Sparing or almost no sex for 5.5 yrs with my DH

Thanks DaisyMom,i appreciate your effort to concerntrate on the thread.

 

Also I am thinking should I pen down the points here and in my docs which cameup regarding each other in last discussion with my DH.My DH always turns away saying he doesnt remember anything like that happened before....He is a true liar ....Like when my MIL said I will throw you out of the house by pulling your hairs if you talk like this to my son in front of me ,when Initially(after marriage) I had a small argument with my DH on what veges will be good for guests.

 

that sounds like a good idea...

i had actually suggested the vacation idea because i think after such long monotony , u need to have some time together. i still think u shud drop ur baby at u parents or with ILs.

whatever the reason be that has made ur DH smell the coffee, its always nice to be with ur partner without the trouble of phone calls (lock those cell phones away) or the distraction of internet or TV.

i usually go on a 15 day vacation with DH every year (we have an awesome marriage of 4+ years. touchwood ) ... nothing too expensive. just being together... and it works like a magic.

the togetherness will lead to more intimacy without it being deliberate.

plz do give it a serious thought. and at the same time, i think u shudnt worry too much about the seduction part. as i said, when u two are together, things will fall into place. just make sure u dont carry the emotional baggage with u... treat it as a fresh start. :thumbsup

 

I am seriously looking for good friends thru this forum...Life has not been so generous , atleast I will cherish good friends for life thru this..

 

Ok one final time I'll state this and leave it to you guys.
This superficial treatments will only work for a temporary solution. Intimacy is not the concern here. Dont push on that, let it take its time. Once the real issues are worked out, that'll happen.

Focusing on the intimacy is putting the cart before the horse. It may still run for a while, but will run out of gas sooner or later. The real issues are critical. I am still not convinced if your DH is really in this for YOU and because he LOVES you? It seems to be half-hearted.

It looks like he is being forced. Some ultimatum has been given to him, and his hands have been forced or half-hearted attempts.

But you know your situation best.

 

u have been raising a very valid point, but if you read the Original post, u will notice that -

they had a love marriage

her DH has been refraining from sex from the very beginning. it started right after wedding, getting worse over the time. i dont think someone can fall out of love in just a few days and still hang on to the relationship for almost 6 years. if he really didnt love her from day 1, i dont think he wud have stuck to the marriage, considering the fact that his mother wants him to get a divorce. so no family pressure to stick to OP either.

some people are just not interested in intercourse and they get off better on other forms of stimulation. but where does it leave the OP?

so in my own opinion (i can be totally wrong), i think sex is no exactly the backburner point here. it has the manifestation of 6 years in it and needs to be addressed.

OP can share about what exactly she talked to her DH regarding the topic. it may help up understand better... but i dont feel like asking a direct qs.

waiting for an update

 

I will writeup on what I have spoken..I am just trying to get time out of my packing for the trip.I will surely respond on Monday.
But just one immediate out pour of my feelings.
I feel that DH has done 3/4 heartedly now ...
and also he went in for self satisfying act as per him but during for almost 6 yrs , he blamed me and my atitude for him to stay ways from him, but now he says that he needed some sought of drastic event to come out this habit of his.But I find it a failing argument as then why did he blamed it on me , he is well aware I will be in misery in that case.

 

forget about us! go enjoy the vacation! get away from the computer already!!!

have fun!

Hugs!

 

Actually my DH doesnt let out his real stuff inside him.As he has always been saying that it is my attitude that is why he doesnt want to come , When I asked him that time he said that is it and he is being true and It is upto me if I want to beleive or not.

Now 2 months ago he admitted it is his addiction or habit of masturbation and not me it was only initially like that .Now again he said that is it and he is being true and It is upto me if I want to believe or not.

Infact I am also trying to get the crux and core truth from him.

OR

it is simply that he is one of the real stupid and crack, tied to mother's aprons with all the crap revolving that his mother has imbibed in him since ages and with external IT office world , he has learned manner but not enough to apply it in home , still has been behaving like a real b...t..d.And still doesnt want to give way his shell and silent treatment in some or the other form he wishes to have.

 

will repost later with better explanation