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Slightly Dumb Question For Ilites Living In India (or Who Visit Often)

Discussion in 'Community Chit-Chat' started by Nylaa, Jan 10, 2018.

  1. Nylaa

    Nylaa Silver IL'ite

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    I have a slightly dumb question for ladies who live in India. It's actually a couple of questions. In your opinion, do you think skin color (i.e. "fairness) is still a thing people look at (when judging attractiveness) like it was in the past? Also, do you think such judgement applies to both men and women?

    I started thinking about this recently because of a rather idiotic dumb exchange with some relatives (who are currently visiting from India) at a family function. In a nutshell, on the few occasions that we've seen them, they always seem to fuss over my husband (on account of color). My aunt speaks wayyyy more positively of him than of her own son-in-law (who is actually hosting them on this visit and always hosts them and has helped them in alot of ways). It seems sort odd to me because, growing up, color was never really a thing with our immediate friends and family. When my older cousins got engaged and married, I don't recall anyone ever mentioning appearance, period. In addition to that, I always thought the color thing was more of a thing with women. These are older relatives, so I don't particularly judge them for their thinking but I'm curious about other people's observations on the subject.
     
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  2. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

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    Nylaa,

    People in India (there may be few exceptions) are tooooooo color conscious and everyone wants a fairer spouse/child. Being comparatively fair, at least in your community, matters a lot and it carries a premium over most other qualities!!!!!!

    Once a friend of mine overheard a father asking his child, do you want a south Indian like Pepsi or a north Indian like sprite??? Lol!
     
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  3. MonikaSG

    MonikaSG Platinum IL'ite

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    In India we have the judgement skills more than a supreme court judge. Anyone can pass any judgement about anybody's behaviour character looks color etc in just one look and feel proud of our experience of judging people.
     
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  4. fourthaugust

    fourthaugust Gold IL'ite

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    This consciousness for colour is more common in our parents generation.
    in our generation , I don't find people being that conscious. At least I haven't personally found someone of my age commenting on other's colour. I think people have outgrown their love for fair colour otherwise dusky beauties like dipika padukon, priyanka Chopra would not be ruling over box office. Well this is based on my limited experience.
     
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  5. Sandycandy

    Sandycandy IL Hall of Fame

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    Sad reality ! And this mindset exists even today! we have such pretty women with beautiful skin tones ( nandita das, Namrata shirodkar, etc etc) but we prefer the gori girls !
     
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  6. Nylaa

    Nylaa Silver IL'ite

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    See, that is what I don't understand. How can people value that over other, more important things?

    Oh my word, that's awful. How can a parent can encourage their children to be so superficial? *Shakes my head*

    I don't necessarily think that judgement is a bad thing. After all, some judgement is necessary in order to make decisions and navigate our way through life. I think it depends on what one is judging in particular. Basing judgement on superficial aspects, such as the commentary with my relatives above, is what I find highly questionable and in bad taste.

    Yeah, I always thought it was mostly the older generation too. I've never heard anyone our age comment view color as a requirement for attractiveness when dating or anything like that.

    It is quite sad! You'd think that in 2018, this mindset would be a thing of the past.
     
    Last edited: Jan 10, 2018
  7. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

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    @Sandycandy

    Is it not sad that a beautiful woman like Nandita Das has been ridiculed many times over her color? Recently one more Bengali actress was roasted very badly on TV in the name of fun.

    Some years ago my husband and I were waiting for our turn in the doctor's waiting room. There were two elderly Sindhi men also waiting. We got chatting. Out of blues they told my hubby, "Your wife has fine features and she is beautiful but her colour is a bit dull!!!!!" Respecting their age, we had to roll our eyes and keep quiet!:sconf::oops:
     
  8. ashneys

    ashneys Platinum IL'ite

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    Yes, it still exists. It applies to both men n women. More prominent with the older generation than the current.

    That is why there are many effective / expensive whitening treatments that are getting popular more n more every day among the ones who can afford it, jus like the one actress kajol got. All because of the love for the white.

    Problem is, it's still looked as a superior color. Esp in a new daughter in law / son in law situation n all, I have seen a world of difference in their treatment or the way they talk about them, which is very sad really.

    N Just like any other topic, this stands divided too.
     
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  9. Sunburst

    Sunburst Platinum IL'ite

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    It is called racism and this is all over the world not just India. People are always judged by their skin colour whether its India, America or Europe.Only difference is racism is a bit subtle abroad whereas in India people comment right in your face.

    Just last month, there was a huge controversy over LA Times magazine cover , a jarringly "all white cover" featuring Jessica Chastain and only the white, blonde ladies of hollywood and not a single "woman of colour" on the cover page. I also don't understand why this term "woman of colour" should be used. Then there is LeBron james slamming the giant retailer H&M for their latest sweatshirt ridiculing African American people. There has always been discrimination and prejudices over color . This is the fact and I am not sure if it's ever going to change.
     
    Last edited: Jan 10, 2018
  10. Shreema86

    Shreema86 Platinum IL'ite

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    I think its universal this bias against dark skin. but in India this becomes a bigger issue because of our systems like arranged marriage where the bride and groom don't know each other and say yes or no based on few commonalities and physical appearance. Once you know a person well you don't care about their complexion , but if you have to make a life time commitment based on meeting a person just a few times you judge them based on what you see and there is a subconscious society ingrained bias Against dark skin.
    So complexion becomes a huge obsession for parents with daughters and the daughters catch that as well. I grew up in a small town and the one thing which every womans bathroom stand had was a tube of fair and lovely. housewives scrimped money for a weekly facial that would guarantee " fair glow" for a few days. I have seen girls with dark skin with poor self esteem, worried how much they will have to compromise in getting married . sadly obsession with marriage and obsession with fair skin has created this dangerous cocktail.
     
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