SHE - Episode 9

Hello Meena,

I think in a way I have not belied your expectations. You always thought that Jaggi was not good enough for her. And so the events are shaping up in your direction. But, meena, it's too early to judge. Anything can happen. (But trust me I dont have a say; for I have written up to Episode 14)

But Meena, you have started another discussion - Women are always the losers be it marriage or live-in. There are several reasons for that. We have a society which appreciates a single man but looks down upon (and in many cases looks down with lust) single woman. Secondly the society has reinforced a learning deep into the women's psyches that they are nothing without their man. That puts every woman in a hurry to get married.

And thirdly it is also due to a woman's making. It is just my thought, which many have expressed in different lines earlier, but I want to share it with you now, since you have raised that question.

Let's us take the case of a well-qualified woman in a good job. She earns something like Rs.50,000 per month. She is to be married now. Will she marry an unemployed man? Or at least let's say an artist , a writer or painter or a musician of uncertain earnings? She wont. She will be looking for a man who earns more than herself. On the other hand a man earning that kind of money might go in for a homemaker-wife.

If women can do that, then the male domination would end. I love to cite the example of a writer friend of mine. He did not have any useful job. But he is a very good writer. His wife was in a Government job. For some three years she supported him. And you will be surprised to read about their lives. She will get ready to go to office; he will help her with cooking and all household chores. He will drop their children at school, buy vegetables and groceries and take care of their house in the afternoons when she and children will be away.

He writes in a biographical essay that for a man to spend the afternoon of a working day at home doing nothing is a form of penance. Especially to endure the insulting looks of the women of neighbourhood, he says, require a lot of maturity.

The surest way to end the male domination is this - professional women, women in high jobs should come forward to marry unemployed men. Of course the person has to be of good character and should come from a good family.

Want to know yor views on that.
regards,

 

Dear TDU,

This is an open forum and you are absolutely free to use strong words against me or my writings. I wont say your words are strong.

I just want to say this. A good writer is not one who writes only about good things. A good writer is one who writes about what's happening around us. As a great poet once remarked,

கவிஞன்,
வானத்தில் பறக்கும் வானம்பாடிகளை
மட்டும் வர்ணிக்கக் கூடாது
புழுதியில் நெளியும் புழுக்களையும் பாட வேண்டும்

Many writers have written about prostitution. In Cho's Yaarukkum Vetkam Illai the heroine is a prostitute. That was a beautiful film about these women. We can write a poem on that film too:
நீங்கள் அழைத்ததும் வர
நான் ் சோவின் கதாபாத்திரம் இல்லையே!
Then we will be missing the whole point. Thats what I wanted to say. And simply because Cho wrote about prostitutes, we cannot say that he is encouraging us to visit those people.

Whatever is happening around us will not cease to happen simply because if I do not write about that. But we will be diminished in our awareness if we close our eyes to it. Thats why I brought in the live-in relationship into my story.
Things will happen irrespective of the fact whether Varalotti writes about it or TDU disapproves it. And it is high time that we take a look into what's happening.

Another thing TDU. Even now I subscribe to the view that marriage is the best form of relationship. But it is undergoing a lot of strain thanks to our lifestyles and thanks to our career-orientation, as a result of which husband is in one place and the wife is in another. A few people are experimenting with some alternative forms of man-woman relationship. I am not saying that "live-in" is going to be the ultimate thing. But experimenting with it, sooner or later, the society may find, not now, but in another five hundred years, something better.

Please bear with me if I have used hard words.
regards,

 

Dear Malathi,
Yes Shalini is in square one again. And the beauty of life is all of us keep returning to square one again and again. But between the first coming and the second coming (to square one) we are a whole lot wiser and matured. Of course, we also age in the process. But that's life.
Has Jaggi started showing his true colours? Will Shalini have to start all over again? Will you be proved wrong?
For answers to all these questions...well, I cant help saying, please wait for another 54 hours.
regards,

 

Dear Monsi,
Unpredictable and unknown are frightening territories. Before venturing into them we should have a full view of the predictable and the known. What happens if every turn in the story is unpredictable? It will be like the jilebi made by the cook other day, which was all too sweet.
I am afraid that the story will be going in the predictable route for a while till I deliver those messages which I want to convey. May be then it may take the unpredictable route. But this site is full of way too intelligent women. And many of them know me like the palm of their own hand. So I am afraid that any route I take there will still be some predictability.
I am happy that there is a silver lining to the dark cloud of your disappointment. I mean the narration and the style.
Thanks Monsi.
regards,

 

Dear Sudha,
I almost missed your post. I was busy drafting a reply for TDU who has immor(t)alised Shalini in one of his beautiful verses.
I know some of the rich families and compared to their lifestyle and spending what Shalini did is nothing. It takes all types of people to make up the world.
Several years ago I was part of Merger/Acquisition team which camped in Mumbai for a couple of days. It was during those days did I see the really super-rich. The lift opens up into the cabin. (Which you might be knowing I used in my serial). There were three good chaffeur driven cars to procure vegetables and groceries alone. The bosses had a helepad built in their house and their office for fast commuting.

The office had twenty flours. Each had a lady hospitality manager. During the course of the meeting I casually mentioned to one of those managers that I had to skip my breakfast. Within five minutes I was offered the choicest vegetarian food. I loved my stay there. But nothing beats the curd rice and "mor milakai" eaten with a good book at hand at your bedroom.
Don't worry, I'll put the necklace to good use.
I will have to of course warn all the ILites that this week also it will be quite predictable.

regards,

 

Dear TDU,
that's a very good observation. I apologise if I had hurt you. Your argument did add spice to this episode. Thanks for that.

regards,