Sorry for long post.. I am married for last 10years with 2 kids. Mine was arranged marriage . During 1st year of marriage I realized that I and in laws can not get along, the expectations they have from their DIL are not matching to my personality at all . I was brought up to be independent and here I was intervened, questioned and interferred in all small small issues..with all the time comparisons with SIL & her life. But my husband was quite supportive to me so I somehow carried on keeping myself busy in job. In 2nd year of marriage itself my hubby took overseas opportunity and it was a big relief for me. I even quit my premium job without even second thought ....just to join him there and start our family life. In the first 5 years after moving out of country even whenever in laws used to come on visit, with some misunderstanding, different lifestyles, each others habits, opinion differences with I holding job again, keeping maid at home after baby, all the small issues used to bring some negativity, arguments and disturbance losing peace of mind. My own home used to be suffocating for me. My FIL hates me to an extent he can not remain present in the room I am in. So finally I decided to put full stop to their visits to live peacefully for last 3 years and put the condition to DH bring your parents only in my absence or else take leave and stay with them. My husband prefers to visit them occasionally and also takes kids for which I have never objected. I never visit my in laws place after a real bad argument with MIL. Our relations (me n In laws) over a period of time are so strained that now they are damaged beyond repairs. We do not talk to each other at all. Of course it's affecting my relations with DH and I feel pity for him. In this social media world now, every emotional message and fwd now sent to him makes him emotional and spoil my days. With this struggle to sustain I am in deep depression and was also on medication for some time. Staying overseas no one to talk openly and do not want to bother my parents makes me suffocated. Thoughts come in that I did mistake marrying this guy; may be his image for wife and his parents image from DIL were totally different. But this has made my world upside down. Leaving my parents my identity my job everything I moved away with him to make a home and in his world I feel I am a total stranger. Our world is only there because of kids now. His parents are aging now and they kept sending messages how they and SIL (married stays near to them) miss him and the kids. But at the same time keep sending fwd messages and poems that how a woman badly changes man after marriage that he forgets that he is son/ brother. My parents are also aging,and I don't have brother. I also think of staying with them and let my husband stay with his parents for old age support. Of course kids responsibility we have to divide between week-day week-end...but this situation will be as good as divorce. I know I am thinking of extremities in unstable mental conditions. but now I feel I can go to an extent of leaving my DH to avoid staying with his parents. Neither I want to be labelled of separating anyone's son and grand-kids from them nor have any plans send anyone at old age home. but I also want to have my peace of mind and do my duties as daughter. Some of you may be asking what about my duty as DIL? sorry I have full respect for his parents but can not stay with someone who doesn't have any value of me in their life and look at me as their free maid to serve in old age. I have lost faith in these statements that DIL is like daughter and in laws are like parents. we all stay in the same city back home and I also have bought flat in my name with my earnings near my parents area. Please suggest me if you can what is the best I can do in this situation. Again Sorry for long post.. but I just can not get over it.