Sexual Harassment - A Life Ended

I'm sure nothing will happen to the harasser.

 

This is so heartbreaking! I hope the parents find some peace!

About 6-7 years ago, a 6-year old girl in another school that borders my son's school was molested by a staff. The entire local community was shocked - little kids were asking questions like "what is rape" - that was the time I met up with a few friends, created a questionnaire for kids to have open communication about good/bad touch, I had even created a website about it. I went to schools with this content, got it whetted by the counsellors and conducted awareness workshops!! I even went to the Childline director and spoke to him about how they responded so that I could give genuine info to the kids.
Even my son's school and nearby schools created awareness programs in school and talked about these things openly.

During the workshops we asked the kids to bring their teddy bears to point out what is good touch, what is bad touch.... and did some roleplays on how to react, we spoke about having a password for a parent or trusted adults. We gave ideas on what steps they should take in various situations.

One of the little girls asked - but aunty why would they WANT to touch us there? Such innocence! Are we spoiling their innocence?

But another little girl who used to regularly visit one uncle of hers, confided to her mom how that uncle used to touch her... It was so heartbreaking to see the parents - I was wondering if we did the right thing by conducting the workshops - is it better to know than be in the dark ??

The world is so cruel! In case of sexual violence, the victim is the one who is made to feel like an untouchable, ashamed and dirty!

The childline director asked me a question - "When someone is in a road accident, people sympathise and help kindly. But when the same child is a victim of molestation, they suddenly need to leave the school, city, hide somewhere or start a new life or just expected to DIE, Why? Why cant we treat them like an accident survivor?"
And the case is worse with boys who are molested - the little boys are accused of "enjoying" it or worse, encouraging it!

There needs to be a massive awareness drive sensitising people about sexual violence ! And not just hype and empty sloganeering!

 

@Metamorphic,

In my opinion, the shame and fear comes because of the following:

1) Somehow, this subject is beyond discussion among the children and parents based on the society we have built.
2) The marriage for a woman becomes difficult if there is a known harassment. Despite it didn't happen because of the negligence by the child or parents, finally, the impact is in the life of that particular child.

The societal norms we have created over generations is causing this unbearable pain and sufferings to the children.

1) In my view, every parent should not stop explaining good and bad touch but go beyond that to explain what requires detailed sharing with the parents. As a matter of fact, the parents should create an environment at home for the children to share any information freely and not necessarily difficult situations. This will ease the children to discuss it freely with the parents. Some of them may be comfortable sharing it only with the mother. Even then, the parents should operate in unity in such situation and make it clear to the child that both parents will be involved in further actions.

2) The society must openly embrace discussions of this type and shouldn't revictimize the children who had already encountered physical, pyschological, and emotional abuse. The society should understand that it can happen to any child. Frankly, there should be awareness among men and boys about this issue and even they should pull out those who are responsible for such crimes and publicly shame them for their crimes. There shouldn't be any attempts to sweep it under the carpet no matter who is involved in this whether it is uncle or grandfather or neighbor or even a boy in the society.

Innocent life lost due to societal issue is unbearable pain to all of us and the parents will carry that guilt for their life time. Crime against the children are prosecuted so strongly in all the countries. Unfortunately, in a conservative societies, most such crimes are never reported due to this kind of fear and shame. It can be removed only by making changes in the society more than legislative efforts.

 

@Rihana,

Very wise decision by the parent's instinct. I have heard at leaset 2 instances of the children getting sick or finding reasons to do a certain activity or refusing to visit someone's house. There was a girl who used to work as a maid in India and she particularly was crying and refusing to work in a specific house when her mom asked to go. When we interfered in getting to the bottom of it, we found the real reason and then, her mom instead of reporting it to the police decided to confront the man in that house that resulted in him leaving that rented house once and for all.

One of my friend's daughter used to visit her uncle's place for holidays. Every time, she had to make that trip, she reported breathing issues and asked her mom to stay up with her all night as she was nervous. Luckily, a neighbor of this particular uncle was caught because he had an extra-marital relationship with another man's wife and has moved out of the town once and for all. After that, she was able to go to her uncle's place without any fear or shame.

The children do communicate but through some other means instead of being verbal in such situations.