1. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  2. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

Smile :)

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by Mistt, Feb 22, 2017.

  1. Mistt

    Mistt IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    1,428
    Likes Received:
    4,849
    Trophy Points:
    335
    Gender:
    Female
    Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am ?

    Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.
     
    kkrish likes this.
  2. Mistt

    Mistt IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    1,428
    Likes Received:
    4,849
    Trophy Points:
    335
    Gender:
    Female
    Harry and Lloyd were speeding down the road. A police car pulled them over.

    You were going eighty!, the officer yelled.

    Why on earth were you driving so fast?

    We have a good reason, Lloyd explained to the cop.

    Our brakes are no good-so we wanted to get there before we had an accident!.
     
    kkrish likes this.
  3. Mistt

    Mistt IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    1,428
    Likes Received:
    4,849
    Trophy Points:
    335
    Gender:
    Female
    I got this joke through WhatsApp and just posting for fun. No offense!

    IMG-20200329-WA0006.jpg
     
  4. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    5,070
    Likes Received:
    5,494
    Trophy Points:
    445
    Gender:
    Male
    In such a relaxed fashion, quite an interesting real rendezvous for gossip. But alas ladies living in an independent house with no subtenant or co tenant can’t enjoy such amusements.
    LOL.
    Thanks and Regards.
     
    Mistt likes this.
  5. Mistt

    Mistt IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    1,428
    Likes Received:
    4,849
    Trophy Points:
    335
    Gender:
    Female
    *Conversation in an elevator:*

    "Hey, John, Women can't fool us about their looks, now that all beauty salons are closed."

    "I'm not John you idiot! I'm your neighbour Lisa!"
     
    kkrish likes this.
  6. Rihana

    Rihana Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    10,004
    Likes Received:
    24,800
    Trophy Points:
    540
    Gender:
    Female
    An old favorite of mine. A bit long, but funny.

    Passengers on a small plane are waiting for the flight to leave. They're getting a little impatient, but the airport staff assures them the pilots will be there soon, and the flight can take off.

    The entrance opens, two men dressed in Pilots' uniforms walk up the aisle. Both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a guide dog, and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a cane.

    Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up. The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming.

    The plane moves faster and faster down the runway, and the people sitting in the window seats realize they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport territory. As it begins to look as though the plane will plow into the water, panicked screams fill the cabin.

    At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon all retreat into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands.

    In the cockpit, one blind pilot turns to the other and says, "You know, Joe, one of these days, they're gonna scream too late and we're all gonna die."
     
    KashmirFlower, kkrish and Mistt like this.
  7. Mistt

    Mistt IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    1,428
    Likes Received:
    4,849
    Trophy Points:
    335
    Gender:
    Female
    Work from home scenario:

    Wife: How many whistle the cooker did?

    Husband: Eh?? Two... three...! I don't know

    Manager (on zoom): Three! I heard three!
     
  8. vidhyalakshmid

    vidhyalakshmid Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,069
    Likes Received:
    935
    Trophy Points:
    215
    Gender:
    Female
    My home scenario
    Husband - Have you done with the cooker? My meeting to going to start.
    Wife - When will you leave to the office. Waiting for the awesome day.
     
    shravs3, KashmirFlower and Mistt like this.
  9. Mistt

    Mistt IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    1,428
    Likes Received:
    4,849
    Trophy Points:
    335
    Gender:
    Female
    I'm grateful to anything/anyone who/ which makes me smile in this awful situation.


    *Teacher:* What is the opposite of Valentine?.

    *Student:* Quarantine.

    *Teacher* : How?.

    *Student::* Because in Valentine two people sit very close to each other and in Quarantine very far from each other.

    Teacher is still unconscious
     
    vidhyalakshmid and KashmirFlower like this.
  10. Mistt

    Mistt IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    1,428
    Likes Received:
    4,849
    Trophy Points:
    335
    Gender:
    Female
    I had started to read this with little worry but I laughed at the end .:tearsofjoy:


    BE CAREFUL IN SUPERMARKETS!!!

    My wife and I went to grocery.
    Of course, we had full face masks and goggles to be safe.
    When we got there, there are still too many people. Scary !
    I decided, and I pulled my wife to go home cos we might even catch CoVid there...
    But, contradicting me, she wanted to let go and doesn't want to go home!
    Oh my goodness! I really dragged her back to the car.
    In the car, she was fighting ignores me and was extremely angry...
    When we arrived home, when we remove face mask... She WAS NOT My wife....

    BE CAREFUL.
    SAFER@HOME....
     
    Last edited: Apr 15, 2020
    shravs3 likes this.

Share This Page