S**

lakshmi888 · Feb 3, 2022

OP, tell ur husband u dont get turned on as he abuses you ...

emotional abuse is also disgusting on all levels....

he doesn't take care of your financial exprense n all n still u r doing all housewife duty..n doesnt help in child rearing or househld help...

he wont get such a good deal in his next marriage if he decides to go for it so he keeps his old ways in this almost dead marriage

EagerForInfo · Feb 10, 2022

mitali123 said: ↑

Such issues could be handled by person to person conversation. Most of the time its just hesitation fueled by some form of ego that prevents the couples from even bringing up the topics. He may have some vision or expectations from you just like you have and that needs to be talked out. Its not unusual for men to behave like what you have said however just a look inwards may reveal that there could be certain things you could do and extend yourself towards him giving him an indication. Plain vanilla $** is something modern couples no longer cherish atleast in urban societies. Gone are the days when just turning off the lights would indicate turning other things on. As a couple both need to adjust.
Often times we women , under some social or mental stress pull ourself back. Try extending your limits and see if he responds .. atleast talking about likes and preferences wouldn't hurt in any way. Its easier to blame the partner and it could be right in many scenarios but take a look inwards and see ..you could be a reason too for his behavior. I didn't mean to offend anyone but given the limited info this is the best i could suggest from my end. All the best
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Sure. I am looking for everyone’s opinions even if it is directed towards me. Thank you for the response.

EagerForInfo · Feb 10, 2022

SGBV said: ↑

Your marriage doesn't have respect, equal sharing, decent communication and sex.
Those are the major aspects of any marriage, but it seems your marriage lacks them all.

You have 2 options here

1) Speak to your husband. Tell him what is lacking in this marriage, including sex. Work out with him by finding a middle ground. See, whether this plan works for you or not. If not, walk out of this marriage.

2) Be prepared for another bombardment from your H. He can find pleasure in someone else, and chose an EMA to meet his basic sexual needs.
It can be a valid reason for separation if none of your other problems are considered valid.

Sex is not just important for a man, but for a woman in any marriage. If the couple go years of sexless marriage, and sleep in different rooms (and I guess no physical touch like hugs or kisses altogether), then the marriage is already dead.

As a result, you may find him emotionally attached to someone else. Currently he is attached to his parents, sister, niece & nephew. In future someone else could fill up this emptiness and it can be anyone.

He shares his life, his emotions, his money, his pleasure and sorrows with outsiders. So, he is being truthful to them. Sends them money and gives them royal treatment. Whereas he shares nothing with you. Not even his salary or support at the home front.

When the basic essence of a marriage is lost, there is no point in complaining.

See, whether you can fix this marriage from all the fronts and whether the effort is even worth it.
If not, kindly prepare your mind for separation. It is better to be prepared before you are forced to separate
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He shares his life, his emotions, his money, his pleasure and sorrows with outsiders. So, he is being truthful to them. Sends them money and gives them royal treatment.

exactly this is what

EagerForInfo · Feb 10, 2022

EagerForInfo said: ↑

He shares his life, his emotions, his money, his pleasure and sorrows with outsiders. So, he is being truthful to them. Sends them money and gives them royal treatment.
exactly this is what
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I couldn’t have put it in a better way. This is exactly what’s happening.
But he is the one who has separated himself works long hours doesn’t let me come to his room he doesn’t let me chat and I do go to his room he says I’m checking on him. Spends all night on the phone. Day and night at work.

DDream · Feb 11, 2022

EagerForInfo said: ↑

I couldn’t have put it in a better way. This is exactly what’s happening.
But he is the one who has separated himself works long hours doesn’t let me come to his room he doesn’t let me chat and I do go to his room he says I’m checking on him. Spends all night on the phone. Day and night at work.
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Obviously, he dont have any bonding with you.Whats there to hide? Is he faithful?

EagerForInfo · Feb 11, 2022

DDream said: ↑

Obviously, he dont have any bonding with you.Whats there to hide? Is he faithful?
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That is the same thing I am breaking my head to find out.

rosequeen · Apr 1, 2022

EagerForInfo said: ↑

My husband complains we don’t have enough s***. That is true cause he is never home he is on the phone till 4 am. I sleep with kids. I get lonely tired but I still do. It’s been years.
But he complains with outsiders.

Even in daytime be torments me saying I’m lazy making fun of me. So I don’t like spending time with him.

is it my fault for years of no sex. He did not let me get tubal during my c section. He did not help with kids. Why should I let him give me another baby.

There are tons of married couples spending time separately in different towns due to work. Are they having arguments cause of no sex. I see some in India and some in us too.
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This is definitely not normal. What are your kids ages? Its quite common to be stressed out when they are below 7. If your house is large, try to have kids sleep in separate room and you can sleep alone. See if he comes over or initiates. If not, you should tell him straight away that its not possible to live together this way.

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