Servant Maid Issues

am also facing the same issues...
may be experienced persons can shed some lights !!

 

This is in response to the Op and the post in reply thereto. I have been fortunate in that, i have been having the same maid now, for nearly 20 years. From the issues, listed by you, i would say they are not of any major consequence if we know how to handle them. First thing is that maids are also humans, with the same sort of family issues, personal issues etc. Just because we are paying them to do our work, it does not mean that they just have to do their work and get out and not voice their opinions. As far as we are concerned, as the maid has been there for so long, she is almost family in that , she knows everything that is going on in our house. Only thing, we ensure that we dont keep valuables where they may be tempted , or discuss financial issues in front of them. Same way, i would suggest, in the beginning till the maid settles down, just be courteous and get your work done - neither too overly friendly not too cut and right. You can ignore things like suggestions to buy things etc. When things of use to them like clearing liquids, broom, mops etc need to be changed, it is natural for them to suggest getting new ones etc. You can go with it if u feel essential or say u will get it when required. No need to get upset about all this. Little things like giving them special items cooked on festival days etc, will make them feel some affection which will in turn lead to them working willingly for you. Nowadays maids and their families are also upwardly mobile, in the sense that they would be educating their children etc - alittle help occasionally has really helped in the long run i feel. Hope this helps. All the best

 

What you are saying is correct about maintaining balance between being too friendly that they take for granted. But some things are not really a problem.

• It is absolutely natural for them to ask for vim/broom etc when it is getting over.We can't micromanage too much if they need that to do their work properly surely they will ask.
• You can just advice/demonstrate them how to be more judicious in use and nothing more you can do.
• They can decide in how the house is to be run in aspects that involve their work directly. If they are giving unsolicited advice about things that do not concern them, then you have to make it clear it's unacceptable.

One thing, we must treat all as equal- you can't expect to maintain strictness thinking she's a maid. Maintaining professional relationship is key.

• No need to be too friendly and talk about your life with them or in front of them also. Just be empathetic when needed.
• After-all it is just a profession and service they are providing doesn't mean we have right to be strict or behave like master.
• Think from their perspective- just a working lady like you with similar life and problems. Only difference is her work is much harder and pay much lesser.
• Be compassionate if they really need leaves- after-all even our organised sector jobs provide us with many leaves apart form weekends.
• In India, maids gets paid much less than they deserve. It may look like only 45 minutes a day work to you , but you would any-day prefer a 12 hour/day corporate job to doing their work in someone else's home, right? So have appreciation for that .
• A little bit of compassion and gestures on special occasions go a long way.

 

From your response, it looks like your husband might have given some vibe to the maids that they can take him for granted.Generally men in the house maintain a very grave attitude and absolute distance from maids. Whatever tiff happens only between the lady of the house. Usually men would never intervene unless some very serious issue. nor do the maids speak to the men that way. (Unless the man is primarily managing the maids in some house that's a different case).
If it has repeated with multiple maids, you need to ask your DH to check his behavior in front of maids (towards them or even towards you).

 

In that case I find fault with the maid only, especially the second one is weird to call your husband irresponsible and all.Glad you asked her to leave.I found major problems with the second maid only so you can't blame yourself just your luck that a maid turns out like that.
First maid was somewhat fine and the situations described are not so uncommon and you could ignore.

 

@amnilakshmi, i could understand your pain...since am sailing in the same boat.

to add some more fuel, my maid complained my dad about me stating 200% false information's (FYI the maid was from hometown and sent by my dad) she told that your daughter is very bad where as Son in Law is very good.
He recorded all the conversations and he sent to me, when I heard , all the works stated as done by her were really done by my lil ones and me.

we should be very careful before choosing and also be to the point.
I used to give 15-20 days of paid leaves.
whenever we are going to home town (max 40 days once) - we use to book to and fro ticket for her so that she doesnot need to go alone or take care of things etc...
apart from that my dad used to help her son and daughter in some way such as studies / jobs etc
for my son;s birthday -some money + dress.
for diwali - dress
apart from that small things every month...needy items.


May be there are some more managerial things that am yet to learn.. in past 6 years, i changed 4 in-house maids..