"You've Got Mail" <?xml:namespace prefix = v ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:vml" /><v:shapetype id=_x0000_t75 stroked="f" filled="f" path="m@4@5l@4@11@9@11@9@5xe" oreferrelative="t" o:spt="75" coordsize="21600,21600"><v:stroke joinstyle="miter"></v:stroke><v:formulas><v:f eqn="if lineDrawn pixelLineWidth 0"></v:f><v:f eqn="sum @0 1 0"></v:f><v:f eqn="sum 0 0 @1"></v:f><v:f eqn="prod @2 1 2"></v:f><v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelWidth"></v:f><v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelHeight"></v:f><v:f eqn="sum @0 0 1"></v:f><v:f eqn="prod @6 1 2"></v:f><v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelWidth"></v:f><v:f eqn="sum @8 21600 0"></v:f><v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelHeight"></v:f><v:f eqn="sum @10 21600 0"></v:f></v:formulas><vath o:connecttype="rect" gradientshapeok="t" o:extrusionok="f"></vath><o:lock aspectratio="t" v:ext="edit"></o:lock></v:shapetype><v:shape id=_x0000_i1025 style="WIDTH: 3.75pt; HEIGHT: 9pt" href="http://www.riddlesandjokes.com/admin/editjoke.php?id=4631" o:button="t" alt="" type="#_x0000_t75"><v:imagedata o:href="http://www.riddlesandjokes.com/images/spacer.gif" src="file:///C:\DOCUME~1\SLAKSH~1.CLI\LOCALS~1\Temp\msohtml1\01\clip_image001.gif"></v:imagedata></v:shape> A man was sitting on his porch one afternoon when he noticed that his neighbor, a blonde, went out to her mailbox, opened it, and returned to her home empty handed. About five minutes later, he saw the blonde again. She checked the mailbox and once again, returned to her house empty handed. She did this two more times before the man decided to ask her about it. "Why do you keep coming out to your mailbox every five minutes?" the man asked. "Because," replied the blonde, "my computer keeps telling me that I've got mail!" But how do I know... <v:shape id=_x0000_i1027 style="WIDTH: 3.75pt; HEIGHT: 9pt" href="http://www.riddlesandjokes.com/admin/editjoke.php?id=5303" o:button="t" alt="" type="#_x0000_t75"><v:imagedata o:href="http://www.riddlesandjokes.com/images/spacer.gif" src="file:///C:\DOCUME~1\SLAKSH~1.CLI\LOCALS~1\Temp\msohtml1\01\clip_image001.gif"></v:imagedata></v:shape> Tech Support: "What does the screen say now." Person: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'." Tech Support: "Well?" Person: "How do I know when it's ready?" Classic Oxymoron <v:shape id=_x0000_i1028 style="WIDTH: 3.75pt; HEIGHT: 9pt" href="http://www.riddlesandjokes.com/admin/editjoke.php?id=1128" o:button="t" alt="" type="#_x0000_t75"><v:imagedata o:href="http://www.riddlesandjokes.com/images/spacer.gif" src="file:///C:\DOCUME~1\SLAKSH~1.CLI\LOCALS~1\Temp\msohtml1\01\clip_image001.gif"></v:imagedata></v:shape> Question: What is the biggest oxymoron of the 1990's? Answer: Microsoft Works! --pia
