Should I Thank you or not?

Disclaimer: Every incident and person, including “I”, is fictitious. Any resemblance to anyone or anything is a mere co-incidence.
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Sachin, my son, was playing in the sand. Me and my husband had decided to take a break in our hectic life and as first step took a day off from the office today. It was evening and we had come to the beach. My husband was also playing with my son. I wanted to sit and enjoy the sunset rather making myself dirty. As I was sitting alone, many thoughts crossed my mind. Many events that my life has faced. One among them. I do not want to remember nor want to forget.
3 years back…
I was waiting in the railway station for my husband to reach. I was 7 months pregnant and was set to go to my mom’s place for delivery. My husband was supposed to come for the send off. He had to meet a friend of his before coming to the station. My aunt who had come to pick me up from my place was sitting inside the train. I was too restless to sit and hence came and stood out waiting for him. KTT railway station almost had whole of Abhi Nagar population at the peak hours. As time flew I was even more restless and could not stand. I saw a seat just close to the train and after informing my aunt went and sat there. Exactly after 15 minutes, I heard something which I thought was a cracker burst. Not really minding it, I was looking for my husband. Then again after a few minutes, I heard the same kind of noise but this time it was even louder. In addition to that, I saw people running and heard the screams too. Now I knew there was something wrong. My aunt who had also heard that came running out of the train and took me inside. Initially I refused to come in since I hadn’t seen my husband. I was so worried about him now. But after constant pleading I had to give in. All the time I was inside the train, I was looking for my husband. As far as my eyes could see, I saw only dead bodies and people running and screaming. There was no sight of my husband. I was too scared to look at the dead bodies too. Tears started rolling and I knew something bad was going to happen. People in the train started running. I could see only people running. My aunt suggested that we also should run. Had my husband been there, I would have thought that this was a good option. But even more than my life, I was worried for my husband.
Then suddenly I heard gun shots in the train. People screamed and ran. Yet most were shot. Till now I hadn’t seen the source of the bullets. But now I came face to face with him whom I assumed was a terrorist. He was wearing a mask. As tall as me. Rather as short as me. He looked young. Maybe not more than 25. I was terrified seeing him. Both me and my aunt had started crying. We were the only ones in the bay. After what seemed an eternity, I realized he was looking at us without starting to shoot. He had looked at my stomach and I had seen that. Now with all my courage I begged asking him to leave us. He looked very uncertain in the beginning and later asked us to move out of the train soon. I was surprised by his gesture and moved out of the train. He was following us at the back and still I was terrified he would shoot us. Just at the train steps, I wanted to check if he was following us, and to my yet another surprise, I could sense some calmness in his eyes. He gestured to move out soon and later went ahead to another compartment for shooting. Me and my aunt were later saved by the policemen and just as we came out of the station, I saw my husband who was weeping uncontrollably. By the time he reached the station, he had heard the news and so did the police. He was not allowed to enter the station after that. When my husband saw me, he hugged me so tight and we both started crying.
Present
Every time I look at Sachin now, I wish I could thank the terrorist who left me and my child alive on that day. But he had also killed so many other people who were sons, daughters, mothers, fathers themselves. I thank you for saving me. But I hate you and will not forgive you for taking away so many innocent lives. Is this justified? I am still searching for an answer…

 

Thank you all!!!