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Should I visit my family?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by neha1, Jul 8, 2010.

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  1. Jul 8, 2010 #51
    chocolate

    chocolate Platinum IL'ite

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    Neha, You are still in newness mode of your marriage. I cant blame you for how you feel about leaving your husband alone to have a vacation. Basically we being abroad are more dependent on each other for everything. Our interaction is also limited to our husbands day in and day out. So that makes our world a little smaller and more attached to each other.
    Ultimately during vacation time, we will be crying our eyes out while our husbands send us telling they will be fine. Only by the end of a week, they will be calling ,mailing us repeatedly telling us to get back soon.:rotfl:rotfl(Love this part!!)This is something you look forward too.At the same time, this being your first time, you will have separation anxiety. Also you are barely married for an yr, so separation might be tuff to handle.Dont worry 2 weeks into your vacation you will be fine. You will start to enjoy yourself.Men can handle separation better than us.They are not vocal and emotional like us women.Good thing about this trips is we know where we are in our marriages.Good Luck.
     
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2010
    chocolate, Jul 8, 2010
    chocolate, Jul 8, 2010
    #51
  2. Jul 9, 2010 #52
    Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

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    LOL! "Newness mode" I agree... After that wears off, she'll prolly look for the "away time" from her DH? Just kidding neha since I know ur a good friend...:)


    Chocolate,
    In my case, it is reverse :hide:
    DW is very cool and practical usually, and I will be the one tensing up :bonk
     
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2010
    Spiderman1, Jul 9, 2010
    Spiderman1, Jul 9, 2010
    #52
  3. Jul 9, 2010 #53
    Priya16

    Priya16 IL Hall of Fame

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    If I have leave house and go somewere to visit friends or family,I really don't want to cook.But my husband will make sure he will have some food in fridge.BTW,he knows cooking .
    See god wanted to have fun!So he creats opposite couples.Have fun Neha,but sleepless nights is too much.
    I never know when I had sleepless night last time.May be 10 years before :) :)
     
    Priya16, Jul 9, 2010
    Priya16, Jul 9, 2010
    #53
  4. Jul 9, 2010 #54
    neha1

    neha1 Silver IL'ite

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    @chocolate,
    Yes, I'm having separation anxiety. The funny thing is Dh is not even saying anything about it since last night as he is having anxiety too now:crazy. He is kind of sulking about the whole thing now! The little courage that I had got also seems to be fading away. Looks like I"ll have to shorten my vacation to a month(I was thinking of 3 months). 1 month sounds fine to both of us.
    @Priya,
    I too don't know why I'm having sleepless nights. I am so surprised that I love DH sooo much that everything else(even my family) seems small to me in comparison to his love.that's the reason I may be so stressed out about the whole thing. May be its a sign that I should not go:idea.
    @Spidey,
    That's fine yaar:thumbsup
     
    neha1, Jul 9, 2010
    neha1, Jul 9, 2010
    #54
  5. Jul 9, 2010 #55
    chocolate

    chocolate Platinum IL'ite

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    Neha, Our world after marriage suddenly seems to revolve around our marriage ,our husbands . Its more like this if we are staying alone with our husbands far off.Of course if we did stay with our in laws we cudnt wait to get away.Anything to escape the daily soap.But staying apart we have more of our house,my husband feeling.
    Your family doesnt feel small to you in real,its just that your focus now has shifted to your marriage and husband.
    After being married for many yrs, now I too feel more comfortable in my own home. Of course , I can do as I wish in my parents house. But seeing this side of life, I crave for my own independence in my own home.I too dont go on long vacations. My vacation time maybe as small as a week. I am comfortable with that and my parents know its for the best and let me visit.
    If you feel bad leaving your husband for a long time,you can shorten your vacation to duration you are comfortable with staying apart.Better do that then prolonging vacation and feeling miserable there the whole time.Good Luck.
     
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2010
    chocolate, Jul 9, 2010
    chocolate, Jul 9, 2010
    #55
  6. Jul 9, 2010 #56
    neha1

    neha1 Silver IL'ite

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    I too have the same feelings and thoughts as you have written. Its kind of my home here and I feel I'm going to 'some other house' even though my parents love to have me and treat me well. Strange feeling:bonk
    I was thinking of 3 months initially but now looks like I might shorten it to 1 month.
     
    neha1, Jul 9, 2010
    neha1, Jul 9, 2010
    #56
  7. Jul 10, 2010 #57
    GiJoe

    GiJoe Silver IL'ite

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    Last edited: Jul 10, 2010
    GiJoe, Jul 10, 2010
    GiJoe, Jul 10, 2010
    #57
  8. Jul 10, 2010 #58
    mithy232

    mithy232 Silver IL'ite

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    Neha,

    Two days before while talking to my DF I said "When you will take me with you? How long you want me to stay at my mom's place?" and got a slap on my back from my brother. He was shouting "Throw this girl out" :biglaugh

    Don't get confused. Wait for 6 more months and come with your DH or 2-3 weeks ahead of him so that you get enough time with your parents. Now you cannot enjoy the vacation wholeheartedly.

    GiJoe,

    Waiting for one such opportunity...aren't you??? :crazy
     
    mithy232, Jul 10, 2010
    mithy232, Jul 10, 2010
    #58
  9. Jul 11, 2010 #59
    neha1

    neha1 Silver IL'ite

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    neha1, Jul 11, 2010
    neha1, Jul 11, 2010
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  10. Jul 11, 2010 #60
    neha1

    neha1 Silver IL'ite

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    Waiting to get married,isn't it?:)

    Yes, let me take a shorter vacation. Makes more sense I think
    DH is all supportive but like chocolate has said he might start asking me when I'm coming back even before I land:rotfl in India.
     
    neha1, Jul 11, 2010
    neha1, Jul 11, 2010
    #60
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