santa jokes

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by Saideeps, Feb 19, 2009.

  1. Saideeps

    Saideeps Bronze IL'ite

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    Sardar to his servant: Go and water the plants.
    Servant: It’s already raining.
    Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.

    ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ______
    Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -
    What will come first, Chicken or egg?
    O Yaar, what ever U order first, will come first.

    ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ________
    A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
    He wrote ‘DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!’

    ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ________
    Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet
    Sardar: - why did U come so far. Instead U could Have posted it….

    ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ________
    A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce.
    Judge asked: How’ll U divide your kids, U’VE 3 children?
    Sardar replied: Ok! We’ll apply NEXT YEAR

    ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _
    Sardar’s wish: when I die, I wana die like my Grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not Screaming like all d passengers in d car he was Driving..
    ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ________
    A Teacher lecturing on population:
    ‘In India after every 10 secs a women gives birth to a kid. ‘
    A Sardar stands up- ‘We must find & stop her!. ‘
    ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

    A man: ‘Sardarji, tell me, why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in the evening not in the morning?’
    Sardarji: ”Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM”.

    ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ________
    Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
    The Chinese friend just says ‘CHIN YU YAN’ and dies.
    Sardarji goes to China to find the meaning of his friend’s last Words.
    And finds It means ‘U R STANDNG ON the OXYGEN TUBE!’
    ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

    Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed.
    His wife asked what you are doing.
    He said-I am seeing how I look while sleeping.

    ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ________
    Why did Sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it?
    Guess what…
    To avoid side effects!!!

    ____________ _________ _________ _________
    Man: Sardarji where were U born?
    Sardarji: Punjab .
    Man: Which part?
    Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body Is born in Punjab Yaar’.

    ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ________
    Lawyer to Sardar: ‘Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke…… ‘
    Sardar :’Yeh kya, sita pe haath lagaya to court mein Bulaya. Ab fir gita pe haath!!’
    ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _
    A Sardar saw a beautiful girl… He went and kissed her….
    Girl said- ‘What R U doing…?’
    Sardar replied- ‘ B.COM from Khalsa college, Chandigar’

    ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ________
    Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing Me.
    I don’t know how she got my no, she interrupts whenever I call someone and says ‘please recharge your card’
    ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __

    A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a Sardarni painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.
    She showed him the instructions on the tin, ‘For Best Results put on Two Coats’

    ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ________
    A sardar was drawing money from ATM,
    The sardar behind him in the line said, ‘Ha! Ha! Haaa! I’ve seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****). ‘
    The first sardar replies, ‘Ha! Ha! Haaa! U R wrong, Its 1258′
    ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________

    Q:) How do U recognize a sardar in school or College???
    A:) They are the ones who erase their notebooks when the teacher erases the blackboard.. . BOLO tarara!!

    ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ________
    Q:) Why did the sardarji sleep with a scale?
    A:) Because he wanted to measure how long he has Slept……. .
    ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

    Santa Singh MBBS
    After finishing his MBBS, Dr. Santa Singh starts his Own practice.
    He checked his first patient’s Eyes, then the tongue, and finally the Ears using a torch.
    Finally he said Battery is Ok !!!
     
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