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Problems because of his Female friend

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by PadmaS, Aug 18, 2010.

  1. iamsudha

    iamsudha Senior IL'ite

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    Don't be naive! Just the other day one of my friends from India commented that 'boy friends are better than husbands' in a joking way!
     
  2. sunitha

    sunitha Gold IL'ite

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    She is in India and he calls her from the U.S during his office times,which means if he calls her in the morning,it is already night in India or if he is calling her late at night U.S time,it is still very early morning in India.Both times,I'm assuming her husband should be at home in India.I really wonder how she manages???
     
    Last edited: Aug 19, 2010
  3. ajain35

    ajain35 Senior IL'ite

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    This is not flirting. This is just plain TALKING. Now how can someone stop someone from talking?

    In a class, students will talk no matter how much teacher gets annoyed. Unless of course, the teacher makes the lecture interesting enough to prevent students from getting defocused.

    So if you can make your talking with your hubby so sweet, that he has no time to talk with other women. I do not know how on earth a wife can do it without running out of topics to talk about but maybe you can.

    Now, I will be a little evil and mean here. Your husband finds a good friend in her and she finds a good friend in him. You need to break the friendship. And that will happen when the woman finds a better friend to talk to. If she talks to you more than her husband, your husband will start to feel left out and maybe reduce his talk time. But please mind it, by doing this purposely you are not being fair to your husband. After all, he also needs a break from you.

    Anyway, don't burn yourself out over this but as sudha said, try to find more. Anything can happen in this crazy world.

    -AJ
     
  4. rose8282

    rose8282 Platinum IL'ite

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    its just talking,but for 2 hours at a stretch..that too every week is funny.Why dont you also engage in the talk..If you cant beat 'em,join 'em!
     
  5. PadmaS

    PadmaS New IL'ite

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    Well Ladies, I spoke to him on this yesterday night. We had a terrible fight. He started saying I have zero trust in him. He did not have dinner, not today's breakfast and left empty stomach to office. :(
    I knew this would happen when I ask him. Lets c how long it goes.
     
  6. ajain35

    ajain35 Senior IL'ite

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    What did you say that made him so angry? Instead of c-ing how long this goes, maybe you can apologize to him.

    Frankly speaking, I see the problem is with you and not your husband. Don't push your husband over the edge for such a minor issue.

    Just my opinion,
    -AJ
     
  7. PadmaS

    PadmaS New IL'ite

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    Well... probably you are right. I did apologize as well yesterday night, for which he started crying saying I'm not caring enough. :(
    What to do? I'm unable to concentrate enough. I'm unable to cook daily, clean daily when I have to go to office. He says these things emotionally satisfies him.
     
  8. mstrue

    mstrue New IL'ite

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    Sorry about your situation, Padma. What does he mean and what do you infer by his statement: "these things emotionally satisfy me"? That is your cue to where/why the gap is, how big/serious it is, whether to leave it as is or take wise steps to repair it, dear..
     
  9. PadmaS

    PadmaS New IL'ite

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    He's been alone here in US for past 6 years. I see that he has been missing home food, home care etc. And I understand that. I really want to help and I'm doing my best.

    I'm unable to do such household things daily and when I demand certain things (like don't talk to other ladies), he thinks I'm over-demanding but not giving anything.
     
  10. Needafriend

    Needafriend New IL'ite

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    Dear Padmas,

    As per my experience dont trust him fully and what do u mean by 'these things emotionally satisfy me'?

    Even my husband used to talk to his old female friend and when i said him to stop talking with that female frnd,he also said same as ur DH that i dont trust him bla..bla.. later on i find out that they were emotional getting attached to each other and later on they started to have intimate chating online.

    The only ddifference is i mine arranged marriage and urs is love marriage.

    I hope ur husband is just friends with her and nothing more than that.

    Love,
    Swati
     

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