie2013 this first year of the baby is both tiring and exciting at the same time .
    Take every opportunity to reduce your work load.
    What I did and continue to do even after 2.5 yrs is :
    1: get food from outside whenever you can , whatever you can .our local indian store sold freshly made rotis by order.
    while getting indian food for takeout i would get extra curry for next lunch/dinner with rice/roti.
    2: once in 3-4 days prepare a big batch of soup in IP / roast a big batch of veggies for sides in the oven
    3: prepare a batch of frozen berries smoothie with almond/soy/coconut milk
    4: keep fruits/nuts/granola/healthy baked chips , snap peas etc.
    5; have your and baby's clothes in different to-be-washed bins and after the load is done i have an extra bed thats used to dump this load on it separately / getting different bins is better though.
    6: use good quality disposables whenever you can to reduce dishes
    7: keep away a lot of pots and pans out of reach . only keep very few pots for everyday use maybe 2-3 . i have noticed that if there are many pots on the shelf my H would liberally take out everything to use and then i would have a stack of dishes to do . it helps to have only a few in front of him to use carefully.
    8 : except the carpet on which my kid mostly plays on nothing is cleaned everyday ... only need by basis .
    9: i have back pain even now from my c-sec , what helps me is to take as many breaks as needed while doing anything . dont go into the kitchen aiming to finish everything at one go . instead spend 10-15 or less at one go and do what you can before coming out to rest .
    Dont push yourself for anything . Take rest and a lot of pictures . Watch what you like . infact now i notice when i look back at the pictures and videos of my baby when she was younger than 1 was my favorite comedy constantly playing on the tv in the background. Also use that c-sec belt if it helps you with the back pain. take care.
     
    Rihana likes this.
  6. Barbie2013

    Barbie2013 Silver IL'ite

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    Thankyou for valuable suggestions
     
  7. Barbie2013

    Barbie2013 Silver IL'ite

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    Thankyou for valuable suggestions
     
  8. dharmastick

    dharmastick New IL'ite

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    Take a Mommy time out, ask your husband to give you 10 minutes to decompress. Listen to relaxing music or plant a picture in your mind of a soothing place. Deep abdominal breathing, meditation, and prayer are proven to help moderate stress and help the body relax.
     

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