Dear poster, You do have a job and in fact it is the toughest job ever created. Let me tell you why I think so. In middle schools here in Washington D.c areas (may be in other areas too in U.S) the kids have a career day set aside in the academic year. The student will shadow an adult who is in a profession that the student thinks is ideal for him/her when they grow up. My friend's daughter decided that she wants to be a home maker first and then later in life might go for a paying profession and with her teacher's permission she shadowed her mom for a day. The teacher made sure that the kid will draw up a schedule for each of the school hour and maintain a record of what her mom did for those hours in addition to before school and after school hours. Can you guess what the kid's summation was at the end of the day?? She has decided that being a home maker was the toughest job since all the hours in the school day were totally accounted for in addition to before and after school hours with literally no down time for her mother. The kid also observed that ervery other member in the family (herself,her dad and her younger brother) had some personal time during the daylight hours where as her mom did not 'SEEM' to have any. But that did not deter her from wanting to be a future home maker. She wrote that being aware of the job requirements made her how to be better prepared for the toughest job in the world (wisdom from the mouths of babes) to cut the long story short, You have the job but didn't acquire the tools for it. Here in this country the biggest handicap is not being able to drive your self to places. I don't know how you have managed all these five years(assuming you moved to US right after marraige). Just going out for drive will lift up your spirits (or even going out for a walk as other members have posted.) You are lucky in that geographically you seem to be in a place where there is lot of public transportation/amenities close at hand. Can you imagine living in rural south with the nearest park/grocery/mall 15 to 20 miles away and hubby's work hours are 8 am to 7pm with some week ends too ?? I was ready to get my driver's license by the third week I arrived in this country. Does not talk much?? no problem for me tell him all my days activities which continues todate with my kids picking up now and now I don't get to talk much:-D . Please persevere and he will come around. With a young toddler at home you don't need to look for a job out side. Just enjoy the baby years and arrange playdates, arrange mom baby outings go shopping and enjoy yourselves and do have so much fun that your husband would want to join in. And do not feel guilty to drop the baby off at a baby sitter's now and then so that you can have some time for yourself. Go and relax in a day spa girl and things will not look so gloomy. Pushpa.