1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Protection Order

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Reena26, Jan 14, 2021.

  1. Reena26

    Reena26 Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    83
    Likes Received:
    27
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi,

    Just wondering if there are any attorneys on here that can advise me on a protection order. If harassment is from abroad what can i do? if i send my mother inlaw a message on whatsapp stating do not text or call and she still does - what can i do? if she is harassing me and then attempts to come to the USA from India - can I do anything just before she comes? Will it help if I am undergoing treatment from a therapist and psychiatrist documenting the abuse? what if I have a recording from my husband stating "I will not bring them here or book your tickets due to your trauma" can that help if he breaks his promise? What if he threatens to take my son out of state without my consent?
     
    Loading...

  2. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    12,072
    Likes Received:
    29,277
    Trophy Points:
    540
    Gender:
    Female
    When she calls you, play the recording of your husband saying:

     
    Anusha2917, shravs3, drdiva and 3 others like this.
  3. Metamorphic

    Metamorphic Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    477
    Likes Received:
    1,020
    Trophy Points:
    248
    Gender:
    Female
    Why not change your phone number??

    What exactly is she texting and calling you about?? Is she threatening you in anyway?? If so, you must record her calls and save the chats. Why is she trying to come to the US? Is it “ I’ll see your end” kind of visit? What are afraid of ? Is there a reason to feel what you feel?

    You must gather all the specifics and facts, means the proofs. Apprehensions won’t be sufficient. You have to substantiate and be prepared with what makes you think it is abuse.

    Do you doubt your H too? Even after he, by his talks, appear to be supporting you? Do you have a reason to believe he could be cruel to point of separating you and your child against your wishes?? If you think your fears are justified, then gather all the material evidence to prove it. Not the vague ones, some real solid stuff.
     
    shravs3 likes this.
  4. winterhue

    winterhue Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    118
    Likes Received:
    296
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    1) Did you try to block her on WhatsApp/ Unfriend her on social media . Is she trying to call you even after that ? In that case, what does she want to so desperately talk to you about ?
    2) You have some issues with your husband with relation to communication. I would suggest to first sort that out. Having been brought up in a western culture, you will understand the value of counselling. Maybe half the battle you have is to first get your husband to listen to your issues and decide what he values more, his mom's presence or your peace of mind.
    Hoping you find peace soon!
     
  5. Reena26

    Reena26 Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    83
    Likes Received:
    27
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Gender:
    Female
    She is basically what you call a psychopath/narcissist. She has visited here 3 times but I was scared to call the cops. She would accompany us everywhere to keep an eye on us. She would listen at 2am when everybody was asleep and my son woke up and came in our room. She made my husband add her to our homeowners page. When my husband was not supportive she trapped me in my flat for 6 months - could only leave for baby food. There I went in my room for space and locked the door. She banged the door and screamed at me to get out. On her last visit she came in my room in front of my then 4 year old. Followed me into my room and said “Aarav(my son) is my blood!!”. Then I went for a walk she screamed “keep your child”..I didn’t believe my spouse was bad but they were. He is supportive snd I have cut off all contact. But she still emotionally blackmails him to bring her here. I want to protect myself from future violence or stop her from coming at all. She threatened me “I will come back whether you like it or not”..never thought to record her then..so don’t know how to get proof for an order of protection in the future..other than my psychiatrist reports documenting what happened...
     
  6. lavani

    lavani Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    792
    Likes Received:
    1,034
    Trophy Points:
    263
    Gender:
    Female
    narc is different. but anyway that is not the point.

    any one can file TRO , but it is done against a person in usa.

    Temporary Restraining Order

    ok you have serious emotional and physical abuse issues here. you need to have your spouse step his foot down, if his family - which is you , is getting affected so badly.

    this is not a easy path. you need to talk to your spouse. sorry for repeating. but you will be starting a war, if you go that path, so plan and think 1000 times before you act -- protection in india

    https://indiankanoon.org/doc/538436...vxdzSgdS7PHnq4tIlRflYivCdSVaclQ9QHbhTsK5e8hHA
     
  7. DDream

    DDream Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,815
    Likes Received:
    3,814
    Trophy Points:
    285
    Gender:
    Female
    if i send my mother inlaw a message on whatsapp stating do not text or call and she still does - what can i do?

    I dont know why are you wasting your time by sending such a negative message or engaging with her over whatsup... it will add more negativity. Whether you like or not she is your dh's mother. So go for ' no contact ' ( best method to deal with narcissist) .

    BLOCK her in your whatsup, you will no long receive her message and she won't be able to see your profile picture. Its very easy to do . Google on how to do it.

    what if I have a recording from my husband stating "I will not bring them here or book your tickets due to your trauma" can that help if he breaks his promise? What if he threatens tot.

    You have to communicate with your husband that its a deal breaker. You will move out if he brings his mother to your house or he has to make separate living arrangements for her. Play this message to him.

    Don't engage with your MIL on this issue.

    The main issue is the inability on both sides to understand the cultural differences. It doesn't mean you have to take abuse or disrespect others. For you privacy is important, but she dint understand that. Its mostly due to her upbringing and lifestyle in her home. But that's not an excuse for blocking you from going out. I dont understand that. If someone lock you, call 911. Tell your husband also the same. If she repeats it.

    Also, think about your dh. For him his mother is important. You are also important. Both of you can't replace each other. She is your kids grandma. She appears to be a typical MIL. You can't deny that blood relationship. So tell him, he can visit his mother or take care of her as he wish. But dont bring her to your life and its a deal breaker.
    You are the only one who can decide what is best for you based on your tolerance level.

    Bringing attorney or getting restraining order etc will spoil your relationship with your dh. Why that headache when you have the option to seperate or move to another living arrangement.

    Your husband can't take your kid to anywhere without your permission. In such case ,you have to take legal help. But consulting an attorney won't hurt.

    If your dh has not started any process for bringing her here, then why to worry now? If he do, have a face to face talk with husband in a calm and composed way. Arguments, fights or complaining will add more fuel this problem. Go for a positive approach. Focus on actions than words.
     
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2021
    Rihana likes this.

Share This Page