reactions of dh and inlaws

a) i didnt disclose
b) they all appreciated & rescpected the fact that i didnt disclose

 

here in india doc wont disclose the gender of baby
i am juz 12 weeks old though
but be it a boy or girl in todays world are treated equally and no women is less in whatever you compare
but every one has their own choice we cant call it being selfish
i hope they said if its boy/girl will be good but dint say they kill your baby if its girl/boy right?
so take it on lighter note
i want a boy because my dad expired recently so i feel my dad comes back to me but my dh wants a girl since the begining..its just individuals choice no selfishness

 

I need to highlight one of your penned line here:
they want a girl for us just because they are jealous of me about almost everything

What exactly does it mean? I guess ur ILs have also sensed ur own feelings & simply trying to calm you for ur innnate need of a SON.

I really respect my FIL for his frank opinion where he mentioned.. everybody wants a SON.. now only to prove urself politically/ socially correct in front of others you say that you dont want son but a daugh..

According to me both are imp for any parent cos when u go to a kids shop u want to buy both the items.. that are meant for a gal & boy. Who takes care of whom cannot be predicted until ur bed-ridden & the day arrives.

 

I just had my first baby in US last year and here is my experience -

We informed parents and in-laws about the pregnancy the very same day we got a positive in the home pregnancy test (i.e) at about 5 weeks.
My MIL was super excited hearing the good news and at the same time kept bugging us every now and then how soon we can know the gender of the baby. Me and DH had an intuition that it is going to be a girl and when we told this to MIL, she was clearly disappointed. At my 20th week scan, we got to know that it is a boy. My MIL was totally thrilled and couldnt contain her emotions. Hearing all the over excitement on phone, my DH gently asked - "What if it was a girl?". My MIL replied that since my DH's elder sis already has a girl, she wanted a grandson.

Though it was no big deal, I was a little upset by the way she reacted.
I couldnt help thinking - "What if it was a girl ?"- I guess she would have made her disappointment obvious and sounded like it is my fault.

So, discuss with DH and think about whether you dont want to let your parents/inlaws know the sex early. If you think they are going to make comments that may upset you during pregnancy, I guess it is better to tell them that you wanted it to be a surprise and decided not to find the gender. Afterall, if the pregnancy and childbirth was in India, you get to know the sex only after the baby is born.

 

Some people do not have a child and are distressed over it. You are one of the chosen ones to be awarded with this honor. Do not dilute your feelings based on what others around you expect out of you. It is your child, a boy or a girl, is not going to change your affection towards it. So just enjoy the phase and no need to divulge any information to either of your folks, thats just my opinion.

 

lady is not the one who is responsible to derive the gender of the baby but its the man. tell the same to ur DH.

So when any one speak abt gender of the baby, jst say which ever it is does not matter - all it matters is to hv a healthy baby and thats what u want.
Well your SIL didnt learn the rocket science of taking care of a boy from somewhere....so dnt break your head on such usless words. Such comments hav to be replied immediately so that it does not bug u further.

When the gender makes so much diff amongst ur near and dears... keeping mum even while knowing and saying that the baby had folded its leg during scan so the doc cudnt say wd be a safer reply than revealing even when u know. (jst my opinion). Keeping the gender as a surprise till the baby sees the world wd keep u out of many unwanted tensions over others reactions during pregnancy.

Take good care of your health.

 

Newlife if u read my feedback on :
What was your inlaws reaction, when u revealed to them that you have conceived??

I went thru the same pressures of boy being a high end commodity & gal being lesser.. and when I was finally preggo my ILs also used to say that SIL has a son and a daughter in this fly will complete this family !!!!
I wonder if she was already thinking of transferring my DD to her own DD.. since there were many failed attempts on her to get re-preggo.
Infact post deliv many times she said I can take my grand daugh & my DD will take better care of her.. u can carry on with your job & son.

I also know that my MIL hates me for everything still I would never pass a statement as "She wants a DD for me cos she's jealous of me". I dont need to imagine this case Cos I went thru it. Even they badly wanted a son for my SIL who still says that her DH is indebted to her for producing a beautiful & healthy son!!!
Infact she wanted me to deliver a gal so that I can pass it to my SIL & complete their family like an indian bahu.. My MIL can go to any levels to fulfill desires of her own DD. When I discussed it with my DH he simply said.. I haven't opened up a babycenter to produce & distribute it to ppl who dont have a particular sex... that was one assurance which I really hold my DH high for... so he also knew that his mom was serious abu this transfer etc!!!

Note: In my DH's extended family his cousin sis had gone for gender detection for her 2nd preg & terminated it as she already had a daughter.. 3rd preg she finally got a son... infact all the gals in this family knew baby genders even when residing in India and were shocked to know that we had to sign a bond where gender cant be disclosed in scans... they infact went to the limit of abusing me and my parents for being secretive of gender disclosure.... my SIL said she wanted to know gender only to decide on gifts to be purchased.. as if in India ppls buy specific pinks or blues or wear only gender specific clothes.