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Shocked N Confused

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by paru123, Mar 7, 2021.

  1. paru123

    paru123 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi,
    I usually go out for a 1 hour walk in the evenings just to reduce a liitle weight gained during the lockdown and also to stay healthy. I walk through the roads near the market. I feel happy when I see a lot of faces (people returning from work/office), and also on the return way I can buy some vegetables.
    Yesterday, saw there was a sale of kurtis outside a garments shop and 3 or 4 females were checking it out. I just checked the XXl Size and my eyes fell upon a beautiful kurti. I opened to see if it would fit me and yes it was perfect. Most of the kurtis were very good over there n they were in L and XL sizes in majority. I wanted to see if I could buy one more and was checking the kurtis n sudenly the salesman started 'Amma , see this'. I was shocked to hear that, thought to myself do I look Amma to him?? I ignored, didnt react and went on with my business of selecting the kurtis. There were many choices in the smaller sizes and I asked him if they were available for my size. He said , no Amma. Again I ignored. Then he started showing some light dull colours xxl size and said Amma this is good, usage of Amma started to increase. I was being conscious then as ladies mostly in 20s started gathering. I told him Bhaiyaa show me dark colours. Again he showed a very huge size dress n said Amma this is also nice. I was thinking what is wrong with this fellow, even when i am calling him Bhaiya he is calling me Amma. Finally I selected 1 more. And he said payment is to be done inside the shop. This guy was standing outside with the sale kurtis.

    I was very much irritated with him. He just spoiled my mind. I am in my late thirties, and such people usually address me as bhabhi, didi or madam.

    I had my lower face covered with scarf. I was surprised why he was behaving so strange. Showing me all dull dresses and on top irritating by calling Amma. May be he got more commission if he got the dull ones sold. But the way he was addressing, he actually would never make any sales. Looked like he had some enemity with me. The kurtis were beautiful, otherwise I would not have bought from there.

    I am a stay at home mother and usually for walking or for running errands I dont dress up. In the hot humid climate , would be fully sweaty even after 10 minutes. I dont care about my looks and dress, but this guy made me think, do I really need to upgrade even for going walks. Since its corona time I didnt want to talk with him to correct his addressing.

    Still thinking do I look really that old to be called Amma. Or was he some enemy from my last birth or was he a fool to assume that jeans wearing ladies are young and kurta wearing ladies are elderly.
     
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  2. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

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    Have faced this situation too, maybe they’re addressing to give respect. Ignore his attitude, he is less educated and informed than you.
    I too have faced embarrassing situations with sales people especially sales girls, but now I don’t let it bother me..
     
    paru123 likes this.
  3. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:I saw a group of college girl in a modern show room of females dresses while my spouse and daughter were busy in a distant counter making selection .
    When the group approached a counter, a young sales man in his twenties called them in Tamil “Vanga Amana Vanga Amma” (வாங்க அம்மா வாங்க அம்மா)

    Among the group, a slim and tall girl in her jeans & top smilingly yet sharply responded saying, “ vanduttom appa vanduhtom“ (வந்துட்டோம் அப்பா, வந்துட்டோம்). The boy got the point. He was perplexed and began asking only “enna venum enna pakareenga”. ( என்ன வேணும்? என்ன பாக்கறீங்க?)
    I stood pleasantly surprised at her humorous yet acidic wit!
    Life is like that.

    GOD - HAPPY WOeMEN’s DAY!
     
  4. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:@Madhurima21
    Madhuri- ma Thanks for being here and granting a LIKE.
    No way you got ma in name itself.
    Excuse me - I can't help calling you ending with "ma".
    GOD BLESS.
    HAPPY WOeMEN's DAY.
     
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  5. AppuMom

    AppuMom Gold IL'ite

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    If the location is South India TN or KA addressing a woman amma is common..out of respect not related to age :) ..
     
  6. DDream

    DDream Platinum IL'ite

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    Instead of using 'Madam'' he used ' Amma'
    Some people use words similar to elder sister, even if they are older than you. In India, I use words similar to elder brother to address people in shops. Its just a polite/ respectable way, I guess. They use 'amma' to address even a girl. Be happy that he expressed his respect in some way :)
     
    rajicon1, SCA, paru123 and 2 others like this.
  7. Mistt

    Mistt IL Hall of Fame

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    Don't take his words seriously and May be he has the habit of address women as Amma regardless of their age. In India, I too say Amma to sales girls/women in shops or outside. So, go easy with that incident.
     
    SCA, paru123 and nandinimithun like this.
  8. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Don’t overthink it. Maybe he decided to err on the side of caution while addressing ladies. If you like the clothes and the shopkeeper is polite then buy. Don’t be shy in asking them to show you different pieces.
     
    paru123 likes this.
  9. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:#3 a rejoinder:

    An endearing word or phrase at the time of addressing or concluding dialogues is a custom in many places in India.
    “Hare ullu” “ ullu Ka pattay “ & “pahal ” in North are common form of addresses of accosting to express emotions of cordiality, anger, affection among close friends, families. “Paahal” too included. “befakoof & akkalmand” too could be used to address endearingly.
    Besides “Amma”, In Tamil Nadu one would come across similar words or phrases like “macchan ” “macchi” “Adi aathaa” “kas Malam “....
     
    paru123 likes this.
  10. hrastro

    hrastro Finest Post Winner

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    If you're in Hindi speaking cities, I can understand your shock. You could have asked him to call you beta or behen or madam - just say it firmly but politely.

    But, If you are a north indian and living in south India OR your kurtiwala is a south indian, this is very normal

    It is like "beta", "beti", "bacche" - I call all my girl students "Amma" and boy students "Kanna"

    Every daughter gets called "Talli" (Mother) by Andhrites..... especially by fathers.

    Even tamilians call their daughters "Amma" (Surprise surprise ! means Mother!) - and slowly, it just became "Ma"

    Most of our scriptures tell males to view every woman as "Mother" except their wife! So, it is inbuilt in them.

    You dont need to be confused and shocked, just tell them "Call me _____, dont call me Amma" ! You're their customer, so they will listen!
     
    Sandhya13, SCA and paru123 like this.

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