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Should I go? Please Please Help me

Discussion in 'Parents & Siblings' started by Emal, Dec 17, 2013.

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Dec 27, 2013 #21

Emal Senior IL'ite

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Ansuya said: ↑

I tend to be more practical than sentimental, so be aware that my advice will always tend toward the former.

I think even if you had a great relationship with your family, you would be well within your rights not to attend a wedding if it was something that was difficult for you, especially with a new baby.

Given the way your family treats you, it seems more than acceptable for you to make up your mind (as opposed to bowing to tradition, culture, family pressure, societal expectations, and all those other wonderful things) as to whether you want to go or not.

After all, it will be you who will be bearing the brunt of the burden of traveling/acclimatising with your baby (wedding occasions are not known for their calmness, peace, ease, convenience, etc.), and also bearing the brunt of whatever "loving" attention your family decides to shower upon you (weddings tend also to not bring out the best - to say the least - in families who are already at war).

This only becomes an issue if and when people decide to make it an issue. True love and affection includes CONSIDERATION for the wants, needs, and comfort of loved ones. Your not attending the wedding might cause some "symbolic" discomfort (the famous Indian rallying cry to arms, "What will the people say?"). But your attending the wedding is likely to cause very real stress and severe adjustment issues for you and your baby.

Lastly, my sister and father did not attend my wedding in India due to work/personal reasons. Everyone STILL lived happily ever after. They saw the pictures and met my husband afterwards.

You will be the best judge of whose needs are more important here. My vote would be for baby (and, by proxy, you).
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Ansuya, I loved to read your post. Very practical and true. If I keep my emotional feelings out this is how I feel. Thank You.

Emal, Dec 27, 2013

Emal, Dec 27, 2013

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Dec 27, 2013 #22

Emal Senior IL'ite

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breeze01 said: ↑

why cant your brother have live telecast the wedding for you... so you can see the wedding and no need of travelling. its not as easy as telling go for the wedding... but there will be lot more things you have to take care of. just tell your brothers that as baby is too small i dont want baby to take long journey as of now but waiting for few more months so baby grow little big and you get all your energy,health back then you go visit...
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Is it possible to Live Telecast the wedding ?? I would love if this happens. Could you please tell me how can this be done ? What equipment etc would my brother need to get this done ?? Thank You.

Emal, Dec 27, 2013

Emal, Dec 27, 2013

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Dec 27, 2013 #23

Emal Senior IL'ite

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vmtaurus said: ↑

If I was in your place I would not go, not because of your past with your family, but for the simple fact that this would be physically inconvenient to your baby and you. Babies would rarely enjoy large, noisy weddings, and you will be spending most of your time calming him/her anyway...and it won't be like you can really enjoy the festivities. Also, the stress of travel, time difference, etc. will take a toll. Since you do not feel in the peak of health, my suggestion would be to not go. You can always meet your bro/his wife sometime later. If they don't try to understand your situation, its just not worth it!
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Thank you so much vmtaurus. You nailed it. After reading this over the weekend I was certain that its not a good idea for me to go.

Emal, Dec 27, 2013

Emal, Dec 27, 2013

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Dec 27, 2013 #24

maalti Gold IL'ite

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I have seen families like that. They think their girl child a burden and they try to severe all relationships with the girl once she gets married. Don't go to any place where you are not wanted. Instead shower your love on baby who deserves you more than your own people.
Regards

maalti, Dec 27, 2013

maalti, Dec 27, 2013

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Dec 27, 2013 #25

breeze01 Platinum IL'ite

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Emal said: ↑

Is it possible to Live Telecast the wedding ?? I would love if this happens. Could you please tell me how can this be done ? What equipment etc would my brother need to get this done ?? Thank You.
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lot of my cousins wedding we seen it live... i dont know exactly what the company name is... i need to google it and will let you know.. that time the price was 10k rupees... for couple of hours live program.. let me see if i can see the info on this for you..

breeze01, Dec 27, 2013

breeze01, Dec 27, 2013

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Dec 27, 2013 #26

Emal Senior IL'ite

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Thanks everybody. Each of your replies was worth reading again and again. I think I am leaning towards not going. I can put aside all the past but the present condition that I am in right now, I think I would end up making myself look bad, if something does not go well. I don't think I am in a position to deal with hurts rationally due to the hormonal changes.
I think its best to wish from far, get fit, and go when I am all well and can handle anything that comes my way.
Its a very emotional decision to make. I think about it like 100 times a day. But I need to make a decision for me and my baby.

Emal, Dec 27, 2013

Emal, Dec 27, 2013

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Dec 27, 2013 #27

Emal Senior IL'ite

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breeze01 said: ↑

lot of my cousins wedding we seen it live... i dont know exactly what the company name is... i need to google it and will let you know.. that time the price was 10k rupees... for couple of hours live program.. let me see if i can see the info on this for you..
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Thank You breeze01. That would be the best arrangement for me I believe.
I will wait to hear from you.

Emal, Dec 27, 2013

Emal, Dec 27, 2013

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Dec 27, 2013 #28

breeze01 Platinum IL'ite

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seemymarriage.com, thats one i seen my cousins wedding... just google it and see.. call them and talk and let you brother know if he will be interested in doing this for you so you get a chance to see his wedding without taking other risks and double doubts behind your mind..

breeze01, Dec 27, 2013

breeze01, Dec 27, 2013

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Dec 27, 2013 #29

breeze01 Platinum IL'ite

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hope this helps... see if it works out for you...

breeze01, Dec 27, 2013

breeze01, Dec 27, 2013

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Dec 27, 2013 #30

breeze01 Platinum IL'ite

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you can sign up in there and they will call you back and you can get some info and pass it to your brother....

breeze01, Dec 27, 2013

breeze01, Dec 27, 2013

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