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SIL jealous of her own brother

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by sita2223, Feb 10, 2010.

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  1. Feb 12, 2010 #11
    sita2223

    sita2223 Bronze IL'ite

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    I was told, SIL is not like this since childhood. 5 years ago when DH came to US, his parents were missing him very much and were emotional/vulnerable. Itseems, SIL started creating distance between them after DH came to US. So, DH doesn't know how to deal with it. :bonk

    I am just looking for a means of handling the situation without giving in to SIL or falling-out with FIL. :confused2:

    :iagree
    This is exactly what we do now. SIL tries to pick up a fight herself or via ILs, but we just smile and do not excourage them. That irks SIL. :biglaugh

    But now, SIL is using her impending marriage to create a whole bunch of issues. DH and I can not go overboard dancing to her tunes, we could just do what we intend to and ignore the rest, but that would irk FIL. Catch-22 :bonk
     
    sita2223, Feb 12, 2010
    sita2223, Feb 12, 2010
    #11
  2. Feb 12, 2010 #12
    Sheenu

    Sheenu Junior IL'ite

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    Hi Sita,
    It seems like your SIL wants to spoil your relations with your in-laws, because she is jealous. I have same problem, my SIL is jealous of me. She has only one weapon against me – my MIL. She used to tell her stories that I am teasing her(SIL). She has made my PILs completely against me. Now when my DH came to knew about this and tried to stand by me-, SIL blamed me that I have spoiled her relation with her brother. She told to my MIL that I brainwashed my DH to go against them. My MIL know that her DD is creating problem in family, but again she blamed me that I am the one who tease her and provoke her to do so. MIL even told my DH and me –‘If you don’t like my daughter, then get lost from my house.’
    Now the cause of problem is- PILs listen to their DD only. They feel that their son is changed after marriage. He has become- Joru ka gulaam. I am dealing with this by showing extra care towards my SIL. I know she hate me and I too hate her to the core of my heart, but this is the only way to show PILs that –‘we love her’. BIG DRAMA.:biglaugh

    In your case- you have to show that you both are willing to take the responsibility of your SIL’s marriage and ready to do anything for her. For few days hold on the issue of loan – by saying that you are collecting information about loan- interest and all. By that time talk to them about the arrangements and all. And when you will feel that – now it is peaceful – Explain them about the loan and interest on it, that bank offers. Tell your husband to ask your FIL, If he can financially help you to lower the amount of loan. Explain him your situation and how much extra you have to pay in the form of interest. Take loan of amount that you can afford. This will make your SIL happy and decrease your problem. In future try to make your relations good with SIL. SIL problem will decrease after her marriage. Till then bear her and count days. This is the only way.

    Please don’t become childish by thinking if you are winning or losing from your SIL. She is dumb, not you. Act smartly…:thumbsup
     
    Last edited: Feb 12, 2010
    Sheenu, Feb 12, 2010
    Sheenu, Feb 12, 2010
    #12
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