Sorry ! I had to post here , please understand ladies. Thanks for the suggestions !

i and my husband loved each other and married . I live in US in h4 visa. Its been 3 years almost and we have a one year old baby . Lately , i came to know that my husband has $40k debts . He didn't tell me about his debts . My husband secretly called my dad and my dad's brother and ask for help in clearinb his debts . Asked them
Not to inform this to me . They helped and never told me anything . But my husband asked someone in my family again and then with all these , my dad told me what all happend . I was totally upset and asked my husband and he did not give any good answer . He said that he kept it as a secret because i would get hurt . Days passed by (15 days may be )and he told me that he stillhas $8k debt. I don't know what he is doing all that . His family says that he cleared all his student loans and his parent's house loan . Prior to this , i complained about his drinking habit to my sis-in-law . He stopped drinking from then but everyday he says that he lost his freedom because of me .
After this debts issue , we have been quarreling everyday for some or the other reason . He is coming home very late . By 2 AM sometimes . He doesn't talk anything even after coming home .i will be home all day with my baby . He doesnt even take me out during weekends . He doesnt talk or play with the baby , that the baby cries if his dad holds him one day ,.my husband used some rude words like whore and bitch etc while we are arguing . I called my dad and said that w are fighting everyday . He asked me to come to india for a break. Its been 1 month since this happened . My dad is ready to take tickets for me and my baby . But my husband isnt allowing me to do that . He postpones the trip by saying visa issues or something . TOday we quarralled again and with all the anger, i said i may need to proceed legally when he said he wont give my passport and he wont give me the baby .
He said that he will make my life miserable infront of all the people i know ! We stopped the conversation . He is not that kinda person who doesnt give passport and wants to harass the wife . He is not that kinda person who just takes money from father innlaw and never pays back .we are not a good relationship . Using all those stupid words and made our relationship worser . My husband is not at all eating food at home because of all these . We tried making our relationship work , like more than thousand times but nothing worked . With all the conversations happend , i don't know if i can ever be happy with him . I lost my feelings for him . What do you think i should do ? I cannog divorse and live seperately , i don't want my baby to face all the situations because of our divorse . He is treating me as dependent sometimes . Even i ssk him about his debts , he says its none of my business because he is the one who earns and i can do nothing even if he tells me his problems . Please help
Sometimes i feel like i should suicide

 

Re: Sorry ! I had to post here , please understand ladies. Thanks for the suggestions

Thanks for the reply . My husband is very egoistic . He doesn't actually understand what the other person is tryinb to say . I feels he is a great person with unique character . I really wanted him to know the value of family but he never tries to understand . What should i do ?
His family doesn't actually care about me or my baby . My parents agreed for our marriage only because i love him , so i cannot tell them abiut each and everything that happened here ! help me . Is he gonna change ?!

 

Re: Sorry ! I had to post here , please understand ladies. Thanks for the suggestions

We talked many times but he loves me that day and behaves the same from the next . He never agrees his mistakes

 

Re: Sorry ! I had to post here , please understand ladies. Thanks for the suggestions

There is no other way i could find what he is doing, i 'm a stay home mom and in dependent visa . I know i should not stress him after coming home , but things are not good . I know its my fault to keep bugging him at work and also at home . I know he must be soo stressed and speak words he doesnt even mean heartfully ! Husband should tell his wife about all his debts and income.he is not doing that . It hurts his ego to tell me everything .are men like that in nature ? I want a loving husband . But it feels awkward to talk to him with love after all these stupid conversations we had !

 

Re: Sorry ! I had to post here , please understand ladies. Thanks for the suggestions

Even he said the same . He wants me to get a job and help him
In clear his debts . Why should i do that if I don't know the reason for his debts . He wont tell me clearly . He will change the reasons whenever i ask him .

 

Re: Sorry ! I had to post here , please understand ladies. Thanks for the suggestions

What do you tell about he speaking rude words to me and doesnt give me my baby if i wanted to travel india ?

 

Re: Sorry ! I had to post here , please understand ladies. Thanks for the suggestions

How can we both forget all the rude words we used for each other ? A few words are hurting even now . This isn't the same person i loved i don't have any feelings for him , now ! Do you think i should tell everything to my parents ? Thay cannot be reversed even if my husnand and me are together after a few years or months

 

Re: Sorry ! I had to post here , please understand ladies. Thanks for the suggestions

How should i forget what all happened ? Also , isn't that called cheating , taking money from my parents without my knowledge ?