Send-off

Send-off

Anuj was proudly sitting on the Chair which held CenterStage and was shaking his legs with a broad smile gazing around everyone proudly waiting for his much-awaited break.

Having a break is the most wonderful thing in life. Right from childhood to adult, we all need a break, he thought to himself. Reminiscing took over him as he witnessed the bouquet of flowers being kept before him.

He also kept preparing for the speech he prepared to give before everyone.

“Doing what you like is freedom. Liking what you do is happiness.” He remembered this quote he read somewhere. His mind kept wandering like a cloud.

As a child, Anuj remembered his initial school days where there used to be two recesses in between. He loved going to school just for that two recess. There used to be a mad scramble with his friends pushing each other and having fun. Then it got curtailed to one recess. Yet the days where there used to be P.T. sessions, drawing and craft were fun. Right after school, Anuj remembered his mad scramble for home where the neighbourhood kids would be waiting eagerly to play. There was this watchman called Nandar Singh. He had a huge belly and was a favourite among the students as he was the one who rang the school bell. Anuj always felt that Nandar Singh existed for ever. Nandar Singh must have retired now or may have even died, who knows. He was quite a character. Anuj loved cartoons and envied Walt Disney, the animator. Disney could just create a entertainment world for others, where he can create and cast characters and discard as he liked.

After a while, school days ceased to be fun. The uniforms and the discipline were a bit stifling. The syllabus and studies took a toll on Anuj. He started dreaming of his College Days. College days meant fun. There were no uniforms, no schedules. Anuj can bunk freely and yet not bother about not missing his lectures as he could catch up with the same in the evening tuitions where the same College teachers used to come. Whole day in college meant casual flirting, canteens, Carrom and Table Tennis. College life was like a wind, he never knew when it started and ended.

The academic days were over. Anuj started preparing for Government exams and luckily got into one after few attempts. Life was all set. A Government Service was the perfect aspiration for any average Indian as it meant steady pay and leave, lot of marriage options and dowry. He was the most sought-after Groom and chose a pretty wife. Life was just perfect for Anuj more than he could have asked for. A son and a lovely daughter followed soon after marriage and Anuj even got his promotions.

Once Anuj crossed the age of 50, the same job looked boring for him. His children grew bigger and he got bogged down with the future of their education. When everything was getting set, he was transferred to Delhi. His office started looking like a hindrance.

From living at own home to a dilapidated Government Quarters, life took quite a U turn. He kept his family safe in Mumbai but living alone carries along with it both freedom and liabilities. He could remember his daughter keeping calling him regularly over video call and bring tears to his eyes. His wife would often crib over his son not paying attention to studies. Anuj had to manage his own food and kitchen. He could remember a day when slab fell from the kitchen ceiling and he barely escaped. He had to switch to a rental accommodation. He slipped on the floor one day and his hand fell over the sharp tiles and got deeply cut. There was blood all over the floor. He was feeling dizzy and there was no one around. He just wrapped a towel around and ran all the way to the hospital.

Four years passed away in Delhi like hell. Anuj somehow managed to come back to home at Mumbai but life was not same as before. Anuj got tired of the daily travel up and down to office and back. The bosses above him were younger than him yet behaved with no respect. He did not like to be shouted at for small mistakes. After all he deserved respect for his years of service in Government Service. The younger colleagues seemed to have no values and work culture. Anuj remembered his school days where everything was at the control of the school teacher. How he felt so comfortable at the protective gaze of his teachers and his parents in those days. He felt the pain of missing the happiness he had before. He tried to call up his schoolmates and was soon included in WhatsApp groups where they tried to have banter and fun.

The school reunions happened. Anuj’s classmates got in touch with him and invited him for reunion. He went there with lot of excitement but found no charm to be amidst his friends with grey or bald hair. Their tastes had changed so drastically that he felt totally out of place. Anuj suddenly remembered how he got flowed away in life and in the process his father and mother appeared merely like a shadow. His father played chess regularly with him and they used to watch cricket and tennis together. Mother cooked delicious dishes. Anuj was the only pampered son of his parents. Whenever, he felt sad, he remembered his mother grab his hand in hers and hold it to her chest and stroke his hair.

Alas there was no phone those days, and he did not have much snaps of his parents. There were only few photo albums or was it really there or misplaced? Anuj thought of finding it out. In search of elusive happiness and that final break, Anuj thought he kept travelling all along in life but left away many who really cared for him at stations.

Anuj was getting bored and wanted a break from all these. He wanted to live independently on his free will and pursue traveling and writing. He started counting the years towards his retirement. The early 30 years of his employed life seemed to have moved so fast but his last six years seemed to drag around. He wished to break free from the cocoon of this trapped life and be with his wife and children happily for the rest of his life. He thought of going with his wife to Goa. He remembered their first honeymoon at Goa. Life was so happy. He sought a break wherever he went but did he really give a break for his dear wife who stood behind him through thick and thin, Anuj wondered.

Only two years remained in service. His son had got into a good private job and his daughter was completing education. Anuj was a proud father and was beaming with pride. Yet his last two years was not destined to be completed. He had a big showdown with his new boss who had taken over recently on transfer from another branch. Anuj thought enough is enough and applied for Voluntary Retirement.

Things started changing after he applied for VRS.His boss began to treat with love and respect. His colleagues showered admiration for Anuj. They all convinced him to take back his voluntary retirement and continue service. Anuj felt on top of the world and kept thinking how the office will suffer at his absence. He did not heed to any requests for continuing in service and finally got relieved on Voluntary Retirement. In his quest for the elusive break and moment of eternal happiness, he thought he lost 58 years of his life.

A gentle arm around his shoulders shook Anuj from his flashback of life. He stood from his Chair and looked at his colleagues who had gathered around and kept cheering. He woke up to the reality and felt proud of the occasion. He chuckled within himself that from tomorrow without his presence everyone in office will be in trouble for some reason.

The send off function went on happily. His bosses paid glowing tributes to his illustrious career while his colleagues showered him with gifts. Anuj was in tears. He felt a void. He felt bad how his wonderful colleagues really missed him. He promised to himself to go to office often to meet his colleagues and even offer advise and help to them.

A week after his retirement, Anuj found himself in the local train to his office. He was choked with memories of his wonderful colleagues and eager to meet his boss. As he got down from his local to proceed to office, he was in recap mode. As he went inside the office, two to three colleagues greeted him. He took out a chair and sat next to them and had a chat. He felt a sense of void and could make out that there was not much camaraderie and his colleagues just appeared to go through their motions. Anuj got up and proceeded to meeting his boss.

The Personal Assistant to his Boss smiled at him and she made him seated at her room. She looked beautiful and sexy. Whenever Anuj saw her, he remembered his colleague in his younger days with whom he had a crush. He kept wondering where she could be now and what she must be doing. Must she be looking as beautiful as she was in their younger days.

Meanwhile the Personal Assistant was speaking to his Boss over intercom and informed that Anuj had come. She kept the phone down and smiled at Anuj.

“The Boss is busy preparing for some Conference. He will meet you some other day. Do keep coming.”

Anuj smiled at himself. He realized he was wrong. There was no purpose for him to be at this office anymore. He was waiting for the deserved break all along and did not want to postpone his happiness anymore. He was to pursue his own hobby of travelling and writing and living life around his wife and children on his own terms. It is time for a new direction.


Written by

Suresh Iyer