Post-mortem

Post mortem is Latin for "after death". In English, postmortem refers to an examination, investigation, or process that takes place after death. A postmortem examination of a body (often simply called a postmortem) is often needed to determine the time and cause of death; the stiffening called rigor mortis is one postmortem change that doctors look at to determine when death occurred. Today we've come to use postmortem to refer to any examination or discussion that takes place after an event.

“We live in deeds, not years: in thoughts, not breaths; In feelings, not in figures on a dial. We should count time by heart-throbs. He most lives Who thinks most, feels the noblest, acts the best” said Philips James Bailey, the English poet. “Life! we've been long together through pleasant and through cloudy weather; Tis hard to part when friends are dear, perhaps 'twill cost a sigh, a tear. Then steal away, give little warning. Choose thine own time, say not "Good-night," but in some brighter clime, bid me "Good-morning." – said Anna Laetitia Barbauld, another English poet.

It is our thoughts, words and actions that defines our lives and it is our discrimination of these three that determines our character. Our experiences are nothing but a set of circumstances that helps us to learn the purpose of our lives. All events that unfold in life are dress rehearsal for a better tomorrow. Failure and success are immeasurable to the human mind and they are nothing but loosely defined terms coined by the judgment by fellow beings. What is best is unknown to anyone of us and the best is limited by the capacity of our mind to think.

We must do heavy-lifting of every thought that creates negative emotions to throw them into the garbage bin. We must also energize our noble thoughts through the secret sauce called will power. That automatically draws unlimited resources available at our disposal. That is the power of noble men and women. If we have learned to control our thoughts, words, deeds, senses and mind, we become the conqueror. The world we perceive changes dramatically and universal love become a dominant factor in life. Unfortunately, the only specie that can conquer the mind and senses is the only one that limits unconditional love to limited resources in the circle of influence.

If we truly need to improve the quality of life, we need to conduct a postmortem of our mind to determine how it worked all day by sitting quietly in a place every evening. Let us find out when our character suffered from ill health during the day. Once this analysis results in pinpointing the root cause of the health issue, let us learn to fix it instantly so that it is never repeated. Most importantly, let us forgive ourselves for such an action after the remorseful session.

The journey about building character is lonely but if we build a great listening skills, we may have great resources around us to point it out making the introspection easier. The biggest obstacle for identification of root cause of health issues to our character is our own ego. The family, friends, colleagues, education, life skills, wealth, health, reputation, name, fame, etc. need not be meticulously accumulated if we learn to work on control of thoughts, words, deeds, senses and mind and development of the character. That automatically soaks us in unconditional love bringing everything and much more.

Rather than worrying about what others think about us when we are alive, what would people think of us after we leave our mortal coil, what would be spoken during our funeral, what would be written in our tomb, etc., let us measure the quality of life by determining how our character improves day by day, how our thoughts, words, deeds, senses and mind are controlled and how we demonstrate unconditional love to the fellow beings with no expectations. Let us seek flawless character and let the peace and happiness be byproducts. Life doesn’t start at the time of birth and ends at the time of death. Even if it does, let us write our own postmortem of our mind until there is no room for improvement. Sublime mind is the sign of a great character filled with unconditional love. Even we leave the mortal coil, let our good character become immortal.

 

Dear GG,

Unless we learn to express universal love to every fellow being, our character is suffering from unnatural health issues and hence requires postmortem. The difference between real postmortem of the body and character postmortem is, only the facts about the time and the nature of death is known in case of bodily death whereas in case of postmortem of the mind, besides knowing the time and the nature of death, we can revitalize our character and really bring it alive.

Viswa

 

Dear Smt. Jayasala:

It is always a delight to read your comprehensive response covering the subject thoroughly from all aspects.

I have participated in such post wedding postmortem in our own family. But when my FIL died, it was a small team consisting of my MIL, wife and myself to review everything including who didn't show up.

Nowadays, filming the surgical procedure has become very common particularly because of medical malpractice law suits filed in the US.

There used to be a television program called "From the earth to the moon" which I used to enjoy a lot. Frankly, there are critic groups to analyze every new version of the operating system released by IoS, Android, Microsoft, etc. and they analyze and publish the shortfalls in the newer version.

That is a great list of postmortem analysis. How many Carnatic singers used to wait for what Subudu was going to publish the next day about their musical performance.

As you rightly pointed out it is not about crying about the spilled milk. Every little review of our conduct during the day gives us rich knowledge about our inner qualities which not many share with us. Many times, I consider my spouse as my conscience as she is probably the best critic of my bad qualities as she listens to my expressed thoughts and performed actions round the clock.

Corporations have incorporated a management process but in personal life, this postmortem is highly neglected under the pretext "it is water under the bridge". In this postmortem, some extraordinary patterns of our own behavior can be noticed. Our sensitivities, emotions, pride, prejudice, etc. can be very well understood only through this process.

Viswa

 

Dear Smt. Srinivasan:

We are bound to make mistakes but once we have the habit of reviewing our thoughts and actions, we can eliminate them at least in future. Every one of our thoughts, words and actions are developing our character for which control of mind and senses are essential. Life becomes invaluable if we learn lessons out of it and learn to forgive ourselves for the mistakes we have done in the past.

Viswa

 

My dear Vani,

Unlearning some of our bad qualities is an important step to imparting the knowledge we need to gain. For doing this, we need to learn everything about ourselves.

I was watching a humor show in television the other day and one of the comedian gave me an important spiritual lesson by telling a story. The story goes as follows:

"Once a famous King was suffering from an unbearable headache. He brought the best doctors from many countries but no one could cure him. One day, a Saint visited the kingdom and he asked him what is the solution for his headache. He suggested, "In order to make the headache go away, he needs to see everything in green." The king started painting the whole palace with green paint spending so much money. Everyone in the palace was asked to wear green as well. But the headache didn't go. When he approached the Saint again, the Saint said, "Why waste money like this? All you needed to do is to wear a green glass to see everything in green."

The moral of the story is, "We can't change the world until we are prepared to change ourselves and when we do change ourselves, the whole world changes anyway."

I like the following quote of Rumi:


“Gamble everything for love,

if you’re a true human being.

If not, leave this gathering.

Half-heartedness doesn’t reach into majesty.

You set out to find God,

but then you keep stopping

at mean-spirited, roadhouses…”

Viswa