Some wacky definitions

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by ArunaRSanthosh, Jul 8, 2011.

  1. ArunaRSanthosh

    ArunaRSanthosh Platinum IL'ite

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    School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.

    Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

    Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

    Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

    Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.

    Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"

    Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

    Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece

    Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.

    Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

    Father: A banker provided by nature.

    Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

    Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

    Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

    Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.

    Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

    Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

    Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

    Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

    Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

    Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death

    Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

    Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

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