<TABLE width="95%" border=0>[font=Comic Sans MS, Arial]Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important. Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches. All men hate to hear "We need to talk about our relationship." These seven words strike fear in the heart of even General Schwartzkopf. Men are sensitive in strange ways If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally. Men have an easier time buying bathing suits, Women have two types: depressing and more depressing Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy. Most men hate to shop That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door. [/font] [font=Comic Sans MS, Arial]If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious. When four or more men get together, they talk about sports. When four or more women get together, they talk about men. Most women are introspective: "Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled?" Most men are outrospective: "Did my team win? How's my car?" If a man says, "I'll call you," and he doesn't, he didn't forget.. he didn't lose your number.. he didn't die. He just didn't want to call you. Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super- heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie. Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports They've already forgotten what happened. [/font] Women like to have the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.