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Sharing marital problems with opposite gender friends

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Rihana, Dec 30, 2013.

  1. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    What do you think about sharing marital problems with friends of opposite gender?

    IMO, a man sharing his marital problems with a female friend, or a woman sharing her marital problems with a male friend, is inviting trouble. That shoulder chosen to sob on, should ideally be of the same gender.




     
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  2. littl

    littl Platinum IL'ite

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    will not be a problem if the opposite gender always keeps himself in listening mode.
    But most of them will not stay like that so Your opinion is true Rihana.
     
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  3. sweetypi

    sweetypi Platinum IL'ite

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    deleted ......
     
    Last edited: Dec 31, 2013
  4. riya123

    riya123 Gold IL'ite

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    In my opinion one should be indifferent w.r.t gender when it comes to sharing problems. Honestly, I would go to a person with better problem solving ability and pragmatic approach to solve my problem (marital or any other related). I really don't get why it should be of the same gender?
     
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  5. Akanksha1982

    Akanksha1982 IL Hall of Fame

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    Rihana, nice topic as always.

    Reminds me of the movie "Mitr - my friend".

    I agree with you personally. However, I have seen that Caucasians are more open in this regard. They share glimpses of their personal life to either gender without any hesitation like in "I am upset today. I had a fight with my wife this morning" Then tell the complete story. I guess if someone is doing it on a regular/daily basis than it is definitely an issue.
     
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  6. droplet

    droplet Silver IL'ite

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    If one really want to share problems.. Better it is with same gender.
    It's even better to share problems in IL. Trusting a 'virtual' friend to a 'real' friend who can turn troublesome some time later
     
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  7. aashuabhi

    aashuabhi Gold IL'ite

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    I feel that sharing marital problems with opposite gender is not a good idea, howsoever close that friend be. I did this mistake once, when i shared it one of my friend whom i respected very much. But it went the wrong way, he thought may be I am not satisfied with my DH and he tried to fill in that place (which was not why i told him).

    I think its mainly because girls and boys have different thought process. While girls want only an ear to listen, boys take it as a situation to intervene and help.

    Well that case costed me a guilty ride and a good friend as well. So i think its better to share with same gender or may be a virtual forum like IL, where you have some trust that you will get a un-biased advice.
     
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  8. englishtutorjul

    englishtutorjul Silver IL'ite

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    Agree, but more of the opinion that, before even you share the problem with a friend of any gender, share it with your spouse first! :)
     
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  9. aashuabhi

    aashuabhi Gold IL'ite

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    You are absolutely right. First share the problem with your spouse, there is no better opposite gender person and friend to listen and guide.
     
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  10. coolwinds

    coolwinds Platinum IL'ite

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    simple. just share it on IL.
     
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