1. Would you like to join the IL team? See open jobs!
    Dismiss Notice
  2. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

Should Ladies With Mental Deficiencies Get Married

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by SuiDhaaga, Dec 5, 2020.

  1. SuiDhaaga

    SuiDhaaga Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    533
    Likes Received:
    164
    Trophy Points:
    108
    Gender:
    Female
    There are many threads that teach ladies how to detect red flags before marrying a guy, but what if the lady has Asperger's?

    Asperger's is a mild form of Autism (think of Shah Rukh Khan in "My Name Is Khan").

    People with Asperger's react very strong to certain things, i.e. they get upset easy and have outbursts.

    Yet, those with Asperger's are highly functional, i.e. they excel at school and work, but they are POOR at reading human emotions, let alone understand human INTENTIONS.

    The sad part is, those with Asperger's may think that friends and enemies and ENEMIES ARE THEIR BEST FRIEND.


    A girl with Asperger's was told to forget about having children because she would not know how to take care of them. And since she won't have children she she doesn't need marriage, she should get boyfriend instead. Males would be happy to have sex without any commitment. And if one boyfriend leaves, she can get another one.

    She was told that men don't love their wives, they marry because it suits them. After all there are men in history who had thousand of wives, i.e. Akbar.

    And lot of men don't care for their children unless they get benefit. Remember the paternity case for Late Anna Nichole Smith. Men only fought for paternity because of the $$$ of this "ugly woman" (as one person told this young girl), Anna Nicole Smith's Mom Disputes Attorney's Paternity Claims



    What if a girl with Asperger's wants to have happy marriage. How does she see red flags if she has this disability?

    Or does she have to choose between having sex outside of marriage or sleeping in an empty bed? And what is the guarantee her Husband who promised to stay with her uses her and leaves her? How is he any better than some boyfriend who wants ZERO commitment?
     
    Loading...

  2. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,879
    Likes Received:
    4,938
    Trophy Points:
    308
    Gender:
    Female
    There are no guarantees in life or marriage. Plenty of neurotypical people break up all the time for myriad reasons.
    All you can do is act with the best available information at the time.
     
  3. Nuzhath

    Nuzhath Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    66
    Likes Received:
    79
    Trophy Points:
    58

    Sad. Same is true for bipolar disorder or any health condition. Usually, most people don't reveal until after they are married. I know of cases where girls couldn't get a decent proposal for years just because of thyroid.

    It is a tough decision for couples. Having babies will definitely pass on the genes. but you never know. I know of so many parents who quickly get their daughters married if they see signs of depression or anxiety.

    Unless there is an awareness, a compromise -these issues will only rise up. people with similar ailments should join hands and create an amicable atmosphere. Very rarely, yu will find gentle souls, who marry in spite of mental ailments. I know of a good doctor, who married a girl with epilepsy. Another man married a girl with polio. Society needs more accomodating people. One girl was cheated, in a sense. The guy had some depressive condition and she came to know after marriage. But to date, she refuses to divorce him, as her parents and family insist.

    God bless all.
     
    SuiDhaaga likes this.
  4. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    583
    Likes Received:
    664
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Male
    Lots of pop-psych in the OP!!
    The desi-collective family life has controlled, and subsumed a lot of things within the multi-unit family. Collective families can do much better than nuclear families (mom, pop, kids) in assimilating differences. People who claim to have no mental health issues tend to have problems and have marital breakups because they have the privacy of a nuclear family-life to escalate their tiffs into real quarrels, and get to moratoriums, ultimatums, and show-downs.

    The English Royals are a collective family. And boy... do they have mental health issues galore !!
     
    SuiDhaaga likes this.
  5. chanchitra

    chanchitra Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    207
    Likes Received:
    262
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
     
    SuiDhaaga and MalStrom like this.
  6. hermitcrab

    hermitcrab Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    926
    Likes Received:
    1,372
    Trophy Points:
    263
    Gender:
    Female
    OP,
    Everyone deserves love and everyone is allowed (who is the authority here, to stop?) to pursue love and happiness.
    One who suggested that some women should not married were cruel.
    Also, were wrong to suggest not to have kids.

    Boyfriends are good and husbands are also good- again one can choose for themselves. If the husband is leaving, one can ask/ talk/ negotiate. It is never too late! and never say never!

    Even after this if the husband leaves, so be it- his lose. One can try to find love again.

    btw- I have lots and lots of male relatives- I can tell you that-
    Men love to be loved.
    They are not robots.
    They love to talk.
    They like to be married, the domesticity, the stable structure, the mundane- all things that come with it.
    They love their wives. Some are soulmates with wives. Some are not. Sometimes this love is conditional and sometimes unconditional- this love can be anything on a spectrum.
    They love their children. This love is unconditional. Men adore their children.
    Men do care about people in their life, the planet, the country, the culture, the food, the emotions- everything- as much as any woman would. They are whole emotional beings.
    There may be exceptions to above, and some men may not be living up to their full potential, but we cannot generalize. Whoever, said that men do not care about children or wives and only care about money- were wrong.

    one can try to find love/ husband/ boyfriend instead of feeling disheartened that all men are emotion less beings.
     
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2020
  7. Urmila

    Urmila Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    71
    Likes Received:
    180
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Gender:
    Female
    Everyone needs to find a compatible spouse if they desire to get married. I recently watched this video and it touched me. All one needs is a bit of God’s grace who can tie the knots at the unexpected time. Thought to share it here.
     
    SuiDhaaga and Brevity like this.
  8. chanchitra

    chanchitra Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    207
    Likes Received:
    262
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    Love on the spectrum in Netflix
    Seven young adults on the autism spectrum dive headfirst into the dating pool, exploring the unpredictable world of love and relationships
     
    SuiDhaaga likes this.
  9. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,879
    Likes Received:
    4,938
    Trophy Points:
    308
    Gender:
    Female
    Just wanted to point out that autism spectrum disorder is not a mental deficiency and it is inappropriate to use that as a label.
     
    Roar, SuiDhaaga, nakshatra1 and 3 others like this.
  10. chanchitra

    chanchitra Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    207
    Likes Received:
    262
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    True. Its not a mental deficiency at all.
     
    SuiDhaaga and MalStrom like this.

Share This Page