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Singing In The Pain

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Balajee, Jul 12, 2020.

  1. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    “The neighbors are complaining that our dogs are howling too much” said the DW giving me an accusing look “If it goes on they might complain to the SPCA accusing us of cruelty to the animals”

    “Okay but why are you looking at me as if I am responsible for it” I asked.

    “They are mistaking your bathroom singing for dog howls”.

    That hit me like a bazooka blast. “Rubbish in our house you can’t hear if you are in the living room and someone sings or speaks In the dining room. So how the hell do you expect the neighbors to hear me?” I asked with irritation.

    “Sound travels in a funny way here you know” You can’t here the guy in the next room but you can here the DIL in the house 100 meters away bad-mouthing her MIL on the telephone”

    True. From my bathroom, you can get a non-stop audio feed of what is happening in that house Because of that both me and the wife spend more time in the bathroom than necessary irritating each other. “Oh god are you still there” is a standard refrain in our house when it comes to the bathroom. (Times have changed unfortunately due to COVID 19. Probably because the MIL is confined to the house due to lockdown, we don’t here unprintables about her but both MIL and DIL have united bad mouthing everybody and everything under the sun including the Good God, Narendra Modi, and the Chinese).

    OH dear, I again got trapped in my usual habit of going off on a tangent, have I? I was talking about my singing in the bathroom. Actually , I suspect what provoked the neighbors” complaint was not my singing. After the recent demise of Ennio Morricone, Hollywood, and Italian film composer, I decided to pay tribute to him by vocalizing his theme for the movie The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly in my bathroom.

    That. you will admit does sound like a pack of dogs howling. or what Germans call Katzenjammer or cats creating a racket or simply din.

    “ If your voice had reached Ennio like it reached our neighbors, he would have turned violently in his grave, burst out of it, come all the way here, grabbed you by the neck and yelled “ZITTO STUPIDO!” (Shut up you idiot for the Italian challenged), said the wife.

    “Haw, what do you know about music. You are Aurangzeb in female clothing” I snorted.

    “What do I need to know ?” she asked angrily.

    “ Researchers have found that if you sing for at least 10 minutes your stress levels go down, your sinuses are cleared, your body posture improves and your lifespan increases” I said.

    “If your stress levels going down is inversely proportional to other people’s stress levels skyrocketing, do you expect them to put up with it? Have you no consideration for their lifespan?” the DW asked with a triumphant look of a chess player who had checkmated his/her opponent

    “Your singing brings in lot of pain to others. It is singing in the Pain like Singing in the Rain” she said mockingly. “Remember your voice should end where the other person’s ear begins”


    This is the problem. You see opinions on my singing are divided. Everyone other than me thinks I am godawful but I beg to differ. I inherited my bathroom singing talents from my dad Five minutes into belting out a number in the bathroom, my mother would violently bang the door telling him in a matter-of-fact voice that if he didn’t stop she would pack her bags and go to her mother’s place.

    Cacafonix of Asterix fame must have somehow kicked his genes into me and dad was the general opinion.


    Seriously, the attempts to muzzle us, bathroom singers, is a violation of our freedom of expression. It is the persecution of a vocal minority. I think like those suffering beatings from wives have formed an organization in India, bathroom singers should do so. Maybe we bathroom singers should also have our own set up that will draw the attention of the Supreme Court to our plight and maybe get a judgment that those who oppose our musical outpourings should buy earplugs. That would also turn earplug manufacture into a thriving industry generating a lot of employment giving a minor shot in the arm of the COVID 19 blighted economy.
     
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  2. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Finest Post Winner

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    Keep singing dear. You are doing a favor to the neighbors by entertaining them free.
     
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  3. ashima10

    ashima10 Platinum IL'ite

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    :) thank you for making me smile...throughout.
    you go Sir ! sing to your heart content ! get louder with each complain till it actually reaches Modi! ( your favorite )
     
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  4. Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    Dear Balajee,

    A classic Balajee post! Loved it.
    Hoenstly, I did not expect this at all and you had me in splits! Sound and its ways are indeed interesting - I have always wondered about our ability to hear somethings and not others and the way sound travels, the less said, better.

    Talk about self esteem and confidence! Kudos to you :) You must seriously be a good singer.

    I am no singer - bathroom or otherwise. I am not even a hummer. Don't know why! I do bring up a lot of songs while walking with DH but most of them are for the poetry, of course a lot of them involving nature. My dad would lose himself spitting out off tune Ghantasala/ANR songs but was always so deep in his enjoyment, sometimes with tears streaming down his face that no one ever stopped him what so ever and even then as far as I can tell, none of us, his children have acquired that habit. One thing we have though is that expressive nature!

    Well first thing, I don't want to be on the wrong side of your wife and secondly I do agree with her. As much as I hate to see such budding talent being thwarted, you do mention that sound does travel in interesting ways in your neighborhood - so, being that amazing singer do please take it a room where it can reach people who might enjoy it or at least pretend to, so that the art form of 'bathroom' singing :biggrin: survives and the budding talent continues to be so!

    On a serious note Balajee, not serious serious but you know what I mean, though I have no idea of your singing talent, I do truly appreciate your writing. This is a nice write up and quite enjoyed it. Don't stop singing!
     
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  5. jayasala42

    jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Balaji,
    Super fine snippet on your bathroom singing
    tremendouly humorous.Every one is a rockstar
    in the bath room whether he/she has a voice of
    M. S. or GNB.
    Many people sing in the bathroom without
    any embarassment.Bathroom has warm,small
    safe environment.When you relax,your brain
    releases dopamine, which gives a jumpstart.
    Singing, because of the breathing you put
    into it, gets more oxygen into the blood. .
    But the best thing about singing in the shower--
    The acoustics! You can't ask for a better sound
    system than a bathroom. Because bathroom
    tiles don't absorb sound, your voice bounces
    back and forth around the room before fading
    away. And because the shower is a small space,
    it boosts your voice and even adds a little bass,
    making your singing sound more powerful.
    The sound bouncing also gives your vocal
    styling a reverb effect, which makes your voice
    hang in the air longer and evens out variations
    in your singing.
    I have never heard that it is similar to howling of
    dogs.At the most I have heard comparing to the
    cry of ass.Devi Kalarathri , a form of Durga is
    seen on Donkey vahana on the 7th day of
    Navarathri.Crowned with a winnowing
    fan,holding a short broom, she looks very
    powerful. G. K. Chesterdon and Shakespeare
    have popularised donkeys in their literary works.
    In South India,we have mostly heard that seeing
    donkey is a bad omen but listening to its cries
    is very auspicious and referred to as kazhuthai
    kambodhi.
    I read in a book "on careful observation of a
    braying donkey( notwithstanding bad omen,the
    unique voice of the donkey is due to the fact
    that it makes noise while inhaling and exhaling
    while every one else including human beings
    make noise while exhaling only.From the arguments passed on between yourself and your wife ,I very much felt that your voice should have been comparable to braying of donkey and not howling of dogs so that it may be perceived as auspicious and a token of good omen.

    Human snoring on account of which many
    marriages have failed is like another form
    of braying like donkey.

    Don't worry about others' comments.Just substitute the dog by donkey.You will be the luckiest of all and you will be glorified as devoted to 'Sheetala Devi' with donkey vahana.
    All the best to your music and writings.
    jayasala42
     
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  6. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    Haha I am breathless after reading this. I didn't know there was so much in Bathroom singing. Jayasala ma'am you can do a PhD in bathroom singing!
     
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  7. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:
    With the way the statistics are reeled or daily by media in respect of affected nations including India, I think this wonderful idea to plug the ears as I have from genesis strong suspicion that COVID virus possible reaches throat lungs encounter ear drum pierced.
    A nice idea emerges from this statement for attempting to do away with spouse or MIL or both at a time. If half the country citizens read husbands commence singing in bathrooms, the Nation would be at peace perhaps.

    Jolly good humour entertains all class of readers - kudos to Sir @Balajee

    Thanks & Regards.
     
  8. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Balajee,

    I am a bhajan singer and my favorite place to practice bhajans is in the bathroom. As long as you are not practicing Opera which could break the glasses, you must be good to practice your singing in the bathroom. I remember reading in one of the (Cheeniya Sir's) snippets that he used to sing in the bathroom not because he wanted to practice but because his bathrooms in Triplicane didn't have a lock. It looks like some of us misunderstood that namasmarana is the best way to attain Nirvana (Self-realization).
     
    Last edited: Jul 14, 2020
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  9. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    Glad you call it singing, Hariji, many people have other opinions about the fruits of the labour of my vocal cords.
     
  10. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    Sabitha it is good that you have no idea of my singing talent. Otherwise, you might join those who differ from me over my singing talents. I see you have chosen to walk the middle path between me and my wife on my singing.Quite diplomatic.But remember even a bad bathroom singer can give a boost to the economy by promoting the manufacture of earplugs. Once it starts flourishing who knows? Designer earplugs might appear in the market. Like Corona has led to the manufacture of designer masks (One jeweller is making diamond studded masks) there could be golden earplugs like golden studs and earrings , studded with precious stones if require Of course there is this risk of chain snatchers morphing into ear snatchers.
     
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