Five doctors went duck hunting one day. Included in the group were a GP, a pediatrician, a psychiatrist, a surgeon and a pathologist. After a time, a bird came winging overhead. The first to react was the GP who raised his shotgun, but then hesitated. 'I'm not quite sure it's a duck,' he said, 'I think that I will have to get a second opinion.' And of course by that time, the bird was long gone. Another bird appeared in the sky thereafter. This time, the pediatrician drew a bead on it. He too, however, was unsure if it was really a duck in his sights and besides, it might have babies. 'I'll have to do some more investigations,' he muttered, as the creature made good its escape. Next to spy a bird flying was the sharp-eyed psychiatrist. Shotgun shouldered, he was more certain of his intended prey's identity. 'Now, I know it's a duck, but does it know it's a duck?' The fortunate bird disappeared while the fellow wrestled with this dilemma. Finally, a fourth fowl sped past and this time the surgeon's weapon pointed skywards. BOOM!! The surgeon lowered his smoking gun and turned nonchalantly to the pathologist beside him. 'Go see if that was a duck, will you?' -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A busload of politicians were driving down a country road, when suddenly the bus ran off the road and crashed into an old farmer's barn. The old farmer got off his tractor and went to investigate. Soon he dug a hole and buried the politicians. A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus and asked the old farmer where all the politicians had gone. The old farmer told him he had buried them. The sheriff asked the old farmer, 'Lordy, were they ALL dead?' The old farmer said, 'Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them crooked politicians lie.' ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A grad student, a post-doc, and a professor are walking through a city park and they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The genie says, 'I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one.' 'Me first! Me first!' says the grad student. 'I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat with a gorgeous woman who sunbathes topless.' Poof! He's gone. 'Me next! Me next!' says the post-doc. 'I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with a professional hula dancer on one side and a Mai Tai on the other.' Poof! He's gone. 'You're next,' the genie says to the professor. The professor says, 'I want those guys back in the lab after lunch.' -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A statistician refuses to fly after reading the alarmingly high probability that there will be a bomb on any given plane. Later hefinds that the probability of there being two bombs on any given flight is very low. Now whenever he flies, he always carries one bomb with him.
