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Some management lessons

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by Tamildownunder, Feb 22, 2007.

  1. Tamildownunder

    Tamildownunder Bronze IL'ite

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    This thread is in good humour and no offense meant

    Lesson 1:
    A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking
    to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a
    Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one
    wish."
    "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the
    Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."
    Puff! She's gone.
    "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii,
    relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply
    of Pina Coladas and the love of my life."
    Puff! He's gone.
    "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.
    The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."


    Moral of the story:
    Always let your boss have the first say.

    Lesson 2
    An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small
    rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do
    nothing?" The eagle answered: "Sure , why not."
    So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of
    a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.


    Moral of the story:
    To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very
    high up.

    Lesson 5
    A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get
    to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the
    energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?"
    replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked
    at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength
    to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating
    some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a
    fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the
    tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the
    tree.


    Moral of the story:
    ******** might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.


    Lesson 6
    A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold the
    bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was
    lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the
    frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize
    how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay
    there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing
    cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the
    sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and
    promptly dug him out and ate him.


    Morals of the story:
    (1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

    (2) Not everyone who gets you out of **** is your friend.

    (3) And when you're in deep ****, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
     
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