Reconcile with inlaws?

ASG

Issue with reconciling is , that most of the time, people u r approaching do not consider it a good gesture of peace making rather they consider the guilty ones r here to cleanse their spirits..

I myself am waiting to reconcile, but as of now that's a costly affair, i cud put my own peaceful life with DH at risk, which i don't want to.. In my case past 7 yrs, i have done it numerous times which have always backfired me. And now i am just concentrating on my own DH and kid.

In ur case, i believe ur into the m'age for few yrs, so may be u should try a couple of more times.But warning bells r ringing looking at the kind of MIL u have described, sometimes all efforts r useless with adamant people..

cheers
tiyamommy

 

:bang

Does'nt she leave her house at some point (atleast for grocery shopping), making the FIL live alone for some time??? There must be some way you guys can catch hold of the FIL. Think about it.

If there is no chance, just send an email to your MIL itself. Whether she shows it to FIL or not is her problem. You know, everyone suffers because of a bad lady in the family.

Since you have this gut feeling that this lady may cause trouble, its better to stay away than getting sucked in by the tornado.

 

ASG, I feel you can leave your husband to make that decision.With the background of your in laws, your MIL will most probably charge into your life with this.Are you ready for this?If it only were to be a wish you cud have done that with all suggestions the other ladies gave you or what you are thinking yourself.

Why do you want to disturb the bliss you are enjoying?Do not worry, In laws can cook up a way of coming back in your life effortlessly in a snap. I have had experiences like this with my own in laws were they were not communicating except few occasional e-mails and one fine day come back crying foul full time by repeated phone calls ,e-mails.Strangely it wud coincide with my husband's visa getting over in a month or when we had a huge fight.Both times just to convince him to come back to India and to abuse me more. That I was asking for it by causing fights.It wud bring depression in me and ruin our already damaged relationship to bare threads.I wud have divorced my husband if he decided to move back to India.That is the damage in laws can cause,particularly my FIL and SIL.This is just a small example of my life before. Are you ready for such drama.

Do you really think your husband can talk to his dad without your MIL getting involved?She is maybe waiting for this moment from the time your husband stopped all communication.If you still go ahead, your MIL wud most probably blame everything on you and disturb a good life you are having . The blame game will come sooner or later.Are you ready for it. Your FIL wont come alone but bring your MIL,SIL into your life.

Think thru and decide. Good Luck.

 

Dear ASG,

All of them have given some valuable suggestion, my 1 cent is..... u would be having atleast one common relative or friend who shares good relationship or understands both side situation/problems. U can try approach and make him a mediator in this issue. That way ur risk will be minimal(sorry i understand ur pain, i am not asking u to be shelfish... hope u got what i wanted to say) and there won't be much show down.

Ur common friend can talk to ur fil over phone or in person as per the situation at home. But then u need to trust that person completely and he should be in there good books too.

Hope it makes some sense. Good luck Dear ! God is great

vaidehi

 

Hi ASG,

If she is manipulative and cunning, she is not waiting for you to say any loving words, she is just waiting for another opportunity.

This happened to me. I usually talk less to MIL but once I thought why not talk to her like my mother in a nice way, maybe she will appreciate me better.
But nada, she again used my words against me while speaking to my DH.

If you know her intentions are not good, then don't drop your guard, she will hurt you again.

But she should not come in the way of your interaction with FIL if he is good. The good part is your DH is with you in this matter. Why cant your DH just say something like " Hi Mom. How RU. Can I talk to dad. I have something impt to tell him and I am in a hurry to leave for some place."

Keep the phone on speaker and just rush her up if she starts something.

Let us know what you decided.

 

I think thats the reason IL has the highest members, seems like every woman has something or the other to share in common with another woman...

Tiya...i had similar experince..that too not once or twice several times..whenever i approached for reconciling , they felt as if i am the guilty one and the reconciling part became tougher and tougher for me...

 

Dear Suitablegirl,
Your story is same like my story having little difference.I m facing problem with my mother-in-law till now.
My advice is to dont allow your DH to talk with his mom(that mean not to stop-ask him maintain a limit)

 

I am not sure if I m giving you right advice....but do not do anything....After sometime..matter will be cool and ur DH will get connected with ur FIL. If FIL is in so pressure of MIL...He'll never praise for any gift you will send...neither he will be able to talk to u properly. Even in middle of conversation ur MIL can take phone and can start again....Let them understand by themselves..that what wrong they did? I hope they will contact u guys soon...then u can easily celebrate father's day..

 

Hey ASG,

What your mom told you was exactly what I had thought when I read your post. So I would suggest please go ahead and leave it to your DH.