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SIL's palmistry,astrology and zodiac madness driving me crazy..

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by simi12, Mar 30, 2010.

  1. simi12

    simi12 New IL'ite

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    I have this issue with my SIL.....brother's wife. Please suggest some advise.

    My SIL believes in astrology, palmistry, zodiac signs and their behavior and such things. It is not that I don't believe but I do not rely on those 100%. I consider human emotions and circumstances more than just dismissing a person's behavior on his/her zodiac sign.

    Whenever, my brother and SIL are here and we have some discussion and I try to put forth my viewpoint and if it is something they do not agree then I try to give more inputs and try to make them understand my viewpoint as well. I mean I have agreed to disagree so many times but that is when I have expressed my views 100%.

    In the middle of the conversation, so many times, my SIL just cuts in and says "Oh! I get it why you are pushing so hard your thought on this, because you are a libran and librans are very good at arguing".

    Or sometimes when my younger child who is 6yrs old throws a tantrum....she will be like "Yeah, she is a true Aries, I can say seeing her short temper".

    Or when I try to persuade my nephew (her son) for something she just butts in as has to say something like " NO! You cannot get it from him. If Leos make up their mind, then thats it, they do not budge for anyone".

    She even told me to keep watchful eye on my elder dd when she is in her teens or later because she is a scorpio and scorpios tend to have secret lives like secret affairs etc.

    I cannot just pen down how many times she brings in her palmistry, astrology in any thing we start even in casual chats.
    She saw my hand and said I had a love affair earlier. My hubby was right there and my brother too was there. I said NO! This time you are wrong. I did not. She says you see this line here, that says that you had.
    And also see the mole here on your face. All these are the indicators.
    Anyway, I could get away from this because my dh took it lightly. My brother also laughed it out. She got offended by this. I pleaded her in private not to talk like this. She says she told what she saw there.

    I talked to my brother too and he says just ignore her. She reads a lot on these subjects and gets carried away. I mean, she should also know her limits too....right?

    Every time, it will be like...you are like this because of this line, because of your zodiac blah blah blah.....

    I cannot escape this because they live close by and we meet frequently.
    Please suggest something.

    Oh! How could I forget this? Recently, she told me since my birth number is this and my MIL's is this so we can never get along. All this in front of my dh. I told her NO! We are fine. Though I don't have a relationship as a daughter but atleast I have it just as a DIL should have. It is cordial. I stressed much. But she said it can never be possible and I am just saying it for the sake of it.
    I told...OK then let it be. She went on to say that since hers and my moms numbers match so they are in better position than us. I asked her what has it got to do with MIL's birth date number....isn't
    it ridiculous? She said yes you are right, for someone who does not have any knowledge of this science this is ridiculous!! And she got angry and left. I went and talked to her but she says I don't respect her anymore and she does not want to talk to me now.
    I told my brother and he said leave her alone for some days, she will be fine and will come back.

    We planned for a party for spring break. Both of us planned to host it at my brother's place where we will invite other friends. I have already invited them but now I don't know how to bring back my SIL to normal. Am scared to even talk to her. And what will I say my other friends?
     
    Last edited: Mar 30, 2010
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  2. Foundlove

    Foundlove Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Simi,
    Heres my suggestion.First of all ignore her predictions.

    Tackle this person with caution and thrift.So observe any maark on her hand or something or add up all her birthday nos etc...and announce in front of everyone I heard no..so and so ppl are very cunning or loose character.

    Give her back in her own way.If she balks tell her I tell it like it is..like U did...

    Let me narrate an incident. A gossiping neighbor once came to our house when I was away at hostel and said I heard your daughter got married secretly...pat came the reply from my mom a.." And I heard from the same sources that your daughter is pregnant".

    That woman shut up so fast and ran away..Don't take crap from anyone.

    FL.
     
  3. simi12

    simi12 New IL'ite

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    Foundlove, Very apt! See the presence of mind of your mom.
    I admire it so much. Please read my edit part and suggest something.
    She always does this. I have to accept what she says is true or else she will get angry.
     
  4. Gauri03

    Gauri03 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Science? Pseudoscience is more like it! Does you SIL know that there is a 13th constellation 'Ophiuchus' which the Greeks needed to remove from the zodiac so that they could have an even 30º of sky for each sign. After all, dividing 360º by 12 is much easier than 13. So much for science!:rotfl

    Take your own brother's advice. Leave it alone for a few days. When you do talk to her just be normal. She is an adult and she should learn to accept people who don't agree with her. If she can't do that then it is not your problem. Continue to behave like an adult. That is all you can do.
     
  5. Foundlove

    Foundlove Gold IL'ite

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    Simi,
    You need to call these friends and say that the venue has changed and its in your house.

    IGNORE her.If she is silly..just let her be.Talk to her a basic hi hello. you cannot change anybody.

    If she tries to convince you tell her that your personal preferences are different and you don't interfere in her life and she should not interfere in yours.

    If you want it you can end this.Just stand up for yourself.

    FL.
     
  6. kma

    kma Gold IL'ite

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    Leave her alone for some time. You told her your discomfort when she discusses like that in front of your DH. Let her realise her mistake and come to you. Just because she is learning something new and wants to implement it , there is no need for her to embarass others. Your SIL seems to get too carried away by this astrology.

    How come her theories did not teach her about this friction with you? Did she not add up the numbers and check ?:rotflLike your brother suggested just keep quiet and let her get back to you. Regarding the get together, like FL suggested may be you can change the venue to your place if you people dont patch up by then.
     
  7. simi12

    simi12 New IL'ite

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    FL, Gauri and kma....thank you! I will just wait for some more days and try seeing if she has cooled down.


    Yeah,kma you know what she says on this. One time, she told me that according to my numerological chart or whatever, I don't even know some terms, I misunderstand things too easily.
    Whenever, we have any disagreements if you really see, I am the one doing the patch up work more than her. My brother once said, you are the one who is pampering her too much. Just leave her and she will be fine.
    I don't see what I am misunderstanding here.

    And, you know, when she is in good mood, she says I am more than her own sister. Actually, sometimes her good mood is also dangerous like one time she made so much biryani..just for dh and me... when dh praised her culinary skills, that biryani lasted for 5 days.....one big pot of it!!
    She goes about telling friends how much I do for her and how we both are not SILs and just like sisters etc etc.,
    I should say I have some soft corner for her. She is very very moody. When in nice mood she is very good to me. This new madness of hers....astrological one... is driving me crazy.
     
  8. Malavika81

    Malavika81 Bronze IL'ite

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    Just ignore her and her loony theories and that is probably the best way to deal with it. Or you can break the news to her and tell her what she believes in, is a load of codswallop.

    Usually these people who are into astrology, numerology, voodoo, ouiji boards, tea leaves etc are too busy trying to predict other people's fortunes and futures that they forget to predict their own..... or so I have heard LOL
     
  9. asuitablegirl

    asuitablegirl Gold IL'ite

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    Let's just assume she is a 'XYZ' sun sign.

    Next time she starts to make you feel uncomfortable, you should tell her, "Ahhh ha, and now Iknow why you are so foolish. Because you are an XYZ!"

    Really, I don't know why some people are so persistent at pushing their beliefs onto others. Ask her in private to not drag your personal life into her public palm readings anymore. As for analyzing your kids... when she has her own kids, maybe the reality of personality differences will dawn on her... and she will come to know that ALL kids can be stubborn, ALL kids can throw tantrums... not just a virgo kid, or leo or aries.
     
  10. APassionateOne

    APassionateOne New IL'ite

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    Hey Simi, your case is totally other way round. Remember you are the husband's sister..what happened to your position? (Just kidding..all SILs don't have to be mean witches..).

    Instead of pleading her all the time..why don't you tell her straight away, that you don't like her predictions and her views on horoscopes..zodiacs etc. Tell her not to talk or predict any thing about any of your family members in front of you. And also tell her that you cannot believe how insensitive she had been talking about 'secret affairs' about your daughter, your and MIL's relationship and you having a love affair right in front of your husband.

    Tell her and your brother, that you feel very hurt by all this and you can only be willing to mingle with them like a family, if she can respect your feelings. Otherwise, you just try to stay away from them, keep a formal relationship and don't share too much of your personal life with her.

    I hope, her horoscopes and stars help her to understand this and behave.
     

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