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Reality of the society

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by hrastro, Nov 18, 2014.

  1. hrastro

    hrastro Platinum IL'ite

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    These are some of the incidents of my life in the past 3-4 months of working on creating awareness about personal safety to kids!

    I have created a website with guidelines for parents to discuss with kids about their personal safety - http://smartkids.esy.es/
    Please share with parents and teachers.

    When the rape of a 6 year old girl was discussed in the media in July, all we could do was gape in horror!
    I spent the whole afternoon browsing about home schooling with tears blocking my vision!

    My neighbours, friends, servant maid, doctor, acquaintances, teacher - all of them had the same words on their lips - oh poor girl!!

    Parents were horrified -
    Some said- these guys should be castrated and hanged!
    Some said- ghor kalyug
    Some said- how do we send our kids to school

    While some parents said - Do you see the way these girls dress up in the PGs (paying guest accomodations)?? These are the ones who incite guys to rape!!! What can the poor man do? After all, he is a MAN, he cannot control himself!!!

    And then some parents asked - But how do we even start a discussion? What do we tell our children?
    So I collected some of my friends and we discussed how to create awareness for the kids
    We discussed drama, games, quizzes, questions, role play, videos - I've incorporated some of them in the website!

    Well we had differing opinions too - some said - girls shouldn’t be allowed to wear less clothes !!! They should always be covered. Even 10 year old girls clothes must be below the knee and at least half sleeves!

    I refused to bring the discussion of girls clothes and girls partying into the awareness program - unless it told the boys that however flimsy the girl's attire and however drunk she is and how much ever friendly she is to many boys, it gives them NO right to attack or take advantage of the girl!

    I went out to talk to some retired teachers, social workers, current teachers and principals - they were very encouraging and gave very good suggestions for the website - and asked me to delete the clothes issue from the script :)

    And one lady (well educated, career oriented mother of 2 little girls) asks me - "Why are YOU getting so hot and bothered about this topic? Tumhara to ek beta hi hai na ! (You have a son only)"
    I went out to childline (1098) whose director and other partners were kind enough to give me their time and opinions!
    Do we raise boys different from girls? "When a girl asks for water, she is asked to get water for herself and her brother,when a boy asks for water, he is served milk - both ways the communication link is broken !"
    Why do movies portray women as item girls?
    We also discussed about the shame - rape/molestation is probably the only crime where the victim feels ashamed !!

    The director told me "When an accident victim shows you his wounds, you check out his wounds and sympathise! But when a rape victim tells you she/he was raped, we immediately treat them like an untouchable person, Why?"

    Parents came to him in the wake of the news - Oh, if this happened to my child, I would commit suicide
    The director said - Why would you? You should be the one to fight the society for your child and teach her to lead a normal life

    The director also said - It is worse for a boy when he gets molested - the society tells him "oh but you must have enjoyed it"

    And then one of my friends overheard a conversation in her gym (high end ladies gym) -
    one lady said - "I was sick with viral fever for the past 7 days and last night my husband said -what is the use of marrying you and then he raped me"!!!
    The other lady said - "my husband beat me up after last night's party because I laughed too much there" - they were discussing this as if they were discussing some movie story!

    After one of the awareness program was conducted - a 5 year old girl in all innocence asked "But amma, WHY would anyone touch my private parts?"
    And an 8 year old girl admitted to her parents that her neighbour "uncle" used to touch her and ask her to keep it a secret!!

    Is it more heart-breaking to see innocent kids getting more aware of adult issues OR is it more heart-breaking that the awareness program made the parents of the innocent girl aware of her suffering?

    I just wanted to share the incidents - some may be unrelated, but all these incidents happened in my quest of creating awareness for kids - is this "pain" the reality of the society ?

     
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  2. blissofmylife

    blissofmylife Silver IL'ite

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    Great link Hrastro!
    Appreciate your effort....
     
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  3. hrastro

    hrastro Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanx blissofmylife
     
  4. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Great job, Hrastro! Kudos to you for taking on this important topic.
     
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  5. hrastro

    hrastro Platinum IL'ite

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  6. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    H,

    finally you left so many clues i figured you. and just take a salute from me.

    many of us will talk about this in parties, in anon forums, post status on fb, sign petitions and then the buck stops there.

    it takes a lot of effort to move another step and work on something that you feel is needed.

    oh, h, i have heard more than this. it is not just uneducated, nor people.

    i am sure my dd will not feel bad now nor object..

    dd was sick during her 12th. she had taken off and doctor wanted an immediate scan because of her spasmodic pain. i was sitting at a reputed scan centre and i get a call on my mobile.

    X- i am xxx your daughter's class teacher.
    me- good afternoon. how are you
    x- i am fine. do you know where your daughter is right now.
    me- what
    x- there are 10 people absent in the class, i assume your daughter also has gone reckless and is goofing at some mall with all them. can't you keep tabs on her.
    (by now my bp has shot up.. and i am really seeing red)
    me - can you wait a second. my daughter is sitting beside me, waiting for a scan, and if you are interested in more details i will ask her to talk to you.
    x- oh i see. why did she not submit her leave letter..
    me- because we did not know she was going to be sick yesterday.
    x- ok ask her to bring the leave letter.

    now in the whole conversation, the teacher did not have a sorry feeling nor any explanation on why she was doing that. a very reputed school.
    (daughter is not into partying, nor movies nor going out and if she is going to be late she would inform us.) just trying to tell you the opinions that people make. here a teacher who has such cheap opinion of the kids. (i do not say that all students are right, but then these teachers would make a saint a sinner with their comments, remarks..)

    just to say that reality of the society is too harsh, and wanting to shut off and close the doors darkness sometimes.. but then we are also part of the society and need to do something that is possible..

    again the matter of dress. i agree, it is a individual comfort zone, and this should not be talked about. a no is a no, even if the person is nude.

    Raising and educating the generation beyond this is a great responsibility, but is possible only if all of us work together.
     
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  7. amihere

    amihere Platinum IL'ite

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    Hrastro,
    Thanks for the link. As Shanthi ma'm said most stop at fb discussions and all but the fact you took this much pain and also cared to post the link here is so nice of you.
     
  8. hrastro

    hrastro Platinum IL'ite

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    Shanvy!!! Thanx so much for understanding and acknowledging that :) It means a lot to me !!


    Shanvy, my heart goes out to your DD !! And all her classmates too!! What kind of teacher has preconceived notions and judges students so harshly???!!!

    I totally agree !!! Wanting to just shut off and not discuss this issue is so easy !! Changing an entire generation is a massive effort and can only start with small steps by each one of us!

    Some of that Aamir Khan does with Satyameva Jayate !! I admire him for that !

    Thank you amihere!
     
  9. chillbreeze

    chillbreeze Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi Hrastro, as others said before, most of us stop with reading the news, discussing it for few days and forget it later. Its great that you have gone the extra mile to turn words into action and into something more concrete which will help a lot of children and parents.

    Though we read and hear so many incidents, I feel some parents are in denial that such things happen only in news and can't happen in their real life. I have experienced this couple of times when I started telling them to talk to/teach their children, they just brushed it off. While it is admirable that they trust everyone around them, it is important to equip our children with the required knowledge.
     
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  10. jayasala42

    jayasala42 Finest Post Winner

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    Dear Hrastro,
    It is nice that you are taking concrete steps to do something frutiful.Now a days parents are anxious and worried even to bring up a single girl child whereas i was brought up with 13 girls effortlessly in a joint family.
    We have to put up with the harsh reality.
    jayasala 42
     
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