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Should Ladies With Mental Deficiencies Get Married

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by SuiDhaaga, Dec 5, 2020.

  1. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    Thank you for stating this.
     
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2020
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  2. AppuMom

    AppuMom Silver IL'ite

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    Mental deficiency is a term which has deep and vast meaning.People with clinically tested 'inability to have a normal social and family life', ends up in asylum by their near ones mostly..sad reality..forget about married life ,they are unable to live normal life.
    We all have some or other mental deficiency..little or more .
    I believe my occasional panic attacks or anxiety is kind of mental deficiency ...
     
  3. chanchitra

    chanchitra Silver IL'ite

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    Marriage is not always about sex. Love, trust, companionship are all involved.
    Life is not incomplete without Marriage.
    There have been lots of posts here by neurotypical women about how their husband's don't love or respect them, even abuse. Then expect sex from the wife making her feel like a sex worker.
    Some men are good ,some are bad.
    Its a tough situation
     
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  4. Metamorphic

    Metamorphic Gold IL'ite

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    There are many names, labels and disorders now a days. Everything and anything has a label and everyone of us will surely fall under one or the other disorder.

    Most of otherwise normal folks don't even realise they have issues in them. In our society, people visit doctors only for physical illness and the mental conditions forever go unnoticed. Most people think a person's behaviour happens only by choice and as a result of that thinking judge a person suffering from mental disorders. Days are changing though and awareness is increasing.

    Ok now, I'll go and learn about Aspergers.
     
  5. nemesis

    nemesis Platinum IL'ite

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    Ignorance is bliss.

    Till you realize you are ignorant, ie.

    A contract of living together should be signed after a thorough understanding of what the other person is. But that's theory.

    Day 1 would be like 'nope nope, am a progressive person, your personality disorder doesn't matter' and on day 315, in an argument it would be like, 'yeah, your disorder is what made me react this way'. Or the first person justifying some undesirable behavior through his/her disorder.

    My point, pain and suffering for some is inevitable: Loneliness of being single or the loneliness when in a relationship.
     
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  6. Laks09

    Laks09 Staff Member Finest Post Winner

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    Is this a hypothetical question? I would like to answer based on that.
     
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  7. nakshatra1

    nakshatra1 Platinum IL'ite

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    Most people have some or other issue - be it Anxiety/OCD whatever.I dont think Asperger's is such a serious thing that one should not get married or have kids !

    And why did that person suggest to not have kids? I mean so many neurotypical men cannot change their baby's diapers or feed their kids for a day - they just go out and make money and that's all that is expected of them. But an Asperger's woman should not have kids? Why she will have family help or have nannies and make some arrangements like neurotypical women working or even homemakers.

    Asperger's is not a mental deficiency- and people can fall in love with them for their honesty, simplicity, intelligence, sincerity. So many neurotypical people cannot have successful and meaningful relationships either.We are nobody to give such suggestions to people. Everyone deserves a chance at love and marirage if that is imp to them- just they should reveal everything before marriage.
     
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  8. SuiDhaaga

    SuiDhaaga Gold IL'ite

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    Gimme a few ---- I will respond to all these wonderful replies.
     
  9. SuiDhaaga

    SuiDhaaga Gold IL'ite

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    The young lady is in COVID lockdown, hence re-evaluating her life. Trying to make sense of it.

    Synthroid couldn't help? But wow, because of thyroid the girls couldn't get decent proposal.

    Years later the young lady was married off quick because she was always upset and depressed. Her weird behavior caused mean reaction from others, or other shunned her, hence her sadness.

    Her parents wanted to see her happy, but her marriage was abusive, yet brief (he wanted GC). She married a boy from the same community and he seemed perfect. They married after knowing each other a few hours.

    He taunted her akward behavior. When she took off her clothes and opened his legs for him, he taunted her saying she flops around like his grandma, and that she has no power in his legs. She isn't polished like the p0rn stars he sees.

    Should that be required learning for girls prior to marriage, how to be a p0rn star?

    10 years later she is healing from the scars. She is uncomfortable about having sex outside of marriage, but if she marries an evil loser, it is a hassle to divorce.

    Plus Indian culture (and cheap mentality, regardless of culture) blames women for bad thing that happens to them. If a woman can be blamed for her own rape, she can be blamed for her husband abusing her.


    If God can make people fall in love with those who have similar issues as them, Earth would become Heaven.

    Those are great men who see past one's limitations.


    If possible, can you tell us why the girl refuses to divorce him. Apparently it is not family that is pressuring her to stay, so I'm curious, why? Perhaps she loves him?


    The joint family has great potential of helping people. Unfortunately people weaponize it, i.e. creating jealousies, tiffs, etc. And it is the sheltered newly married Daughter-in-Law who must unite the family, and win her in-laws over. That is what we see in Indian serials.

    Nuclear family isn't perfect, as you mentioned.

    Girl is in USA.

    Her parents told her. Now they are repenting. They wish she has a happy married life.

    She began to pray for a happy married life. Few months later COVID happened, and she is locked down. She wants to improve herself so she can be around the right type of men to start dating them.

    I want to help my friend. And I'm helping her update her wardrobe for her debut AFTER this lockdown. My concern is, she will be more pretty than me ;-)

    The parent are suffering from guilt, which is turning into health problems. When Dr says it is due to old age the friend says that is all BS, she knows the real reason.

    My friend struggles to find love again. She can only pray to God.


    My friend is ambitious. Perhaps she is looking at the wrong men. Lot of handsome, educated, rich men would rather party and deny paternity of their girlfriend's child. Perhaps she is looking at the wrong people. For the past few weeks she stopped visiting the internet, stopped watching TV. She is studying for IT certifications.


    This is a beautiful video. A bit long, so I watched a few minutes.

    I like how she dressed beautifully even though she is a widow. She was blessed to have a nice Husband (as he was blessed to have her).

    She is the real Mother Theresa!

    Ok, I am going to research this series.

    My friend was touched by your comment.

    All her life, people would say, "you are so stupid, how did you get into this school", or "you are so dumb, how did you earn a Masters degree"

    She is well educated and earns 6-figures.

    Thank you.

    I will print these comments for my friend to read over and over when she is fighting her worst battles (whether from other people or herself).

    This made me cry. Purpose of family is to help one another. Not dispose them when they are not useful.

    People in asylum are treated much worse. I'd be scared for women in asylum, how they endure sexual abuse.

    Better to NOT have a family than have a family who shuns you.

    This type of sex is worse than rape, IMHO. Husband took vows to respect and protect his wife and does the opposite.

    This type of sex is the real sin, not sex that is done outside of marriage.

    My friend feels bad about her past. She mis-understood the few people that were nice to her and shunned them away. Now she prays to God and says she is sorry about her actions and pray these nice people are happy in their lives and forget about her. Or perhaps God can give 2nd chance and bring these nice people back into her life.

    I like when you give the comparison between Day 1 and Day 315. My friend should not blame her behavior for her disorder, she should confront it and fix it.

    And yes, person can be lonely in relationship.

    This is real-life person. Please share your thoughts.

    Girl is in USA, so nannies are expensive and they give attitudes. I.e they steal from employer can make false accusation against employer.

    Plus the girl would be too emotionally attached to her children (she loves babies and is surprised there are women who don't like kids). If her children grew up to hurt her, she would be shattered.

    One important thing. This girl always wanted to be a teacher, but when she tutored a neighbor's 5 year old son, he was nasty and insulting to her. Instead of saying he doens't want to be around her, he slapped her. Instead of the Girl asking the boy to leave and say "sorry", she ignored it, but felt bad somehow (again, this is ASPERGERS).

    When she told her parents afterwards, that is when they started telling her she shouldn't have children, etc. because she cannot handle this brat. Years later they said that if she was normal, she would have told the boy's parents, "I do not want to see him on my floor" (they live in apartment building), instead of welcoming him back again.

    This happened about 20 years ago. The boy is now a dead-beat who lives with his parents. My friend says she hears them scream and argue all the time, but her parents in the other room don't hear the drama. The boy lives with his rich parents who support his partying. No, they are not Desi.

    So are all children born with bad genes that are hard to handle?

    Maybe the girl will have children with nice genes.

    I am crying as I write this. And I'm praying for my friend too!

    I overlooked this.

    My friend was told that good people will avoid someone simple like her. Crooks who want to take advantage of her will marry her.

    These things are so ingrained in my friend.

    My friend says if she has choice between all the wealth in the world, with the luxury homes, private yachts, private jumbo jet and a happy marriage and home with blessed children, she rather have the happy marriage, blessed children and simple life. My friend prays to God.
     
    Last edited: Dec 6, 2020
  10. chanchitra

    chanchitra Silver IL'ite

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    Please ask her to watch this series. I think it's a reality series. She will be able to relate to them.
     
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