1. Would you like to join the IL team? See open jobs!
    Dismiss Notice
  2. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

Quantas

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by corallux, Jul 12, 2007.

  1. corallux

    corallux Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    798
    Likes Received:
    12
    Trophy Points:
    33
    Gender:
    Female
    This joke is about Quantas- The national carrier of Australia:

    After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet,"
    which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics
    correct the problems, document their repairs on the form,and then pilots
    review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that
    ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance
    complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions
    recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is
    the only major airline that has never had an accident.

    P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

    S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.



    P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

    S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.



    P: Something loose in cockpit.

    S: Something tightened in cockpit.



    P: Dead bugs on windshield.

    S: Live bugs on back-order.



    P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.

    S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.



    P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

    S: Evidence removed.



    P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

    S: DME volume set to more believable level.



    P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.


    S: That's what they're for.



    P: IFF inoperative.

    S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.



    P: Suspected crack in windshield.

    S: Suspect you're right.



    P: Number 3 engine missing.

    S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.



    P: Aircraft handles funny.

    S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.



    P: Target radar hums.

    S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.



    P: Mouse in cockpit.

    S: Cat installed.



    And last ..............



    P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding
    on something with a hammer.

    S: Took hammer away from midget.
     
    1 person likes this.
  2. Sriniketan

    Sriniketan IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    12,521
    Likes Received:
    1,433
    Trophy Points:
    445
    Gender:
    Female
    I enjoyed it:yes:
    sriniketan
     
    1 person likes this.
  3. corallux

    corallux Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    798
    Likes Received:
    12
    Trophy Points:
    33
    Gender:
    Female
    Thanks for the FB Sriniketan

     
  4. padmamadhavan

    padmamadhavan New IL'ite

    Messages:
    67
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    8
    Gender:
    Female
    very funny.................
     

Share This Page