Pyaar dosti hai? yaa Pati paramatama?

I used to think romance is all about mushiness,giving gifts and the works.WHat I realised is that different people have different ways to express love.My husband never eats or drinks even a glass of water without giving me first.At the same time,whenever I feel thirsty and drink water myself,he stares at me in disbelief as to how I could drink alone..
Why I wrote the above is because my DH never gave me a valentine/wedding gift till date which I expected..however once I had severe neck sprain and couldnt lift my head..he literally did everything for me..fed me,put me to sleep and everything.
Even now sometimes I feel why he doesnt do anything special on special days...but thats him..he has different ways of expressing his love.
Its definitely mutual for us..like drinking water...also he massages my feet and expects me to do it for him too!!
So my point is we just go with the flow and make small adjustments.every person is different and we have to change our habits accordingly.I have never thought my husband would be god...never did,never will.He's just my better half...yes he's better than me!

 

This thread seems to think that only the life/dynamics as espoused by the OP is the world's best, and anything else is Chandamama story or anachronistic. The condescending tone* is unmistakeable.

It is wrong to assume that people who have shared their style of romance in other threads do not share mutual respect and love.


It is nothing but figment of imagination that seems to have arrived at the conclusion that people who share a close romantic relationship are doing it only because of Pati paramatama. People can press the feet or press the neck or whatever. Thats their form of expressing the love and no one form is more or less 50-50 in a relationship than the other.

Having said that - each couple has their own dynamics, as the saying goes - whatever floats your boat. As long as the couple are comfortable in their dynamics, then thats the best suited for them.

To each, their own. And I dont think there is any need to sound condescending about one over the other.

 

And, I hope people dont mistake the people who post as possibly women who may need to be 'liberated' to think that they are also equal to men. (as per the focus on "Partnership", "mutual" respect etc).

People here are extremely independent, smart, and 'liberated' women. Their DHs are super guys as well. But the dynamic that a couple shares is what they CHOOSE and what they LOVE. Thats very personal and unique, just like the fingerprints on each person is unique.

If one were to extrapolate such personal love and affection, to mean that there is a lack of a 50-50 in the relationship that would be a big mistake.

 

Sweet post, Rose.

 

Top post rose8282. With some good examples, you have illustrated the unique nature of relationships. They are all different and thats the beauty.

 

YEAH!!!! I read it many times!! Enjoyed thoroughly, Rose. Thanks for sharing such a balanced view! Lovely! :thumbsup

 

The people in IL are real - not a single one here is from a chandamama/fairytale marriage. And the positive and negative stories we have heard in IL are a sample of the spectrum of marriages in real life.

The assumption that the positive stories we hear are because the women were of the pati paramatama philosophy is not true. Those are pyaar dosti hai relationships too.

Of course, whether folks believe that or not is entirely upto them.