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Siblings - Narcissistic Attitude

Discussion in 'Parents & Siblings' started by Vedhavalli, Sep 22, 2020.

  1. Minion

    Minion Gold IL'ite

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    Have you watched the movie "Sathuranka Vettai" its a classic example of how people get manipulated by narcissists.

     
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  2. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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    Then give her the same answers until she gets bored...
     
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  3. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Finest Post Winner

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    Now I think my mother is also narcissist.
    After having a conversation. Omg I'm verge of breaking down.
    How did you manage to cut off your parents. ?
    My father is super innocent.
     
  4. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Silver IL'ite

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    You have your sibling completely in your control, reacting to all your signals -- whether real or fake. You just have not figured out how to take advantage of that.
    When you do, be kind and nice.
     
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  5. Sreevidyaa

    Sreevidyaa Silver IL'ite

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    Avoid phone calls. Mute it. That’s the way to go. Maybe with time she will get the message. If your parents don’t understand this problem explain in simple terms and with time let them understand. If they don’t understand you cannot help.

    All is in your hands now. You have the switch and use it wisely.
     
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  6. DDream

    DDream Finest Post Winner

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    OP, you can talk neative,but over phone that will lead to more problems. Talk positive only. If not,be silent.

    Like others said ignore whereever you can .
    A sweet approach is the best. Learn how to answer , divert topics, give excuses, and to the point. Never complain over phone. If you want to talk in person,that's ok. If you can't talk anything good, stay calm and silent.

    If you think they are narcissistic, they may not have any control over what they do. Treat them like someone with mental illness and be empathetic. Also watch how you are talking, just record it and listen to improve tone. Be kind to yourself.

    In my opinion, it is always better to avoid negative people. If you can't, deal with positive approach. Negative approach will lead to more negativity. Thats not good for you. Learn to ignore and not take these things to your heart.
     
    Last edited: Sep 30, 2020
  7. 1Sandhya

    1Sandhya Platinum IL'ite

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    @Vedhavalli ,
    Actually this thread and what you have said about familial narcissism explains a lot of your issues over the years in the threads you started here. Why you continually run into problems with friends and acquaintances, why you try too hard, why you are unable to read the person correctly and are over friendly or over explaining or bending over backwards, why you feel unable to say no, etc. etc. It's all related, imo. You have been massively impacted by their narcissism too. It has shaped the way you unconsciously expect people to react and behave which is why there's a disconnect when you went into the world and met other people.
    Though the videos posted here were informative, they merely identified the problem, imo. If you really want to understand what's going on with you and with your family, get answers and heal yourself you will have to do the hard work involved. First find some good books that address the issue - look in the library for books about and by 'daughters of narcissistic mothers' or similar keywords. and then see where that takes you. It will be a personal journey with lot of hard work, and even tears but if you are up for it it will be ultimately very rewarding.
    This will be a journey for you. I don't think there's a 'OK, try this one thing' kind of answer to neatly solve this issue.
     
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  8. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Finest Post Winner

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    @1Sandhya thanks for the kind words.
    I'm in a learning process.
    It hurts to when own family sabotaging me.
    Outside world can't see. People would think I'm lying or jealous.
    As of now I'm under minimal conversation with parents and sibling.
    But again my sister drilled questions what are you making for diwali, what dress have you bought, are you buying gold , silver for dante ras,
    Send me pic etc.
     
  9. Minion

    Minion Gold IL'ite

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    It is not easy to change her old habits you take control of what you can do, just ignore or start confronting her every time she crosses the boundary.
     
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  10. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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    You can simply answer no for everything
     

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