Sleeping Apart Since Having A Baby

I guessed that might have been the issue here... then I can tell you that there is no substitute for love. Your H may be just satisfied and does not think it necessary for the emotional connection. Then you should work on building the emotional connection, don't expect anything by moving next to him, do it by all means if you want, but don't it with expectations. And as previous poster pointed, for women it is about cuddling, hugs, getting attention, for men, it is about getting the job done. Before my kids, we used to sleep next to each other very close, after kids, it stopped. He even gets annoyed at the suggestion. We sleep far from each other on the same bed. Sometimes it bothered me but I have realized not to read much into it. You should infact watch an episode of "Friends" - an american comedy serial, where the man is not at all comfortable cuddling in the bed.

 

Your kid is old enough now so you should sleep together with hubby . Sleeping separately definitely shouldn't be a long term option as it will impact your married life but. Like I said you can always transition kid to a toddler bed and move it close to your bed.

You can always leave both your daughter and guilt at home with a nanny and go on a date night to add some more zing to your life . Make it a point to go regularly at least once in a few months or on special occasions. Soon your daughter will be going to a preschool so plenty of time for intimacy if both you can get wfh options

 

And sometimes when there is no problem we give birth to our own problems in our minds because we are often comparing everything about our life with others . Our kid, our husband, our ILs, our bank balance ,it just doesn't end !!

 

Hi, the reason I spoke about the gender equality is to explain to the op to take the initiative and make the changes she wants instead of waiting for the "man" to do it.

N I didn't think sex or straying was the issue, My understanding was that the op wanted to feel needed / desired by her dh n feel the warmth of sleeping next to her dh n wondering whether her dh has gotten too comfy sleeping alone. Thus the previous reply.

I know of a couple who doesn't spend a night apart. They say they just can't fall asleep without the other one. N they have two young kids too. They neither cuddle through out the night nor be intimate every night. It's as simple as, they like the warmth of their spouse on the same bed. N they are just like any other couple with all the loves n fights. For a couple like this, sleeping away is not about the lack of cuddles, sex or straying, Its just abt wanting / needing each other's company n wanted/ needed by the spouse.

 

Hi OP,

Did you try training your daughter to sleep by her own? let her have her own bed and sleep. Co-sleeping is notvery required when she is already 16 months! So I dont really get the whole point here? Intimacy with your husband is very important, so get back to your bed asap and train your daughter to sleep on her own. Good luck!