Scared to get In-laws for delivery

Ask them to come when the baby is a few months old. Not a good idea to have guests coming during the delivery. That is a time you want to be with your dh and baby. The grandparents can wait.

 

Since DH acknowledges MIL will not be able to work, can you call your mother? I think you would need help with housework, and people to care for you during your pregnancy, which your mom can do best. If MIL can't help, don't have her over. Call her some time later, when you have regained your strength, and can do daily chores.

As for taking care of baby, there are enough books on the subject. Start reading them now itself. Talk to your friends, about their experiences. Discuss with the doctor if you have any specific queries/concerns.

 

OP,
Plenty of people manage on their own after having kids. Are you working?
It is nice to have family if they can provide help and moral support, but if this is going to cause more tension why invite them? Is your husband insisting? If he is not particular don't push the subject.
As long as you and your husband work as a team, you should be able to manage with the new baby. Invest in at least a cleaning service for a few months before and after delivery. If you have ladies who make and deliver Indian food that may also be helpful And you can invite grandparents when the child is a bit older.
Take care of yourself and do not increase your stress at this time. Prepare as much as you can before the baby comes. I am sure you will get plenty of advice from the experienced moms here.

 

I have a similar situation. I am 5 and half months along and my in laws are planning to come for the delivery. My mom is willing to come but my parents just left 4 months ago from US. Now, if I call my mom again, my in laws have trouble accepting the fact that my parents are visiting us back to back but they (my in laws) aren't getting a chance to come. I am having nightmares and just cannot fathom the fact that my MIL will be around me during the childbirth. She is the most careless person I have ever seen especially with the kids. I have a 4 yr old boy with whom my mil was extremely careless when he was 9 months old. She dropped him from a counter which was 30 ft high and when I confronted her, she said she saw him falling down but didn't really want to stop him as kids learn that way. She always tried to push him down the stairs and bang the automatic doors at him when he is playing close to the door. Each time, the Almighty saved my kid. She left him in the car seat when I was away in a pool of poop for more than two hrs that he had such bad rashes that he started bleeding. I am scared to have them here for the birth of my second kid. My husband is not understanding my point of view and feels that I am over reacting. She never feeds me nor does any help. She feels I am a less of a woman as I had C-Section with my first one. She feels I will not have any pains with C-section and I need not stay home on maternity for three months. She is more worried about the money that I wouldn't be earning during that period. Although I will be getting paid but it won't be a full pay. She snoops around my stuff when I am not in the house, and does tell me that she has checked my stuff when I was gone. So, this time around as I will be home on maternity, she feels she might not get a chance to do that. Plus she is already asking me to look for a maid to help me with the chores. She told me during my first pregnancy that she cannot take care of me. But is reluctantly willing to come this time as my husband wants her to come. I don't know what to do. I DO NOT want her to come. No matter how many times I try to explain my husband, he seems to not see my point of view at all. How do I handle this? I feel I should look for a shelter home during that time as I want my maternity to be stress free and not so stressful with her living with me under the same roof.

 

And pregnancy/delivery is not a sickness, you can function normally and do the normal chores and activities.

 

OP, call ONLY your mom during the delivery. It doesn't require an experience to take care of a baby. Moreover, you will need your mom for support and moral. Your mom can help you and your husband with cooking food or other normal household chores. You need stress free and supportive environment during post partum else it can lead to frustrations, depression.


If your mom cannot make it for whatever reasons, prefer not calling anyone for your peace of mind. Many couples pull it off all by themselves. Look for hiring help/ housekeeping maid for about 15 days to 1 month post delivery. You can get tiffins for lunch and dinner. Read newborn care book or look up online articles, that should be helpful.

Prefer calling your in laws once the baby is little older.

 

@kapoors,

Since you have difficulty convincing your husband, tell him that you need peaceful, stress free environment and you need your mom by your side. He is not going into labor and delivering a child, you are doing it so you should have freedom to chose whom you want to be with during the delivery.
Your mom may come for initial 2 months to help and then his parents come later so that they get to play with the baby.

I don't buy that argument that your parents just left so they can't come back. Here the reason is different. If I am in your place, I would chose to not call anyone rather than having someone who adds into your trouble. You are working, hire a help if need arises.

 

Wow!... Kids dont learn anything falling from 30 ft!!!!.

 

why do woman treat pregnancy and child birth like a disease, you live in the US and hence have washing machines, dishwashers etc. If you DH can help you, you don't need anyone else. You will regret your MIL coming