1. Want to be a Positive Parent? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Would you like to join the IL team? See open jobs!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  4. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

Separation Anxiety?

Discussion in 'Infants' started by sumanr, Jun 2, 2010.

  1. loonypooh

    loonypooh Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,436
    Likes Received:
    29
    Trophy Points:
    90
    Gender:
    Female
    ramya, of all the places i read,they say make sure the baby knows u are leaving....keep doing it for a while,till it becomes a routine for her.they say never simply disappear...heres more

    Always say goodbye. Kiss and hug your baby when you leave and tell him where you're going and when you'll be back, but don't prolong your goodbyes.

    Always say goodbye: Part 2. Resist the urge to sneak out the back door. Your baby will only become more upset if he thinks you've disappeared into thin air.

    Keep it light. Your baby is quite tuned in to how you feel, so show your warmth and enthusiasm for the caregiver you've chosen. And don't cry or act upset if your baby starts crying — at least not while he can see you. You'll both get through this. The caregiver will probably tell you later that your baby's tears stopped before you were even out of the driveway.

    Once you leave, leave. Repeated trips back into the house or daycare center to calm your baby will make it harder on you, your child, and the caregiver.

    ramya,thankfully DH will be working from home, but i still wonder how she wld be without me....my work hours are crazy too!:hide:
     
  2. lee50

    lee50 Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,036
    Likes Received:
    15
    Trophy Points:
    75
    Gender:
    Female
    Ramya,

    I get up by 7.30 am give DD a bath then play with her, give her b/f and then give her a tight hug. I take her in my arms as if I am taking her to office she gets bluffed then I quickly say I will come in the evening and she agrees and says ta ta. You can also show her favorite toy and play with her before leaving so that she is happy then.

    Ramya DD does search for me on and off, thank god she does not get up coz I quickly nurse her. The weather is getting a bit cold her, I presume that could be the reason of her getting up frequently yesterday as we were just below the fan.

    All sleep tantrums will continue till three years from the feedback I get from experienced mother in my family and here, so Hang in.
     
  3. mridusudha

    mridusudha Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,269
    Likes Received:
    36
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Gender:
    Female
    Ramya,

    Didn't you read the link from Baby center I posted in my earlier reply??

    That has got good tips of when and what to do while leaving for work..


     
  4. sumanr

    sumanr Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,064
    Likes Received:
    5
    Trophy Points:
    55
    Gender:
    Female
    Sudha - I read your link only now. Thanks.
    Thanks Poonam, Sudha and Lee - We are a big family and DD feels very lonely when all of us leave at once (8.30-10.00AM) and she is alone with MIL. Thinking of how I can make it better ...
     
  5. sumanr

    sumanr Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,064
    Likes Received:
    5
    Trophy Points:
    55
    Gender:
    Female
    Guys - Need help, again.

    DD has been crying uncontrollably at nights. You all know that she is never a good sleeper and I was waiting for things to settle for her. Now, I do not knwo if it is a sleep issue or a separation issue.

    She is a very happy baby, she does not cry when I leave (I wonder why ...she used to cry, but these days, she clutches my dupatta and when i take her hand away 2-3 times, she kind of accepts it and turns her face away ....I just feel like killing myslef then). She is good with MIL/mom and plays with everyone at home. When I get back in the evening she will not leave me for over 30 min and when is sure that I will not go back, she is relaxed again.

    But at nights, she gets cranky when sleepy (all kids do that). Once I put her to sleep, she cries, wails, shouts, whimpers almost every 15-30 min. I have to keep patting her ....NO ONE else can touch her. She does all this with eyes closed. And sometimes I just say "Kutti, sleep...I am near you" she will immediately fall asleep. It is as though she wants to confirm if I am around :drowning. I am only worried that she is not having a peaceful sleep.

    What can I do? I do not want of take off from work as she will have a problem the day I join back. Should I come early and spend more time? How can I reassure here?
     
  6. Vishalini3

    Vishalini3 Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,083
    Likes Received:
    6
    Trophy Points:
    53
    Gender:
    Female
    Ramya, cant help much, but i have same suggestions again, this looks like separation anxiety to me, more than sleep issue. If you have ruled out things like - tummy bug, teething, new milestone, stranger anxiety, then it is separation anxiety. Carry her all the time when you are at home, hugging, cuddling, playing together, all makes the baby happy. Before sleep, try to spend 1hr with her, playing and carrying. If you are not doing massages, try them too, that has a skin-skin contact, babies would feel a lot letter mentally this way. My DD had this issue when i was working then, i used to be back home by 7pm, do nothing till 9pm, but to spend time with her, massage her, bath, feed, play and then lul her to sleep. If at all i come late, or attend a phone call, talk to mom, DH, etc, she would do the same whimpering episode in the nights. She was fine when i was away, mornings too she never cried when i waved bye, when evenings she expected every min of my attention.
     
  7. healthonmove

    healthonmove Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    248
    Likes Received:
    44
    Trophy Points:
    100
    Gender:
    Female
    When you're anxious about something (work, relationship or exam), it can help to comprehend what the worst end result could be. Even if it goes terribly wrong, chances are that you’ll live! Sometimes the worst that can occur is a panic attack. Avoiding fear is not a solution to anxiety. Each time fears are faced, it becomes easier to cope with the next time they strike. In the end they are no longer a problem. The fear will flee the more you chase it.
     
  8. vjbunny

    vjbunny IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    4,873
    Likes Received:
    1,809
    Trophy Points:
    315
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi Suman...
    Though this feedback is very late... I would like to put my two cents here I think your leaving her has psyched her so when you put her to sleep sing lullaby or talk something or even better tell story though baby may not understand but it will just assure her that you are with her.....
     

Share This Page