Pursuit Of Love - Chapter 8

On Saturday, I reached St. Vincent Park right on time. It was a small circular park with the central region filled with plethora of beautiful and colorful flowers planted and surrounded by few benches for the visitors to sit. Some old men and women came there for their daily walking on the lane between the benches and the flowers but mostly during the early mornings. Afternoons are usually silent without any humanly intervention. As I went inside I saw Victor sitting on one of the benches, looking at his watch, shaking his legs impatiently. My eyes were fixed on his charming persona even as he was just in his casual attire wearing some t-shirt and track pants. I realized this was not any romantic date and probably some serious one. I became uncomfortably conscious as I marched towards him.

“Hi Victor... looks like you have come early?” I struck the conversation rather confidently and nonchalantly hiding the discomfort in my heart behind.

“Hi... Uh... no just came ten minutes back. Please sit.”

He offered me space to sit beside him on that small bench where usually some teenage lovers sit closely gliding into each other’s arms, sneaking furtively into some solitary place like this to fulfil their fantasy passions.

After exchanging some formal greetings and enquiries about the well being of his mom, my aunt and uncle we remained quiet for a little while. Then before I could ask him the real reason for the meeting he started to speak.

“Sarah, I am really happy that you came. There is something dark and unpleasant that happened to me which has made me this kind of unfavourable person you had seen sometimes. Well to be honest and to start with, I really like you a lot and indeed I am very happy whenever I am with you free from all the things that torment me in my life.”

My face brightened as I heard those words from Victor. I felt a little relieved from inside as he continued speaking.

“You are extremely intelligent, sweet and adorable and any man should be lucky to have you in his life. I wish it was me though I will leave the decision to you only after you listen to me, about me.”

I was totally focussing and concentrating on him and his words.

“I am not sure if you remember about my ex-wife Laura?” as he gave a puzzled expression, I grinned to myself as I knew she was the only person haunting me every time I was with Victor.

“Yeah... I remember faintly about you mentioning her name...” I smartly lied.

“Laura and mine was an arranged marriage. My dad and mom and her parents were family friends. I was not acquainted to her closely before marriage but knew her for long and admired her too. She was a ravishing beauty.”

My heart was burning from inside when I heard Victor say that, but I knew it was true. I felt the same when I saw their wedding photo for the first time and composed myself.

“I loved her a lot. She was everything to me. We had a great marriage and things were wonderful until that day I got my only trusted and best friend inside my home that I had made so lovely with Laura. He came inside, spoiled everything and ruined every bit of my happiness and peace leaving me an inexplicable anguish and betrayal for the rest of my life. Ashish Roy was my one and only best friend since college. We even worked together for the same bank. Ashish used to visit my place a lot many times, sometimes even when I was not home. Laura and I stayed alone here in Bangalore while my parents were living with my elder brother in Delhi. Like often I used to travel on official tour on weekly basis while Laura I thought used to stay at her parents place. This privacy at my home without anyone around gave my wife and my best friend all the room to develop their immoral and unchaste relationship during my absence. Laura used to be her usual self when I was around and I never got even a tinge of suspicion or disbelief on her. I loved her in a way no man could but that was not sufficient to that whore. I gave her all the happiness I could afford but she was greedy. I was a stupid, dumb idiot who failed to notice this disgrace and deceit that was happening around me until that dreadful day.

I had a business trip to Mumbai. My flight was at 12.00 in the midnight and that day I left home early as it was raining. A little later after I reached the airport I received a call from office that the meeting which was scheduled with my partners was cancelled due to some unexpected reasons and I was told that my visit to Mumbai would be postponed until further notice from my team there. This trip was organized for almost one entire week and the fact I had to stay away from Laura was distressful. When I heard the meeting was cancelled I was extremely delighted to run home, see Laura and be with her. I did not inform her about my coming back and thought it would be a surprise to her. It was half past 12.00 a.m. when I reached home. I always had a spare duplicate house key with me and with intent of not wanting to disturb her I opened the door gently. I walked inside our bedroom to surprise her but instead was left aghast standing there at my bedroom doorway witnessing my best friend naked making love to my naked wife on our bed that was gifted to us for our marriage. I was stoic, almost collapsed mentally when I saw that dreadful, horrifying scene that no husband should witness and in a fit of fury I picked the metal lampshade placed in front of the dressing table and gave one really hard blow on his head. He fell down bleeding profusely while Laura was screaming at the top of her voice embarrassed and appalled.

He survived narrowly saving me from not becoming a murderer as a compliment. My life turned upside down. I did not know what was happening around me. I did not know whom to trust. Suddenly there were policemen visiting my house on the account of Ashish’s physical assault. Laura and I had terrible altercation lest I could not hurt her the way I had hit Ashish. I loved her genuinely but was left only with the infidelity of my wife and my best friend who was nothing less than a brother to me. She cried copiously don’t know if it was for cheating on me or because Ashish was hurt. She never loved me and only pretended to be this fulfilling perfect wife. She told she loved Ashish and left me. Until today I do not know what was so enticing about him that made her devastate me. My father died out of a heart attack the moment he got this news. My life became a total wreck. My mom came down to Bangalore to stay with me ever since then. Several futile arguments happened between Laura, her family and my family.

Finally after three months we were granted divorce. I still remember vividly the day our divorce was declared, Laura and Ashish walking outside the court hand-in-hand. I could not fathom where I failed. More than Laura choosing Ashish over me it was the fact that she did not notice my eternal love hurt me more; the fact that my best friend deluded me almost killed me. Ashish and I spoke only once outside the court a day before my divorce with Laura, and all he told was that he was sorry to fall in love with my wife. My family and I were left with unimaginable ignominy. All my neighbours, relatives, friends, acquaintances started seeing us through different eyes. Some were sympathetic, some sad while most of them were filled with mockery, cynicism and criticisms. I was a total failure, a big joke, and a man who did not know how to keep his woman with him. I moved home, changed my job to conceal myself from the failure in my life. Until today I tried avoiding people who knew my disgusting past, a past that reminds me as an unworthy guy, a foolish person who fell in love madly with an undeserving woman, a man betrayed by his best friend and that explains my unexpected behaviour when I bump into someone whom I would resent to see.

The cop we met the other day was the one who was there all through my divorce trial right from the time of apprehending me for assaulting Ashish and later vindicated by my wife and her lover probably they felt they committed a bigger crime than mine.

And then in Hyderabad of all the people on this earth I bumped into Ashish. Luckily he did not see me. I still do not know why I was afraid to see him, probably the fact that he was malicious enough to snatch Laura from me while I lacked the potential to retain my wife. Coincidentally my mom also fell ill and moreover I was not comfortable even one bit to stay in Hyderabad any longer especially with the fear that I might see Laura after almost four and half years and the sight of her would make me weak and miserable.”

I was stupefied staring at him speechless as he continued again with tears flowing from his eyes.

“I don’t know if I am completely over her even now. My mom insisted in meeting you. I was reluctant initially but since I met you and been with your company, I felt light and lively after really a long time. I felt you might get back the life in me which I had lost ages ago. But something turns me off and reminds me of my failure, how ungrateful Laura was, of the love that I had on her and that is forbidding me in getting any closer to you for real. I am sorry for getting you into this mess and pouring my pathetic morose story on you.”

I was perplexed as I heard a much unexpected mind-harrowing past about Victor. I tried to pacify him as he was lamenting. I thought that Laura was the foolish one to choose some tall lanky average looking Bengali as against my sweet and benevolent prince charming. After a hiatus I opened up listening to that story of Victor.

“First of all I am truly sorry that something so bad had happened to a person like you. But I would rather not worry or fret too much about your past instead would love to be a part of your present and the future. I know there is some sort of redressal that you are seeking for the humiliation that happened to you but above all I would just want to know if you love me and want to marry me. Life is all about highs and lows and maybe I may not have the privilege to advice you yet you got to move on for your own good, stop living and thinking about your past and instead live the present moment” I sighed.

“Sarah, I know it is really hard for you especially after knowing things about me, but one thing which I feared to confess all this while is that I love you but the moment I fall in love with someone things might go wrong. I don’t want to lose you or lose in life again but I am really anxious and afraid to take any step towards a marriage again. I need something, some solace don’t know what to help me come out of that disappointment from what Laura had done to me. I hope I would surmise in course of time. Can you wait until then for me?”

I looked into his eyes for a few seconds when he asked me that question, I was dying to embrace him in my arms and kiss him but I did not. I loved him now more than earlier. I knew he was the one for me but I wanted him to say that to me.

“I will wait.” I just told that and then both of us without any further conversation left that place in silence.

I tossed to my left and right that night as I was lying on my bed with Victor’s words, his past ringing through my ears. I felt this ominous and desperate need to help Victor come out of his past, to make him live for the present, to help him understand a prosperous life with me in the future and then suddenly an idea flashed my mind. I sat upright on my bed and looked at the clock in my room. It was 1.00 a.m. With a sense of gratification and an internal contentment of finding a solution to Victor’s problem I laid down again determined to implement my plan.
(To be contd...)

Pursuit Of Love - Chapter 7