Retirement considerations

Hello Malathi

First of all, Welcome aborad. You seem really enthusiastic person. I read your other post about confusion in spliting time between In-law and own relatives. I enjoyed reading it.

Now before I go on to utter my opinion , i must tell i am just 30 years old, so half your age. From where i stand today, I think you have made pretty good life out of your career and house. And I would say its but natural that you feel like retiring.

There is nothing wrong in considering it. Seeing people like us thinking about retiring at age of 40.. You have more leverage to do so. There is never enough for us to say, lets quit and start doing what we love to do.

All you need is convince yourself first , then your husband. At you age, I dont think he should even have second thoughts.

You can counter some arguments of his with following points.

- it's natural for women to feel like retiring , because in 30-40 years of marriage they have certainly gone through more on biological and emotional side. Havign given birth to kids itself put its constraints on women's body. Then at home, normally the ratio of involvement is 60-80% in females.

- for finance planning, chart out a safe budget for each month. And keep some amount for health related issues. If you address each of the apprehension logically . It will be easy to convince males. My husband and I keep talking about how we will take few months sojourn in africa after age of 45. Once you have finances well planned and implemented. There will be less fears.

- About talents, Its about time that you allowed yourself to indulge them. Just stand for it. And you will realise how much you were missing.

- Life is very inpredictable , so make most when you can. You have played you inning very well till now. Now its time you get some rewards for yourself.

:cheers

 

Dear Malathi,

Different stages of life bring with it different problems !
Before I continue, I belong to your age group too. I admire your efficient managament of work and home life and looks like God has been kind to you from what you say.
Ria is a very wise young woman and has written with wisdom far beyond her age. I agree with her thoughts.
For your info, my husband took an early retirement so that we could move to the US and be close to our adult children. It was a huge decision as he is the soul bread winner in the family. But then....we can buy many things in life, not health and time. So, in that sense, we have no regrets.
I think you will not regret your decision if you retire. You seem to have many talents and interests. Nurture them and enjoy yourself in peace. I am sure your husband will soon realize the value of it all.
The other option is, if possible, to go part time. That way, you have a bit of the both worlds!
Wish you lots of luck in whatever decision you take.

L, Kamla

 

Dear Malathi,

Let me tell you this first that unknowingly you are helping me gain clarity in so many of my own thoughts! J Thanks for that! Like your reply to the thread about dividing time between parents and in-laws had me in splits! I was sort of consoled to know that I am not wrong in feeling torn even after being married for a decade now!

This thread is yet another one of those that gives me some clarity on my personal retirement goals!

Kudos to you on being such a great example for all of us here – work, career, home and hobbies! You have made your mark in all these spheres!You surely deserve all that your heart yearns for!

Yes, men do need the financial comfort much more than we women do. It is hard for them to just let go of the money part.

Kamla and Ria have given excellent advice and have covered all bases. I agree with Ria that the key is to convince yourself first and address his apprehensions. Then stick to your conviction.

The added suggestion that I would like to give here is it to make your husband see what is in it for him if you retire now. How is it going to benefit him, how is it going to better his life and the time you spend together, what are the things you will be able to enjoy together that you cannot today or never could do before due to time constraints.

I try doing this “selling” to my husband too J. I have 20+ years before I reach my desired retirement age of early to mid 50s. But since my hubby thinks that I should probably continue to work longer than I plan for, I have started working on him right now itself! J

Good luck. We will look forward to hearing soon on how well you are spending your post retirement days!

SS

 

Dear Malathi,

First let me congratulate you on your successes. As a 40+ hoping to retire in the next decade or so I know very well what you are talking.

I second Ria in that you need to convince yourself first to be able to put to action your intentions.

As per your husband's thinking, i can only give you a real life example :

you all might be aware of the social security benefits system. If you put off your retirement for few years then your retirement benfits will be different. So heeding her husband's advice over her intuition X put off retiring for 'Just 3 more years'. Sad part is X is diagnosed with endometrial cancer few months before her retirement and currently is undergoing radical treatment. The additional 2 years that she was working she could have spent persuing her interests, with her infant grand kids, or just plain doing everything else for which she didn't find time to do while working.

As you already have several hobbies which you are passionate about, remember that you are retiring only from a "Paying job" not from life. I read your most recent post in "Rotten marraige" http://www.indusladies.com/forums/208549-post31.html. Apply the same logic to this decision in life except give more weight to your feelings (yours was the one response that for the first time made me visit the forum right from my personal email)

take care,,,

 

Dear Malathi,

Looks like you are thinking on the right lines. I wish you all the best! Do post some of your art works here, I would love to see them.

Well, I am glad that you are looking at things realistically!....I am trying to fine-tune the specific things I can offer to my two adult children by way of support that won't unduly occupy me physically or time-wise in the process, and yet be of value to them and their families [Easier said!!!]......I am reflecting on those lines of your's!

You will be amazed...man proposes and God disposes...is the saying. And whoever said it was talking with wisdom and experience! We can only plan that much, rest is up to Him and it is up to us to make the best of every day given to us...I think you will agree!

Yes, I have seen both the films that you mentioned. Baghban is a bit overdone...all the same, a surprise that such a theme was attempted at that big a cost considering an elderly couple hog the show! And why not!?!

Thanks for enquiring....we are ok! We are trying to count our blessings and deal with the rest! What is interesting is...we were prepared to face a rather quiet life, considering our age and stage of life. Making new friends at this age was next to impossible..was what we thought. Once again, we were proven wrong and that I met similar minded people in our age group was also a blessing that I gratefully recognize

Keep informing as to how things will go for you....And like Blondie says, your response in the thread "Rotten life" was extremely impressive and I logged in to check if it was the same Malathi!!

L, Kamla