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Prenup Agreement Before Wedding

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by mohini16, Feb 23, 2020.

  1. mohini16

    mohini16 Silver IL'ite

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    Hello ladies, I want to know if any of you living in USA / Canada or any western country has signed prenup with your spouse before marriage?
    I know it is popular in west but what about Indians living in USA? Has any of you signed the agreement in case of divorce how to split properties?
    I came across someone / Indian man, (earning descent) brought up this topic casually in conversation and since then I'm thinking if we Indians have also started doing this prenup thing? I'm not comfortable with it though.
    Please pour your experience.

    Thanks a bunch
     
    sarvantaryamini, Amulet and Rihana like this.
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  2. ragzz

    ragzz Silver IL'ite

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    Not as common amongst NRIs, can be done if both prefer to sign one.
     
  3. Laks09

    Laks09 Staff Member Finest Post Winner

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    The lawyer did bring it up while discussing wills and trusts. I feel it is a little too much but we will go by what the kids want to do when they get there.
     
    Rihana likes this.
  4. anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

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    Every marriage should start with trust..

    Prenup is a very unromantic and disrespectful gesture in my opinion.

    One gets married to be together in the first place.Love is such a beautiful feeling that it wipes out every flaw in their lover and start their lives.Prenup is a very careful arrangement and a sign of distrust.Love is blind and it should be coz that’s what makes life beautiful..

    The couple will be together or separated later but what is life and love without any hope or trust??

    Everything in life should not be based on economics..life has to be asthetic..lives beautifully..


    Marriage will be full of compramises,pain,pleasures,tolerance,
    giving up our ego,sacrifices but that is what is the beauty of love!!
    Life tests our true love for the other person through marriage!inpersonally feel it is not for the faint of heart..

    there is no “I” in a marriage but “We”..

    Infedility,being treates a doormat,physical abuse and emotional are some of the unfortunate reasons for divorce..

    If the girl or guy is truly in love..a marriage will succeed.

    anyways sorry to get into my romantic notions :D

    coming back to the topic..prenup? No good.It is a sign of distrust.infact even insulting.

    If the guy or girl asks for a prenup,that means they are not sure about the love
    The other person has for them.
     
    sarvantaryamini likes this.
  5. Laks09

    Laks09 Staff Member Finest Post Winner

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    It’s about parents not wanting to give their assets to the child’s spouse. It’s the most unromantic thing to do but lately most of my friends are insisting on it or putting the money in trusts that can’t be sued in case of lawsuits, divorces etc.
     
  6. Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

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    ^^^+1 ... it is part of estate planning. And even if there isn't any estate-planning scheme involved,
    When one party brings up the topic of prenup, as in...
    then it is a thing that needs to be resolved among those two.

    A long marriage is entirely possible when one or both parties do not divulge all of what they think, get into it, and then let the chips fall where they may, and muddle forward. That had been the traditional scheme of "we Indians".
     
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  7. MalStrom

    MalStrom Platinum IL'ite

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    It’s not a bad idea especially if one party has family assets that they want to have a say over in case of separation. However make sure you have your own independent lawyer review your prenup to make sure it is fair to you. Do not use someone hired by your spouse-to-be.
     
  8. mohini16

    mohini16 Silver IL'ite

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    I am not getting married to this man yet.
    Here is the story of this man that is making me think about prenup more...
    He was married once and had 6 months old baby when he divorced, he is doctor on H1B visa earning descent amount of money , his EX came on H4(dependent) visa and his son was born in US so US citizen,
    I asked if he is paying child support(monthly) and maintenance to EX ,he said no coz she went back to India after divorce in USA and he gave up his PARENTAL RIGHTS for his son who was 6 months old only at time of divorce, and he mentioned he has no contact with his son in last 5 years (didnt talk , didnt meet and didnt even see).
    I am not buying this story of giving up PARENTAL RIGHTS ,
    I feel he was trying to get rid of child support so he gave up his father's right (I am not even sure if USA court allows it) , He said his EX wife told in court she has lot of money back home(India) and doesnt need any child support from him because she is leaving USA ,so he gave up rights.
    Thats one point.

    Now I already have baby from previous marriage and once i mentioned whoever i will marry that guy will adopt my baby in order to be her LEGAL father , he didnt respond to this , he is thinking we will just marry but he wont sign any legal documents for my baby , so he is off the hook if we divorce .
    This is second point

    and third he brought up this Prenup agreement in conversation and now I am really thinking about this man's thinking about marriage , he wants to have all the fun with wife but doesnt want to pay a penny if things go south in future ,
    he is earning very well , he even mentioned when we buy house you will put some money for down and i will put and then he Hinted we will have document about how much i have put and how much you have put so in future if something happens then you take your part and i will take mine (I am assuming he meant if we sold Big house he is thinking to buy)

    I am only talking to this person , havent even met him yet.

    These 3 points are making me think if he really is worth putting time and emotions beside yeah he is well educated Doctor .

    Am i over thinking or these points are valid ??
     
  9. ragzz

    ragzz Silver IL'ite

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    Too many red flags incl the "gave up parental rights and wont see his son". Run away from him.
     
  10. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    I don't see anything wrong with Indians also following prenups.
    It's good to talk about financial matters in case of death or divorce before getting married
     
    Angela123 likes this.

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