Sibling rivalry - Help me

hi Amritha,
well, just today i was going to post a thread related to really same issues like you are having.
my younger son is few days short of 2 years.my elder one is 5.6 years.there is no sibling rivalry but my younger one is a hitter.
he will hit us,his brother ,maid,driver........when things are not in his favour. if we scold him he will immediarely start crying.......i am at my wits.....what to do.
i have tried cajoling,praising,time out but nothing seems to work........

Moms ,do you have some good suggestions for us............please pour in.
at 2.6 years he will start playschool & i want his behaviour to improve before that.
pragati

p.s :Amritha,a child of 2 is stable & should not be that accident prone as your ds seems to be.when he walks & runs pay attention to his legs.is he favouring any leg or running on almost toes....is his balance ok.i mean is he able to climb up & down the stairs himself (when one leg is to be used)
check these points & if falling persists get him checked up by a good ped.

 

Terrible Twos? When they want to do something by themselves but are not yet totally ready. DS is one of those kids. At 3, he wants to do everything by himself and then comes and says you do, very frustrated. He used to throw things around, slowly we have got him to see that if he cannot finish a task to take a breather and then do it again. Amitha, looks like our LOs are in a rush to do things and be "grown up". In our case, DS is clearly competing with his father, I am guessing your case it is with DS1. I am slowly trying to instil this feeling that he should compete only with himself and try and better what he does the first time. It is a very slow progress, I have to say.

 

Amitha/Pragati
have your kids started talking well yet? i found an uncontrollable frustration in dd till she started communicating well verbally, until she was sure we understood her.

 

Amitha,
My cousin's son who is 4 is very violent. He beats everyone when he is angry or too excited. So my uncle (the kid's grandpa) has taught him this. When the kid gets angry and about to beat/hit anyone, he makes the kid stand before him and holds his arms tight and starts counting 1..2..3..4.. till 10 very slowly. This many times helps the kid calm down, my uncle says..

But on a hilarious note, when my uncle first started this practice and said, 'When you are angry, close your eyes and count till 10' and immediately the kid answered, "so after counting till 10 can I beat others?" :hide:That is still our family legend comedy.

I know your kid is just 2, but you know how well kids understand things..

 

hi all,
my son will turn 2 next week & he is very expressive.he can talk well & communicate nicely stating all his demands & needs.
i find even the elder one teasing him a lot & maybe that is the reason.sometimes its because of being tired & many a times its because he demands to do things whch are forbidden.
yesterday ,he brough his chairs & tried to stand near gas stove where i was working.when i tried to remove him from kitchen i got few slaps & then he started his tearful accusition'mummy beat me'.when all i did was say no...............again he brought his chair near gas & again same thing happened.the third time i made him sit on shelf & play with atta dough.........well,had lots of mess plus had to change his clothes but atleast he was calm.......still it worries me.one can't always suggest alternates.he has to learn meaning o no.

amrita i googled 'toddler hitting siblings & got many results.am trying to find proper reason & solution
pragati

 

Amitha

This is not sibling rivalry. sibling rivalry is a different aspect altogether.
sibling rivalry between brother/sisters is a common fact that has to be accepted. some express it while some hold it to be expressed in the later stages, that is why you sometimes find the bonding missing as they grow up. There are times that the siblings will give anything for each other, and there are times when they are going for the jugular of the other.

The classic example of this are my kiddos. my DD is known well at school, and DS is known as DD's brother. DS during one of his meltdown told me that he was waiting for DD to finish her schooling and leave for college so that he can be known by his name rather than being so and so's brother. some may say it is jealousy, but no, he is not jealous of her, it is just he wants his few minutes of fame for which he has to fight with his sister.

now coming to your issue, no two children are the same. agreed your ds2 appears to be more aggressive, but maybe you are feeling/giving it more importance as Ds1 was calm? think both are two different individuals.

have you supported DS1 infront DS2. like you feel that you are giving ds2 more time, and go and hug your ds1 in front of ds2. some kids are too possessive at the 2's and 3', that they cannot reason out that it is their brother or sister.

There is another perspective..does ds1 react to what ds2 does. From the outside ds1 maybe calm, but do observe his reactions too. sometimes, these calm ones know how to tackle themselves and hurting the other emotionally or ribbing them so much that they are forced to show their aggression in other ways. This i tell you from my personal experience.

will join you later.