Hello friends, I tend to self-doubt myself in many situations and think that others are better than me. I feel this might be due to the conditioning of character during childhood and family reasons or a mix of many other factors. Have anyone in a similar situation been able to overcome this and become a more confident person, pls share what worked for you. I don't want to wait for that nod from others and get approval for what I do.
I have faced the same issue too...since childhood I had an inferiority complex and have spent many years being miserable and unhappy with myself.. Few things that worked for me- 1. Believing in myself , no matter what..I was always insecure about looks but always convinced myself about outer and inner beauty.. 2. Exploring my interests and hobbies and doing what I liked,, choosing the subject of my choice as a career option I liked it though job opportunities weren’t so great for the subject chosen for graduation. I liked being a good student in the course of my choice than to be average in some other field which is popular but for which I don’t have aptitude. 3. Expressed my views openly- made my likes and dislikes very clear and established boundaries so that I don’t end up doing what I don’t like and resent myself. 4. Avoiding toxic people - there are some people who ooze negativity and make you feel you are useless..no matter what. They just suck the positivity out of you and make you feel inferior. Just avoid them no matter what. Very important. 5. Not giving in to peer pressure and doing what I like and living life on my terms. 6. Associating myself with people who genuinely cared and appreciated me and made me feel good about myself. I still have issues with self esteem but These things help me to manage.
Been there, done that. You are in self doubt for some reason, and that makes you feel inferior and unhappy about your self for quite some times. You can't come out of this just like that by believing in yourself or not giving into the peer pressure. While it is a good idea, in reality it is nearly impossible to start believing in yourself just like that or avoiding toxic people. It takes sincere effort, support, motivation and a purpose to be motivated. Therefore, find your purpose! For me, finding my dream job and getting paid to be independent in life was the key change. This independence made me think beyond the circle of people who use to think and act for me in the past. When I started going out for work, I also started meeting new people who were non-judgmental. I heard different things from different people which made me realize who I am. There were people who thought I looked beautiful, and my skin is perfect and flowless. There were people who admired my skills, my talent and appreciated me for who I was. There were people who were jealous on me and whatever the blessings I had in life. There were people who valued me, tried to possess me and what not. And this made me realize how important I was, and how precious my being was. Such thoughts do not come just like that, but it is a process and it has to come from within through your experiences. The moment you realize your self worth, your life will change. Additionally, you can going to the gym, do something creative, learn a language or a course. The success of each tasks will release a chemical called dopamine in your brain. This is what makes you feel good about yourself, and generate happiness around you. The happy and confident you will not wait other's approval for anything. Just be you.
@abc00, The attitude seeking approval from others is a definitive sign of lack of self-confidence. It happened to me because I was the second and last child in my family and everyone including my father, mother, and brother keep telling me that I am innocent/ignorant and hence need to be provided advice to make decisions even after I grew up into an young adult capable of making decisions. They didn't realize it affected my self-confidence a lot and I started seeking appreciation from others in the world when I started making my own action. I was not taking criticism well. The best approach to remove self-doubt is to do the following: 1) Make your own decisions irrespective of whether it is right or wrong. If it doesn't produce right results, review where you went wrong and don't repeat that mistake again. 2) Never take criticism from others or appreciation from others into your heart and make your own evaluation of your actions. 3) Make affirmation to yourself that you are capable and you were created to function independently as a good human being and your skills are unique and different from others with no one who can match that. 4) Please tell others who provide you advise that you would evaluate their advise and make a decision yourself irrespective of who that is. 5) Find things that you are good at and keep developing those skills further to make yourself outstanding in those skills. 6) Learn new things that you didn't know about and spend more time to master it and feel good about it. 7) Never hesitate to ask questions about something you didn't know and don't consider that as lack of knowledge. It is just not an area that you didn't know well until that time. 8) Never compare yourself with others as each one is unique and different. Benchmarking with someone who is your ideal to follow should be limited to learn things and not become that person as you have your own skillset. 9) When you are successful never expect others to say great things about you. Some may be genuine to apprecaite you while others may do this to get something out of you. Some may be outright jealous and keep criticizing you no matter what. Ignore all of that and set your own goals to move forward in your life. All the best.
