1. Have an Interesting Snippet to Share : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Some Funny Lines

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Kamalji, May 12, 2008.

  1. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    13,153
    Likes Received:
    5,813
    Trophy Points:
    545
    Gender:
    Male
    Some Funny Lines


    The May 2008 issue of Readers Digest has on page 68, an article on Funny Lines of the sayings of assorted people.Some are damn good.Kindly read it just for this article.I will quote a few, and give my take on it my way.So here goes.


    1) I know a High School that stopped accepting donations.But their application from now costs Rs. 25,000/- ( Manohar Sapre)

    Though said in jest, the schools will catch u this way or that.A new school some years back in Jaipur, told one parent that we don’t accept donations, but if were kind enough to give the school some Water Coolers for the kids to drink cold water, that would be kind of you.well they cost 50,000/- He gave in.Smart Schools.


    2) What I need is to find a woman who loves me for my money, but dosnt understand maths ( Mike Birbiglia)

    Heather Mills loved Paul McCartney’s money, but she knew maths very well.She got away with 25 million pounds recently.And even after divorce, Paul wanted to take his daughter from her for a concert to America, so he told his ex wife too to come, and u know what, she has demanded a separate private jet to take her there and her daughter, to which he has agreed.


    I don’t know if the women understand maths, but their lawyers sure do.Well I am lucky.My wife is a bit weak in maths.


    3) Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says “ You are interested in one thing only” and you cant remember what that is ( Demetri Martin)

    Wife tells me the same thing.But I remember it every night without fail.How can I sleep without my quota of whiskey ! So my marriage is not in trouble.she is very sweet .


    4) The problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time ( Robin Williams)


    Well I agree too.That is why when people do those horrible crimes like rapes and incest, they don’t seem to think with their brains, but with something else.Well said in humour.

    Robbin Williams I read yesterday, got divorced from his wife of many years, and he thanked her for not making the divorce messy.Strange coincidence really.


    5) You don’t get married to get sex.Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts ( Jeff Foxworthy).

    I agree really.That is why I wonder, why do so many brides return pregnant from their honeymoon.What has pregnancy go to do with honeymoon.Look at Paul McCartney.He had to pay 200 crores, for maybe 20 times of sex with his wife, that is 10 crores per time !
    And Mike Douglas married Catherina Zeta Jones, and she made him sign a prenuptial agreement,the most expensive in history.Shobha De calculated that one night of sex may cost Micheal more than 50 lakhs throughout his married life.Well Well.


    6) Kids at the back of a Car cause accidents, and Accidents in the back of the Car cause Kids.

    Well I see so may accidents on Worli Sea Face.At nights there used to be hundreds of Cars lined up there, and we friends used to go in our fiat Car in the Seventies to take a peek inside the Car.and yes we saw a lot of accidents at the back seat.And the Drive in in Bandra was better.The lousier the movie, the better the accidents in the Cars we could see.That was 1977 onwards, and today maybe some of those accidental kids may be bloggers here, for all u know.


    And there was this one I read a long time ago which said on the back of a Car

    “ If u don’t trust in God , try mine, he’s alive”


    I love Reader’s Digest and cant wait to get my hands on it.My all time favourite, always appealing to me, I speak for myself, wish an article of mine gets published there.But never mind u all are there for me,which is more than being published.


    Ciao.


    KAMAL MAHTANI

     
    Loading...

    Similar Threads
    1. Saideeps
      Replies:
      0
      Views:
      770
    2. smith21181
      Replies:
      1
      Views:
      828
    3. Reenae
      Replies:
      0
      Views:
      838
  2. BhargaviChakravarthy

    BhargaviChakravarthy Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    886
    Likes Received:
    29
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear kamal sir,
    I read and enjoyed especially the lines on school donations.

    BC
     
  3. Arunarc

    Arunarc Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    12,595
    Likes Received:
    2,781
    Trophy Points:
    445
    Gender:
    Female
    OOOooooooooo Kamalji a form costing Rs. 25,000/-??????????
    why do these guys want donation.......hahaha
    Wow still paying the divorced wife and listing to her demands.......great
    Poor Harshaji I really petty her she is such a gem......
    These are real news..............It is good ladies better know maths..........haha
    I too love to read Reader digest now 1 year passed I have no subscription here. Before I get the copy it is disappearing somewhere not getting them so have stopped...........hahaha
     
  4. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    13,153
    Likes Received:
    5,813
    Trophy Points:
    545
    Gender:
    Male

    Dear Bhargavi,

    HAHA.Yes all of them were funny in itself.Regards.kamal
     
  5. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    13,153
    Likes Received:
    5,813
    Trophy Points:
    545
    Gender:
    Male
    Dear Aruna,

    I am very good at maths u know ! Big LaughHarsha well , she dosnt have a dull moment with me around, what to do.REgards.kamal
     
  6. mithila kannan

    mithila kannan Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    3,400
    Likes Received:
    189
    Trophy Points:
    155
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear Kamalji,
    I laughed my heart out.And am going to bed with a light heart.Thank you ,my good friend,God bless you.
    mithila
     
  7. Rupi

    Rupi New IL'ite

    Messages:
    94
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    8
    Gender:
    Female
    Cool ones...
    Good to read something funny during morning hours....
     
  8. Mindian

    Mindian IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    6,330
    Likes Received:
    3,343
    Trophy Points:
    355
    Gender:
    Female
    dear kamalji,

    thank u for sharing these funny lines from readers digest and of course your comments on the same......enjoyed them.....yes RD is one of my favs too......now that u said it I am surprised how none of your articles have been published by RD ...anyway RD's loss is our gain....

    Mindi
     
  9. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    13,153
    Likes Received:
    5,813
    Trophy Points:
    545
    Gender:
    Male
    Dear Mithila,

    To make u laugh, is one hell of a great achievment for me.You are one hell of a blogger.

    And i see ILites are very kind to me these days.They take all the naughty stuff i dish out, and very sportingly they give their valuable comments and inputs.Thanks to all I lites.

    regards.kamal
     
  10. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    13,153
    Likes Received:
    5,813
    Trophy Points:
    545
    Gender:
    Male

    Dear Rupi,

    thanks.Regards.kamal
     

Share This Page